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Unlocking Your Parenting Potential: 15 Questions to Guide Your Journey

Parenting is one of the most rewarding yet challenging roles you can take on. As parents, we often find ourselves navigating a maze of emotions, expectations, and responsibilities. It’s essential to take a step back and show on our parenting practices. This helps us become the best version of ourselves for our children. Here are 15 thought-provoking questions. They are designed to help you unlock your parenting potential. They will foster a nurturing environment for your family.

1. What are my core values as a parent?

Understanding your values can guide your decisions and actions. Reflect on what principles are most important to you. Principles may include respect, honesty, or kindness. Consider how you can instill these in your children.

2. How do I respond to my child’s emotions?

Consider how you react when your child expresses feelings like anger, sadness, or frustration. Are you supportive and understanding, or do you dismiss their emotions? Your response shapes their emotional intelligence.

3. What are my child’s unique strengths and weaknesses?

Every child is different. Take time to observe and appreciate what makes your child special. Think about how you can nurture their strengths. Support them through their challenges.

4. How do I handle stress and frustration?

Your emotional state affects your parenting. Reflect on your coping mechanisms and consider healthier strategies to manage stress, ensuring you model resilience for your child.

5. Am I setting realistic expectations for my child?

Evaluate whether your expectations align with your child’s age and developmental stage. Unrealistic expectations can lead to disappointment for both you and your child.

6. How do I communicate with my child?

Consider the effectiveness of your communication style. Are you actively listening? Do you encourage open dialogue? Effective communication fosters trust and strengthens your relationship.

7. What routines or traditions do we have as a family?

Family routines and traditions create a sense of belonging and stability. Reflect on what practices you cherish and how they contribute to your family’s identity.

8. How do I balance discipline with love?

Discipline is essential, but it should be balanced with love and understanding. Reflect on your disciplinary methods and consider how they can promote learning rather than fear.

9. What role does technology play in our family life?

In today’s digital age, it’s crucial to assess how technology impacts your family dynamics. Reflect on screen time limits, online safety, and how technology can be used positively.

10. How do I encourage my child’s independence?

Fostering independence helps children build confidence and decision-making skills. Reflect on how you can provide opportunities for your child to take on responsibilities appropriate for their age.

11. How do I express love and affection?

Consider the ways you show love to your child. Are you verbal in your affirmations, or do you express love through actions? Consistent affection strengthens your bond.

12. What are my child’s interests and passions?

Take time to discover what excites your child. Supporting their interests not only nurtures their talents but also strengthens your connection.

13. How do I involve my child in family decisions?

Involving your child in age-appropriate decisions fosters a sense of ownership and responsibility. Reflect on how you can include them in discussions about family activities or rules.

14. What are my parenting goals for the next year?

Setting specific, achievable goals can help you focus your efforts. Think about what you’d like to do as a parent in the coming year. It can be improving communication. It can also be spending more quality time together.

15. How do I take care of myself as a parent?

Self-care is vital for effective parenting. Reflect on how you prioritize your well-being. Consider ways to carve out time for yourself. This ensures you have the energy and patience to support your child.

Reflecting on these questions can illuminate areas for growth and improvement in your parenting journey. Remember, there’s no perfect parent. By taking the time to show, you can cultivate a nurturing environment. This environment allows both you and your child to thrive. Embrace this journey of self-discovery, and watch as your family flourishes together!

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The Stubborn Heart!

Stubbornness can stem from various factors such as personality traits, past experiences, fear of vulnerability, or a need for control. Here’s an explanation of stubbornness, the reasons behind it, and strategies to shift out of stubborn behaviors:

Understanding Stubbornness:

  • Definition: Stubbornness refers to a firm, inflexible adherence to one’s ideas, opinions, or decisions, often resisting change or outside influence.

