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Numb and Shutdown: How to Revive Your Motivation


How often do you experience periods of low motivation and emotional shutdown?

  • [ ] Rarely
  • [ ] Occasionally
  • [ ] Frequently
  • [ ] Almost constantly

Life is a rollercoaster of emotions, but what happens when the ride suddenly comes to a screeching halt? You find yourself stuck in a cycle of lackluster motivation, feeling as though you’re trudging through molasses, and emotionally shut down. Don’t worry, you’re not alone in this journey. In this article, we’ll delve into the world of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and uncover strategies to rekindle your inner fire, leaving you energized and ready to conquer life’s challenges.

Feeling Numb and Shut Down

It’s like life hit the snooze button, and you’re stuck in a gray haze of “meh.” According to a recent study, a whopping 70% of people experience periods of low motivation and emotional numbness at some point in their lives. But fear not, because CBT is here to save the day.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy: A Breath of Fresh Air?

Imagine CBT as a tailor-made mental gym, sculpting your mind into a lean, mean motivation machine. First, we identify those pesky automatic thoughts that fuel your sluggishness. As renowned author Mark Twain once quipped, “The secret of getting ahead is getting started.” Challenge those negative thoughts and watch your motivation gauge inch upward. Find a therapist today that can help you get over your slump that uses Cognitive Behavioral Therapy tools.

Here are some DIY tools you can also use for a revived mood:

The Power of Gratitude and Positive Vibes

Albert Einstein once said, “In the middle of every difficulty lies opportunity.” Combat emotional shutdown by nurturing a gratitude garden. Regularly jot down things you’re grateful for. It’s like watering the flowers of your mind. The more you nurture positivity, the more your emotional landscape will flourish.

Embrace Your Values

To quote Dr. Seuss, “Today you are you, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is youer than you.” Channel your unique self and connect with your core values. Research shows that individuals who align their actions with their values are more motivated and resilient. It’s time to march to the beat of your own drum.

The Art of Small Wins

Haven’t you heard? It’s the era of micro-victories! Research reveals that breaking down goals into bite-sized chunks can boost motivation. Think of it as your own personal “Quest for the Holy Grail.” Celebrate each small victory like a knight slaying dragons, and watch your motivation armor gleam.

The Grand Finale: The Quiz of Motivation

Before you go, we’ve got a treat for you! Take our interactive quiz to gauge your current motivation levels. Are you a Motivation Maverick or a Potential Powerhouse? Use the quiz below to assess your ML (motivation levels).

(Quiz)
What’s your Motivation Quotient?
Answer the following questions to find out:

  1. On a scale of 1 to 10, how motivated do you feel right now?
  • [ ] 1 – Not at all
  • [ ] 5 – Neutral
  • [ ] 10 – Supercharged!
  1. Which activity excites you the most?
  • [ ] Reading a book
  • [ ] Going for a hike
  • [ ] Trying a new recipe
  • [ ] Binge-watching your favorite show
  1. What’s your go-to remedy for a bad day?
  • [ ] A bubble bath and a book
  • [ ] A workout session
  • [ ] Indulging in comfort food
  • [ ] A movie marathon
  1. How often do you find yourself procrastinating?
  • [ ] Rarely
  • [ ] Occasionally
  • [ ] Frequently
  • [ ] All the time

Results:

  • Mostly 1s: Motivation Explorer
  • Mostly 2s: Motivation Trailblazer
  • Mostly 3s: Motivation Dynamo
  • Mostly 4s: Motivation Connoisseur
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6 Tips To Make Fear Your Friend

What makes you afraid? Is it losing someone you love? Or is it having to see your dentist? Maybe you fear thunderstorms or heights or elevators.

Whatever it is, fear is normal. It’s how our body warns us of dangerous situations and that we should be careful.

Yet, sometimes, our fears can become so great that they hold us back from living up to our full potential. They fill us with dread and uncertainty that we soon become constantly stressed and anxious over the smallest things.

Although surprisingly, fear, in its positive form, can actually be good for us. It can inspire innovative ideas and motivate us to reach new heights.

So, we’re here today to help you make fear your friend. Follow the six tips below, and you’ll know how to turn what was once your foe into an ally.

Let’s get started.

  1. Identify the Source

This is probably the hardest step, but it’s absolutely worth it. But first, you need to come to terms with the source of your fear in order to overcome it.

Being aware of the root cause will be difficult in the beginning, but it’ll make you stronger. You’ll no longer live in the shadow of that big, insurmountable fear.

