Surrender as Strength: Resilience Practices

Today we delve into the transformative power of surrender in building resilience and facing adversity. As professionals working with trauma, we often encounter overwhelming situations that seem beyond our control. Paradoxically, embracing surrender can be a key to developing greater resilience and effectiveness in our work.

Bessel van der Kolk, a renowned trauma expert, reminds us: “Trauma constantly confronts us with our fragility and with man’s inhumanity to man but also with our extraordinary resilience” [4]. This perspective highlights the dual nature of trauma work – acknowledging the pain while recognizing the incredible human capacity for healing.

Surrender doesn’t mean giving up. Instead, it’s about letting go of our need to control every outcome and trusting in our ability to adapt. As van der Kolk explains, “It’s about becoming safe to feel what you feel. When you’re traumatized, you’re afraid of what you’re feeling because your feeling is always terror, or fear, or helplessness” [4]. By surrendering to these feelings, we can process and move through them.

Peter Levine, another prominent figure in trauma studies, emphasizes the importance of bodily awareness in this process: “The body has its language that communicates to us through sensation and imagery.” This aligns with van der Kolk’s observation that “Mindfulness has been shown to have a positive effect on numerous psychiatric, psychosomatic, and stress-related symptoms, including depression and chronic pain” [4].

By surrendering to our bodily sensations and experiences, we open ourselves to new perspectives and solutions. We become more flexible in our approaches and better able to navigate the complex landscape of trauma work. Van der Kolk notes, “For our physiology to calm down, heal, and grow, we need a visceral feeling of safety” [3]. This mindset shift allows us to conserve energy and reduce burnout, ultimately making us more effective advocates for those we serve.

In her groundbreaking work on trauma, Judith Herman states, “The ordinary response to atrocities is to banish them from consciousness. Certain violations of the social compact are too terrible to utter aloud: this is the meaning of the word unspeakable.” By surrendering to the reality of trauma, we create space for healing and growth.

Contemplative Exercises for Surrender and Resilience

Exercise 1: The Surrender Breath

Purpose: To cultivate mindfulness and release stress through focused breathing.

1. Find a Comfortable Position: Sit in a quiet space where you feel comfortable.

2. Close Your Eyes: Take a deep breath through your nose.

3. Inhale: Consider a situation causing stress or anxiety.

4. Exhale: Imagine releasing your need to control that situation.

5. Repeat: Repeat for 5-10 breaths, surrendering more deeply each time.

6. Open Your Eyes: Notice any shifts in your perspective.

Exercise 2: The Surrender Journal

Purpose: To reflect on feelings of surrender and articulate thoughts in a safe space.

1. Gather Your Materials: Find a quiet space with a journal and a pen.

2. Set an Intention: Reflect on what surrender means to you and write a few sentences.

3. Free Write: Set a timer for 10 minutes and write continuously about a situation where you feel resistance.

4. Reflect: Read what you’ve written and highlight phrases that resonate with you.

5. Close with Gratitude: Write down three things you are grateful for.

Van der Kolk reminds us, “The more you stay focused on your breathing, the more you will benefit, particularly if you pay attention until the end of the out-breath and then wait a moment before you inhale again “[3].

By practicing surrender, we cultivate resilience, allowing us to stand firm in the face of adversity and continue our vital work as Trauma Champions. As van der Kolk beautifully puts it, “I can’t begin to imagine how I would have coped with what many of my patients have endured, and I see their symptoms as part of their strength—the ways they learned to survive” [4].

Exercise 3: The Nature Connection

Purpose: Connect with nature to practice surrender and cultivate resilience.

1. Choose Your Setting: Find a natural environment, like a park or garden.

2. Ground Yourself: Stand or sit comfortably and take a few deep breaths.

3. Observe: Spend a few minutes observing your surroundings—colors, textures, sounds.

4. Surrender to Nature: Allow yourself to feel a sense of surrender to the natural world, saying, “I surrender to the rhythm of nature; I trust in the process of life.”

5. Reflect: Consider how nature embodies resilience and adaptability.

6. Close with a Commitment: Commit to a tiny action embodying surrender and resilience this week.

By practicing these exercises, you can deepen your understanding of surrender and enhance your resilience in both your personal and professional life.