Posted on

“Doing The Best I Can”: A Healthy Reframe for Overwhelm and Negativity

When life feels complicated, and challenges seem insurmountable, it’s easy to fall into negative thinking and self-criticism patterns. However, adopting the “Doing The Best I Can” mindset can be a powerful reframe to combat these feelings and foster self-compassion. Here’s how this simple phrase can transform your perspective:

Acknowledging Your Efforts

“Doing The Best I Can” recognizes that you’re putting forth effort, even when outcomes aren’t perfect. This acknowledgment is crucial because:

  1. It shifts focus from results to process
  2. It validates your struggles and challenges
  3. It reminds you that perfection isn’t the goal

Embracing Imperfection

This reframe helps you accept that perfection is unattainable. Instead of berating yourself for falling short of impossible standards, you can:

  • Recognize that everyone has limitations
  • Appreciate progress, no matter how small
  • View mistakes as opportunities for growth

Cultivating Self-Compassion

By telling yourself you’re doing your best, you’re practicing self-compassion. This approach:

  • Reduces self-criticism and negative self-talk
  • Increases resilience in the face of setbacks
  • Improves overall mental well-being

Recognizing Context

“Doing The Best I Can” takes into account your current circumstances. It acknowledges that:

  • Your best may vary from day to day
  • External factors can impact your capabilities
  • You’re working with the resources available to you

Promoting Growth Mindset

This reframe encourages a growth mindset by:

  • Focusing on effort rather than innate ability
  • Viewing challenges as opportunities to learn and improve
  • Encouraging persistence in the face of difficulties

Practical Application

To incorporate this reframe into your daily life:

  1. Notice negative self-talk and consciously replace it with “I’m doing the best I can.”
  2. Reflect on your efforts at the end of each day, acknowledging your hard work.
  3. Practice self-compassion exercises when feeling overwhelmed
  4. Share this perspective with others to create a supportive environment

Remember, “Doing The Best I Can” doesn’t mean settling for less or making excuses. Instead, it’s about recognizing your efforts, accepting your limitations, and maintaining a compassionate attitude toward yourself as you navigate life’s complexities.

By adopting this reframe, you can reduce feelings of overwhelm, combat negative thinking, and approach challenges with a more balanced and kind perspective. It’s a simple yet powerful tool for fostering resilience and maintaining emotional well-being in life’s inevitable ups and downs.

Posted on

Reflecting on Your Beliefs for Personal Growth

In our journey towards personal growth and self-improvement, understanding our beliefs plays a crucial role. Our beliefs shape how we perceive the world, ourselves, and our potential. By identifying and reflecting on our beliefs, we can uncover deep-seated patterns that may be holding us back and cultivate a mindset that propels us forward. Here are some key questions and practical ways to reflect on your beliefs for personal growth:

Questions to Identify Core Beliefs:

  1. What beliefs do I hold about myself?
  2. How do I view my abilities and skills?
  3. What beliefs do I have about relationships?
  4. How do I perceive failure and setbacks?
  5. What are my beliefs about the world around me?
  6. How do I see my own worthiness and value?
  7. What beliefs do I hold about success and achievement?
  8. How do I interpret feedback and criticism?
  9. What are my beliefs about happiness and fulfillment?

Reflective Practices for Personal Growth:

  1. Journaling: Write down your beliefs, explore their origins, and reflect on their impact on your thoughts and actions.
  2. Mindfulness: Practice being present and observing your beliefs without judgment in different situations.
  3. Seeking Feedback: Engage in conversations with others to gain new perspectives on your beliefs.
  4. Challenge Your Beliefs: Question the validity of your beliefs and examine how they may be limiting you.
  5. Visualization: Envision a life without the constraints of limiting beliefs and explore the possibilities.
  6. Read and Learn: Educate yourself on personal development topics to gain insights into belief systems.
  7. Affirmations: Use positive affirmations to replace negative beliefs with empowering ones.
  8. Therapy or Coaching: Consider seeking professional guidance to delve deeper into your beliefs and work on transforming them.

