10 Adlerian Parenting Tips for Children Who Have Experienced Trauma or Abuse

Adlerian parenting is based on the philosophy of Alfred Adler, an Austrian psychiatrist and founder of Adlerian psychology. Adler believed that human behavior is motivated by a desire for belonging, significance, and social connection. Adlerian parenting promotes a child’s competence and self-esteem while encouraging social responsibility and respect for others.

Adlerian parenting emphasizes creating a warm, nurturing, and cheerful home environment where children feel valued loved and supported. Adlerian parents strive to provide opportunities for their children to develop independence, social interest, and positive self-esteem while fostering a sense of community and social responsibility.

Adlerian parenting is based on encouragement, respect, and mutual trust between parents and children. Adlerian parents seek to understand their child’s perspective and feelings while setting clear boundaries and expectations for behavior. Adlerian parenting also emphasizes the importance of positive discipline strategies that focus on teaching appropriate behavior and promoting self-regulation rather than using punishment or harsh discipline.
Overall, the philosophy of Adlerian parenting is focused on promoting a child’s sense of belonging, significance, and social interest while encouraging positive behavior, social responsibility, and respect for others.

1. Provide a safe and stable environment: Children who have experienced trauma, abuse, or toxic stress need a sense of safety and stability. Create routines, set boundaries, and provide a secure home environment.
2. Encourage healing through positive reinforcement: Praise your child’s effort and progress towards healing rather than just their achievements. This fosters a sense of resilience and self-worth.
3. Focus on building trust: Children who have experienced trauma, abuse, or toxic stress often struggle to trust others. Take the time to listen to your child and validate their feelings, which can help rebuild trust.
4. Use positive discipline strategies: Instead of punishment or harsh discipline, use positive methods that teach appropriate behavior and promote self-regulation.
5. Foster a sense of community: Encourage your child to be involved in positive community activities and develop positive relationships with peers. This helps them feel supported and less isolated.
6. Provide opportunities for choice and control: Children who have experienced trauma, abuse, or toxic stress may feel powerless. Providing options and opportunities for power can help build their self-esteem and sense of agency.
7. Use trauma-informed parenting techniques: Learn about techniques and strategies, such as sensory regulation, grounding exercises, and mindfulness, that can help children who have experienced trauma, abuse, or toxic stress.
8. Model healthy coping strategies: Children learn by example, so model healthy coping strategies and positive self-care behaviors, such as deep breathing, mindfulness, and exercise.
9. Provide opportunities for play and creative expression: Play and creative expression can help children process and heal from trauma, abuse, or toxic stress. Provide opportunities for imaginative play, art, and other forms of creative expression.
10. Seek professional support: Children who have experienced trauma, abuse, or toxic stress may benefit from professional support. Consider seeking therapy, counseling, or other support services to help your child heal and thrive.

Contact Ron Huxley, LMFT, to schedule a session if you need support on parenting tips and tools.