Reasons Behind Stubbornness:

Shifting Out of Stubbornness:

  • Practice Empathy: Encourage the individual to practice empathy by trying to understand others’ perspectives and feelings. Empathy can foster openness to different viewpoints and reduce defensiveness.
  • Flexibility and Adaptability: Help the individual cultivate a mindset of flexibility and adaptability. Emphasize the benefits of being open to change and willing to consider alternative solutions.
  • Active Listening: Teach active listening skills to enhance communication and foster understanding. Encourage the individual to listen attentively to others without immediately jumping to defend their position.
  • Seek Compromise: Emphasize the value of compromise and collaboration in relationships and decision-making. Encourage the individual to find common ground and work together towards mutually beneficial solutions.
  • Self-Reflection: Encourage self-reflection to explore the reasons behind their stubbornness. By understanding the underlying motivations for their behavior, they can begin to address and challenge them.
  • Mindfulness Practices: Suggest mindfulness techniques to help individuals become more aware of their thoughts, emotions, and reactions. Mindfulness can promote self-awareness and impulse control, reducing stubborn tendencies.
  • Therapy or Counseling: Consider recommending therapy or counseling to explore deeper issues contributing to stubbornness and develop healthier coping strategies. A mental health professional can provide support and guidance in shifting stubborn behaviors.

By addressing the root causes of stubbornness, practicing empathy and flexibility, and seeking professional support, individuals can gradually shift out of stubborn behaviors and cultivate more open-mindedness and adaptability in their interactions and decision-making processes.

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When Your Children Are Hurt By Other Children

As parents, it can be difficult to see our children experience hurt feelings, especially when it comes from their friendships. Whether it’s a disagreement with a friend, feeling left out, or experiencing betrayal, children can be deeply affected by these emotional challenges. However, there are several ways parents can support their children through these difficult times and help them healthily navigate their emotions.

1. Encourage open communication:

  • Create a safe and welcoming environment for your child to express their feelings. Let them know that it’s okay to feel hurt and that you are there to listen without judgment.

2. Validate their feelings:

  • Acknowledge and validate your child’s emotions. Let them know that it’s normal to feel hurt and that their feelings are important.

3. Offer empathy and understanding:

  • Show empathy by putting yourself in your child’s shoes and understanding the situation from their perspective. This can help your child feel heard and supported.

4. Help them identify their emotions:

  • Guide your child in identifying and understanding their emotions. Encourage them to express how they feel and help them label their emotions, such as sadness, anger, or disappointment.

5. Teach problem-solving skills:

  • Help your child brainstorm possible solutions to the situation that caused their hurt feelings. Encourage them to think of ways to resolve the issue or improve the friendship.

6. Foster resiliency:

  • Teach your child that experiencing setbacks in friendships is a normal part of life and that they have the strength to bounce back from these challenges. Encourage them to see the situation as an opportunity for growth.

7. Encourage healthy coping mechanisms:

  • Guide your child in using healthy coping strategies, such as engaging in enjoyable activities, spending time with supportive friends, or practicing mindfulness and relaxation techniques.

8. Role model healthy communication and conflict resolution:

  • Demonstrate positive communication and conflict resolution skills in your own interactions. Children often learn by example, and seeing healthy conflict management at home can have a positive impact on their own behavior.

9. Support their social skills development:

  • Help your child develop their social skills by teaching them about empathy, active listening, and the importance of respecting others’ feelings and boundaries.

10. Seek professional help if needed:

  • If your child’s hurt feelings persist or significantly impact their well-being, consider seeking the help of a mental health professional who specializes in working with children.

By providing a supportive and nurturing environment, parents can play a crucial role in helping their children navigate the complex terrain of friendships and hurt feelings. Through open communication, empathy, and guidance, parents can empower their children to develop resilience and healthy coping skills, ultimately helping them build strong and fulfilling relationships in the future. Remember that every child is unique, and it’s important to tailor your approach to your child’s individual needs and temperament.

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Building Confidence in Children: Nurturing Self-Assurance and Resilience


Building confidence in children is vital for their overall development and success in life. As parents, we play a crucial role in fostering their self-assurance and resilience. Confidence empowers children to face challenges, make positive choices, and believe in their abilities. Here are some effective strategies to help your child build confidence:

Encourage and Celebrate Efforts:
One of the key ways to build confidence is to acknowledge and appreciate your child’s efforts, regardless of the outcome. Focus on their hard work, determination, and progress rather than solely on results. Celebrate their achievements, big or small, to reinforce their self-belief and motivate them to keep trying.