  1. Embrace It

You’ve come face-to-face with your fear. Now, it’s time to embrace it.

But before you do that, you have to actually admit that such-and-such scares you. There are several ways to do this. First, you can either say it aloud, preferably to someone else in a natural setting.

You can also write it down in a journal or diary. The point is to get it out of your head and into real life. That’s when your fear loses its control over you.

It also feels better to get it off your chest and share it with the world. You’ll be surprised to know just how many people are just as afraid as you are.

  1. Think Rationally

Fear makes us panic, and panic makes us do stupid things. In fact, studies show that when we panic, our prefrontal cortex shuts down. This is the region of our brain responsible for rational thinking.

So, case in point, learn how to think rationally despite your worries and panic. Make fear your friend, and you’ll be able to go a lot farther in life.

  1. Take Stock

People deal with fear, stress, and anxiety in different ways. Some people like to be challenged and are great under pressure. Others find it better to work at their own pace without any tight deadlines looming overhead.

Whichever way you prefer, the important thing is not to let fear get the better of you. For example, say you’re afraid to speak in public. But then a colleague suddenly got sick and asked you to take over the presentation you’ve been preparing for weeks.

In this scenario, you have to pick whether you’ll let your fear overpower you or whether you’ll rise to the challenge.

The latter won’t be easy, but it’ll definitely be worth it in the long run. Be objective and tell yourself that others have held presentations before and have lived to tell about it. So, what’s the big deal?

Remember, your mind tends to blow things out of proportion. So, find a way to deal with the stress and take stock. It’s the only way you’ll be able to harness your fear and get the job done.

  1. Find Support

No one ever failed by having a strong support system. Surround yourself with people who encourage you to do better. These are the people who listen to you when you’re venting about your fears and anxiety, and they still choose to love you unconditionally.

A lot of research has been carried out on the benefits of having a support system. It empowers you with good coping skills while boosting your self-esteem and overall well-being.

Moreover, a sound support system can lower stress, anxiety, and depression rates. 

  1. Be Positive

Whenever you’re afraid, you’ll tend to focus on negative thoughts and emotions. But then, they fester in your mind and transform into this big, ugly thing that you can no longer control.

Why not try some positivity for a change? Remember, the mind is quite powerful; it just needs a small push in the right direction.

By thinking positively, you can overcome your fears and actually live to tell the tale! All you have to do is believe it, and everything else will fall into place.

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Releasing Regrets

“Long ago I wished to leave

‘The house where I was born;’

Long ago I used to grieve,

My home seemed so forlorn.

In other years, its silent rooms

Were filled with haunting fears;

Now, their very memory comes

O’ercharged with tender tears…”

A Poem by charlotte bronte

Regret is looking back at our past with distress and sorrowful longing. We grieve over past actions done to us or that we did to others. We WISH it didn’t happen or that we could do it over again. Of course, we can’t, but regret keeps us stuck in the past filled with pain. 

Letting go is the process of getting unstuck and moving on in life. How we metabolize pain, in this process, is different for every person and every situation. However, you can give various forms of releasing regret a try and learn about yourself in the process.

Practice Daily Gratitude

Practicing daily gratitude is a great way to remind yourself of all that you have consistently. Family, friends, a home, food to eat, maybe even a cute puppy to come home to. Whatever your gratitude is toward, reminding yourself of it is a great way to reflect on the good in your life and make the regrets seem less important in the grand scheme of life. 

A practical application of gratitude is to use a scientifically studied exercise called 5-3-1. Every morning spend 5 minutes quieting your mind and getting grounded, write 3 things you are grateful for and do one act of kindness for someone else. 

Trust the Journey

Reminding yourself that even the adverse events in life are part of a more significant journey allows you to see the larger picture. Yes, you regret this one mistake. But, did that one mistake lead you down a different path that had good outcomes? Everything happens for a reason. Trust that in time you will find out why that mistake or loss occurred.

Having an optimistic viewpoint, however ridiculous it might seem at the moment, is helpful to unlock your thoughts and allow hope to enter them. 

Learn to Release Emotions

Emotions in the grand scheme of life (once again; are you seeing the bigger picture yet?) are fleeting. Learning to release your feelings when they are not serving you will aid you now and in the future. Stop beating yourself up for something that happened in the past and learn to move on with a clear mind and focus.

Give voice to your feelings with a good friend or therapist. Learn to journal daily. Stop being afraid of your own feelings states and allow your nervous system to regulate. 