Provide a Safe and Supportive Environment:
Create a nurturing environment where your child feels safe to express themselves without fear of judgment or criticism. Encourage open communication, active listening, and empathy. Show unconditional love and support, allowing them to explore their interests and passions with confidence.

Set Realistic Goals:
Help your child set realistic and achievable goals. Break larger goals into smaller, manageable steps. This approach allows them to experience success along the way, boosting their confidence. Guide them in creating a plan and provide guidance and encouragement as they work towards their objectives.

Encourage Problem-Solving:
Foster problem-solving skills by allowing your child to face challenges independently. Avoid immediately providing solutions. Instead, encourage them to brainstorm ideas and think critically. When they find their own solutions, they gain confidence in their abilities to tackle difficult situations.

Support Healthy Risk-Taking:
Encourage your child to step out of their comfort zone and try new things. Support them in taking age-appropriate risks, whether it’s trying a new sport, pursuing a hobby, or participating in a school activity. Even if they encounter setbacks or failures, emphasize the value of learning from these experiences and trying again.

Teach Positive Self-Talk:
Help your child develop a positive inner voice by teaching them to replace negative self-talk with positive affirmations. Encourage them to focus on their strengths, acknowledge their efforts, and believe in their capabilities. This practice cultivates resilience and self-confidence.

Foster Independence:
Allow your child to take on age-appropriate responsibilities and make decisions. This fosters a sense of competence and independence. Encourage them to handle tasks on their own, such as organizing their belongings, completing homework, or managing a personal project. Provide guidance and support, but allow them the freedom to learn and grow.

Promote Social Skills:
Building healthy relationships is crucial for confidence. Encourage your child to interact with peers, join group activities, and participate in team projects. Engaging in social situations helps develop interpersonal skills, empathy, and self-assurance. Provide opportunities for them to practice communication, collaboration, and conflict resolution.

Model Confidence:
Children often learn by observing their parents and caregivers. Model confidence in your own actions and behaviors. Demonstrate resilience when facing challenges, pursue your own interests, and embrace self-improvement. Be a positive role model, showing them that confidence is built through continuous effort and self-belief.

Cultivate a Growth Mindset:
Encourage a growth mindset in your child by emphasizing that abilities can be developed through effort and practice. Teach them to view failures as learning opportunities and to persevere in the face of obstacles. Emphasize the importance of effort, learning, and personal growth over fixed outcomes.

Building confidence in children is a lifelong journey that requires patience, support, and encouragement. By implementing these strategies, parents can help their children develop a strong sense of self-assurance, resilience, and belief in their abilities. Remember, every child is unique, so tailor these approaches to suit their individual needs, interests, and strengths. Together, let’s empower our children to become confident individuals who can face life’s challenges with determination and resilience.

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Want to reduce stress? Get some sleep

If you don’t get the right amount of sleep, your mind cannot be at its best. You won’t function properly and may make some serious mistakes. Unfortunately, stress can cause people to stay awake at night. However, getting the right amount of sleep can help eventually reduce your stress levels.

To get better sleep, start exercising on a regular basis. While exercise may give you energy throughout the day, when you go to bed at night, it will help you to sleep better. You will have a quality sleep as well. Some people find that exercising in the evening causes them to be wired, and they can’t get to sleep. If you fall into this camp of people, consider doing your exercising in the morning. This way, you’ll use that energy burst throughout the day and will give you time to become tired.

Try to avoid using alcohol in excess. Although this seems counterintuitive as alcohol makes you sleepy, it causes you to fall into a deep sleep. You then wake up in the middle of the night and have a difficult time getting back to sleep. Without the alcohol, your sleep will be more even and allow you to sleep throughout the night. If you feel you must have alcohol, don’t have more than one drink.

See a doctor if you have sleeping problems that persist. Not getting enough sleep can lead to a decline in your health. Sleep recharges the body and allows it to function properly, including building up antibodies to fight off diseases. When you are deprived of sleep, a bunch of problems can arise because of it.

Hopefully, if you do resort to seeing a doctor, he will find solutions that are not drug-dependent. This may help your sleep problems in the short term but doesn’t do much to fix the reason why you are not getting sleep. Press your doctor for alternative solutions if drugs are being prescribed.