Accept the Lesson Learned

Situations or actions we regret typically offer us a lesson—if we are open to learning it. Accept that you learned a lesson and move on with it. Living through a challenging event means nothing if you don’t continue living and implement what you learned into your future life.

Nelson Mandala is famous for saying: “I never fail. I either win, or I learn.” Keeping this perspective will guard the tender-hearted. 

“What If-ing” the past Doesn’t Change the Future.

You are living in the land of “what ifs” is tempting. However, “what ifs” literally mean nothing in the practice of daily life. You can spend hours or even days guessing at a different outcome, but it doesn’t matter. Those what-ifs will never directly impact your future other than to steal from it. 

Living in the past traumatizes your present all over again. A vicious cycle continues to whirl, adding shame and fear to your life. Staying focused on the now allows you to live healthy again. 

Try this simple present-focused tool called “seeing red.” When you start to slip down the slope or regret, look for something red and focus on its shade, texture, smell, etc. Look for another red object and do the same. Repeat this until you feel more settled in the now. 

If you would like Ron Huxley to help you overcome regret and move past old pain and trauma, contact him today or schedule a session by clicking here. 

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What is Anxiety and How to Manage Pandemic Uncertainty

In this first video of five total video series on Building Family Resiliency we talk about how to manage anxiety in a time of uncertainty. Learn powerful tools that will help you and your children find freedom from anxious thoughts. Discover bodily-based strategies that don’t require lecture, rationalization, or complex ideas to bring peace to your life.

Get more free tools at FamilyHealer.tv or schedule a time to talk to Ron today!

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Knowing our stories…

“Once upon a time, a small bird flew into a tree and saw a crown hanging from a branch. At the bottom of that tree was a boy with a drum who asked the bird…” How would you finish this story?

This is a game that I often play with families in my therapy sessions with them. Each person gets to pick out a small item from a red velvet bag and come up with a piece of the story. The imagination continues round and round, chapter after chapter, until we come to a final end of the story.

The activity is fun and insightful. It provides a metaphor for the stories families have around their own traumatic losses. Even when bad things happened, that were outside of our control, we can narrate our present reality and write new chapters and have happier endings.

Recently, I taught a workshop on Adoption and Permanency skills to social workers and therapists. In this workshop we discussed how to tell the adoption story even when it is sometimes very shocking or socially taboo. One of the hallmarks of telling this story is that parents “hold” the story but they don’t “own” it. This is the child’s story. A parents goal is to tell all there is to be told (and sometimes there isn’t a lot known) by the time the child leaves the home and the child has to understand what is being told.

The story has to be told over and over again; essentially recycled over time, to account for the changing development. A child who is 5 has very different level of understanding than the child who is 12 or 16 or 20, etc. Each new telling unfolds greater revelation and insight. Each developmental period allows for more social awareness and shifting of identity. This may result in more grieving too. A child who is 5 may not show a lot of sadness over their story. Developmentally, this would be appropriate. A child is who 16 may have a lot of sadness or anger. This would be developmentally appropriate for him or her.

Every one has a story. It may have fun parts and yucky parts. It may be full of loss or full of adventure. The important thing to keep in mind is that our story is out story. We get to own it and when we do, we get to participate in its on-going authorship.

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National Recovery Month

National Recovery Month (Recovery Month), sponsored by the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA), is a national observance held every September to educate Americans that substance use treatment and mental health services can enable those with mental and substance use disorders to live healthy and rewarding lives. This observance celebrates the millions of Americans who are in recovery from mental and substance use disorders, reminding us that treatment is effective and that people can and do recover. It also serves to help reduce the stigma and misconceptions that cloud public understanding of mental and substance use disorders, potentially discouraging others from seeking help.

Now in its 30th year, Recovery Month celebrates the gains made by those in recovery, just as we celebrate improvements made by those who are managing other health conditions such as hypertension, diabetes, asthma, and heart disease.

Recovery Month works to promote and support new evidence-based treatment and recovery practices, the emergence of a strong and proud recovery community, and the dedication of service providers and community members across the nation who make recovery in all its forms possible.

As part of the 30th anniversary, Recovery Month is introducing a new logo that signifies the true meaning and values of the Recovery Month observance. The new Recovery Month logo features an “r” symbol; representing r is for Recovery and the need to support the millions of individuals who are proudly living their lives in recovery, as well as their family members and loved ones.