Consider learning meditation as that can relax the mind. It’s much easier to get good sleep when the mind is relaxed than when it is thinking about all the problems you are facing. Meditation won’t solve those problems. But, getting to sleep can help you to come up with solutions faster.

Eating at the proper times during the day and eating the right kinds of foods, can help you to sleep better at night, as well. If you have a heavy meal right before you are going to bed, you could suffer from indigestion, which will not lead to a good sleep at all.

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May is Mental Health Awareness Month

This past year presented so many different challenges and obstacles that tested our strength and resiliency. The global pandemic forced us to cope with situations we never even imagined, and a lot of us struggled with our mental health as a result. The good news is that there are tools and resources available that can support the well-being of individuals and communities.


Now, more than ever, we need to combat the stigma surrounding mental health concerns. That’s why this Mental Health Month Ron Huxley is highlighting the TraumaToolbox.com- what individuals can do throughout their daily lives to prioritize mental health, build resiliency, and continue to cope with the obstacles of COVID-19.


Throughout the pandemic, many people who had never experienced mental health challenges found themselves struggling for the first time. During the month of May, we are focusing on different topics that can help process the events of the past year and the feelings that surround them, while also building up skills and supports that extend beyond COVID-19.


We know that the past year forced many to accept tough situations that they had little to no control over. If you found that it impacted your mental health, you aren’t alone. In fact, of the almost half a million individuals that took the anxiety screening at MHAscreening.org, 79% showed symptoms of moderate to severe anxiety. However, there are practical tools that can help improve your mental health. We are focused on managing anger and frustration, recognizing when trauma may be affecting your mental health, challenging negative thinking patterns, and making time to take care of yourself.


It’s important to remember that working on your mental health and finding tools that help you thrive takes time. Change won’t happen overnight. Instead, by focusing on small changes, you can move through the stressors of the past year and develop long-term strategies to support yourself on an ongoing basis.


A great starting point for anyone who is ready to start prioritizing their mental health is to take a mental health screening at MHAscreening.org. It’s a quick, free, and confidential way for someone to assess their mental health and begin finding hope and healing.
Ultimately, during this month of May, Ron Huxley wants to remind everyone that mental illnesses are real, and recovery is possible.

Check out the many mental health tools create free at the TraumaToolbox.com.

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Is Parent Coaching Right For You?

A parent coach is a professional who helps parents cultivate better relationships with their children. A coach provides insight, education, and direction that is concrete and practical. Although similar to therapy, coaching focuses more on short-term plans than processing emotions or working through past traumas. It doesn’t mean that parent coaching can’t provide this type of processing, but it is not its primary focus. 

Parenting coaches help in a variety of ways: 

  1. Behavioral problems help parents find strength-based ways to address children’s challenges, such as sibling rivalry, defiance, talking back, aggression, running away, meltdowns, and more. 
  2. Parenting self-care, managing adult stressors, and find balance in work, family, and social life. 
  3. Cope with transitions and crises that occur in life and the world. With all of its effects on schooling, work, and isolation, our current pandemic is a common crisis all parents must learn to manage.  
  4. Developmental and emotional concerns in children need expert insight and detailed plans when depression, anxiety, or delays present themselves. 

Any family structure can utilize parent coaching. The traditional family of yesterday is the nontraditional of today. It can include two parents families, divorced parents, single parents, grandparents raising grandchildren, foster and adoptive parenting, same-sex parents, and multigenerational families. 

Coaches typically have a master’s degree or higher in education or family counseling or completed a parent coaching certification. They should have experience in the specific area of specialty, such as aggressive teenagers or adoption. 

Coaching sessions are usually briefer than traditional therapy with 1 to 5 sessions. Each session has a specific outcome with homework to test “in the field” and then feedback and further revision until a parent feels change is happening. 

Ron Huxley is a licensed marriage and family therapist with 30 years of experience in parenting, family therapy, and specialized clinical issues, such as anxiety and trauma. He has served as the director of several clinical programs that utilized a coaching model. He is the author of the book “Love and Limits: Achieving a Balance in Parenting” and founder of the FamilyHealer.tv online school. You can set up a coaching or therapy appointment with him now. Just click here to schedule a time.

Ron also provides online and in-person training on a variety of parent, anxiety, and trauma-informed issues. Click here for more training information.

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W.O.R.K. With Your Teen’s Brain

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A particular area of interest for me is the teenage brain. It is one of the most rapidly changing periods of brain development. This is no surprise to parents who are trying to understand the rapidly changing personality of the teenager.

Perhaps the most dramatic area of development is the area called the prefrontal orbital brain. It is called this because it sits directly behind our eyeballs and it is responsible for abstract thought, moral reasoning, self-control, planning, judgment and so many other areas commonly associated with adults. This area is in constant flux, causing radical shifts in mood and attitude. This formation and reformation of the brain continue into young adulthood (the mid-20’s). I often joke with parents that while their child has the hardware upgrade, the software has not yet been installed. This is why the teen is capable of getting pregnant, driving a car or doing algebra but they don’t mean that they are completely ready for the adult world of intense responsibility or raising a family.

This poses significant challenges to parents who want to navigate the raging waters of adolescence, therefore, I am going to list four basic reminders to help parents stay sane when their child actions appear insane. I am using the acronym WORK to guide parents:

W = Remember that your child is still “wondering” about how the world works. He or she might try to convince you that they already know how it does but they don’t. They haven’t had enough experience yet for this to be possible. They need you to help them by asking “what if” questions that will explain some cause and effect relationship and assist them in planning out their day and making better judgments. Because their brain is still developing they use their “will” to fight you and cover up their inexperience. Don’t shame them. Train the “will” to find positive rewards in daily interactions. “Wait” for them to get it. It will take them longer than you as they haven’t traveled some of these morally sticky situations in life yet. Allow them a little more time to “wake” up to a new world of responsibilities and schedules.

O = Be “open” to “opportunities” for your teenage child to share some wisdom about the world and how to survive in it. Don’t preach at them as this will shut them down completely. “Occupy” the same space and look for openings when you are both in a good mood. The relational approach will be more effective and allow more “objective” conversation between you. Remember that “obedience” at this age is really about natural consequences or trial and error for the teenager. The will learn more about doing then lecturing. Being a good role model will help them understand how to use the “operators” manual called their brain more than lots of words at this time of life.

R = “Relationship” is one of the toughest things to have with the teen but one of the most important tasks a parent can do for their child. You may only have a split-second when the door is open wide enough to have that former intimacy but use it when you can. It will pay huge ‘rewards” for both of you later in life. “Recognize” that the teen is in process. They are still not fully cooked and need more time in the oven of life before they can be expected to make better decisions. They will “reflect” their peers and “respond” more from other inexperienced teenagers over their own, more experienced parents. This is not a true sign of his “respect” or “rejection.” The teen is just trying to find their own way. Don’t take this personal. “Rebelliousness” is the other side of the “readiness” coin of maturity.

K = Be “kind” to your teen as they developmentally, socially, emotionally, physically and spiritually. Turn the proverbial other cheek and smile when they growl. Reach out again when they slap away your hand. The “key” to relating to the teenager is a long-term vision. This isn’t just about today. It is about the next 10, 20, 30, 40 years of your life together. The cold response you get from that teen-child today will “kindle” into a stronger fire connection later in life. Work with that end in mind. Keep in mind this is your “kin.” They may be more like you than you care to admit. They share your nature and your nurture and need your “kudo’s” for every positive effort and the end result you can give.

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Family Meetings

family meetings for parenting success

A family meeting gives every member of the family a chance to express himself freely in all matters of both difficulty and pleasure pertaining to the family. The emphasis should be on “What we can do about the situation.” Meet regularly at the same time each week. Rotate the leader. Keep minutes. Have an equal vote for each member. Only bring those concerns to the family meeting, which are negotiable. Require a consensus, rather than a majority vote on each decision. Some family rules are non-negotiable. Perhaps explanations or reinforcement of a rule would be appropriate.

Have fun together and thereby help to develop a relationship based on enjoyment, mutual respect, love and affection, mutual confidence and trust, and a feeling of belonging. Instead of talking to nag, scold, preach, and correct, utilize talking to maintain a friendly relationship. Speak to your child with the same respect and consideration that you would express to a good friend.