Each September, tens of thousands of prevention, treatment, and recovery programs and facilities around the country celebrate Recovery Month. They speak about the gains made by those in recovery and share their success stories with their neighbors, friends, and colleagues. In doing so, everyone helps to increase awareness and furthers a greater understanding about the diseases of mental and substance use disorders.

Recovery Month also highlights the achievements of individuals who have reclaimed their lives in long-term recovery and honors the treatment and recovery service providers who make recovery possible. Recovery Month also promotes the message that recovery in all of its forms is possible and encourages citizens to take action to help expand and improve the availability of effective prevention, treatment, and recovery services for those in need.

Each year, Recovery Month selects a new focus and theme to spread the message and share the successes of treatment and recovery. The 2019 Recovery Month observance will focus on community members, first responders, the healthcare community, and youth and emerging leaders highlighting the various entities that support recovery within our society.

The 2019 Recovery Month theme, “Join the Voices for Recovery: Together We Are Stronger,” emphasizes the need to share resources and build networks across the country to support recovery. It reminds us that mental and substance use disorders affect us all, and that we are all part of the solution. The observance will highlight inspiring stories to help thousands of people from all walks of life find the path to hope, health, and personal growth. Learn more about this year’s and past year themes.

SAMHSA creates a Recovery Month toolkit to help individuals and organizations plan events and activities to increase awareness about mental and substance use disorders, treatment and recovery. The kit provides media outreach templates, tips for event planning and community outreach, audience-specific information and data on behavioral health conditions, and resources for prevention, treatment, and recovery support services. These resources help local communities reach out and encourage individuals in need of services, and their friends and families, to seek treatment and recovery services and information. Materials include SAMHSA’s National Helpline 1-800-662 HELP (4357) for 24-hour, free, and confidential information and treatment referral as well as other SAMHSA resources for locating services.

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“Sticks and Stones: The Power of Affirmative Adoption Words”

The phrase “sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me” is a childish idea that isn’t really true. It is a saying that is designed to be a reply to an insult or ward off bullying and discrimination. Adoptive families know the pain that comes from social stigma and stereotypes that surround adoption. The reality is that words do hurt but they can also heal.

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af·firm·a·tions

ˌafərˈmāSH(ə)n/

1. the action or process of affirming something or being affirmed.
2. emotional support or encouragement.

Affirmative Adoption Words: to “affirm” is to state that something is true. It is a “higher truth” that helps us be who we were designed to be; face adversities, and aspire to be the best we can be.

The repetition of affirmative words can change habit patterns and attitudes. It isn’t just positive thinking. That implies there is no work involved or no struggle. Affirmations place ourselves into alignment with the best version of ourselves.

The best affirmations start with “I am…” This makes it real and authentic. It establishes our identity based on what we choose to be versus what others say we are or are not.

Affirmations cause us to take responsibility. It voices the belief that I am aware of something that needs to be changed and that I can and will do something about it. We are not victims. We are agents of change and healing to our families.

Beliefs are habitual patterns of thinking. They are often the result of our past experiences and contain old survival ideas that may no longer be needed. If we learned how to survive, we can unlearn any unhealthy patterns, and re-learn new, more powerful ways to think.

List 5 positive “I am…” affirmations:

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

Positive Adoption Language

The way we talk — and the words we choose — say a lot about what we think and value. When we use positive adoption language, we say that adoption is a way to build a family — just as birth is. Both are important, and neither is more important than the other.

Choose the following, positive adoption language instead of the negative talk that helps perpetuate the myth that adoption is second best. By using positive adoption language, you will reflect the true nature of adoption, free of innuendo.

 

Positive Language

Negative Language

Birth Parent

Real Parent

Biological Parent

Natural Parent

Birth Child

Own Child

My Child

Adopted Child; Own Child

Born to Unmarried Parents

Illegitimate

Terminate Parental Rights

Give Up

Make an Adoption Plan

Take Away

To Parent

To Keep

Waiting Child

Adoptable Child; Available Child

Birth Father; Biological Father

Begettor

Making Contact With

Reunion

Parent

Adoptive Parent

International Adoption

Foreign Adoption

Adoption Triad

Adoption Triangle

Permission to Sign a Release

Disclosure

Search

Track Down Parents

Child Placed for Adoption

An Unwanted Child

Court Termination

Child Taken Away

A child with Special Needs

Handicapped Child

Child from Abroad

Foreign Child

Was Adopted

Is Adopted

* Source: https://www.adoptivefamilies.com/talking-about- adoption/positive-adoption-language/