By actively engaging in these reflective practices, you can unravel the layers of your beliefs, identify areas for growth, and pave the way for personal transformation. Embracing a mindset of curiosity, openness, and self-awareness can lead to profound shifts in your beliefs and ultimately empower you to live a more fulfilling and authentic life. Remember, personal growth is a continuous journey of self-discovery and evolution, and reflecting on your beliefs is a powerful step toward realizing your full potential.

Posted on

Embracing Post-Traumatic Growth: A Guide for Adoptive Families

Adopting a child is a journey filled with love, hope, and challenges. For adoptive families, the road to building a strong and resilient family unit may involve navigating various emotional terrains. One concept that has gained recognition in recent years is “post-traumatic growth” (PTG). This transformative process, arising from adversity, can be a powerful tool for adoptive families seeking to foster connection, resilience, and personal growth.

Understanding Post-Traumatic Growth:
Post-traumatic growth refers to the positive psychological changes that individuals or families can experience in the aftermath of a challenging or traumatic event. Rather than being overwhelmed by difficulties, individuals may find new strengths, perspectives, and a deeper appreciation for life.

Adoptive families often encounter unique challenges, including the complexities of attachment, identity, and the potential for past traumas in a child’s life. By understanding the principles of post-traumatic growth, adoptive families can harness these challenges as opportunities for personal and collective development.

The Five Domains of Post-Traumatic Growth:

  1. Personal Strength:
    Adoptive families can cultivate personal strength by acknowledging and embracing their vulnerabilities. This involves recognizing the resilience they’ve developed in navigating the adoption process and overcoming obstacles. Fostering a sense of self-efficacy can empower family members to face future challenges with confidence.
  2. Appreciation of Life:
    Embracing gratitude for the joys and positive aspects of life can be a transformative practice for adoptive families. Celebrating milestones, small victories, and the everyday moments of connection can create a foundation of positivity within the family.
  3. Relationships:
    Nurturing healthy connections within the family and beyond is crucial for post-traumatic growth. Adoptive families may find strength in open communication, empathy, and a shared commitment to overcoming challenges. Strong support systems, whether through friends, family, or support groups, can enhance the family’s ability to grow together.
  4. New Possibilities:
    The adoption journey opens doors to new possibilities, both for the child and the family. Recognizing and exploring these opportunities, whether through education, hobbies, or cultural exploration, can contribute to the family’s collective growth.
  5. Spiritual or Existential Growth:
    Reflecting on the deeper meaning and purpose of the adoption journey can lead to spiritual or existential growth. This may involve exploring one’s beliefs, values, and the profound impact of building a family through adoption.

Practical Strategies for Adoptive Families:

  1. Promote Open Communication:
    Encourage family members to express their thoughts and feelings openly. Establishing a safe space for communication fosters understanding and strengthens familial bonds.
  2. Seek Professional Support:
    Utilize the expertise of adoption professionals, therapists, and support groups to navigate challenges. Professional guidance can offer insights, coping strategies, and reassurance during difficult times.
  3. Embrace the Journey:
    Recognize that the adoption journey is ongoing, and growth is a continuous process. Embrace the ups and downs, understanding that challenges can be opportunities for learning and development.
  4. Celebrate Milestones:
    Acknowledge and celebrate the achievements and milestones within the family. Recognizing progress, no matter how small reinforces a positive outlook and strengthens the family’s sense of accomplishment.


Post-traumatic growth is a powerful framework for adoptive families seeking to transform challenges into opportunities for personal and collective development. By fostering personal strength, appreciating life, nurturing relationships, exploring new possibilities, and embracing spiritual growth, adoptive families can build resilience and create a supportive environment for their children. The adoption journey is a unique and transformative experience, and with a mindset of post-traumatic growth, families can navigate it with strength, grace, and a deep sense of connection.

Posted on

Stop Second-Guessing Yourself: Build Confidence and Make Better Decisions

Second-guessing oneself is a common experience that can lead to indecision, anxiety, and a lack of confidence. For many people, the constant cycle of doubting their choices and actions can be a significant challenge. However, there are ways to overcome this habit and build the confidence needed to make decisions with conviction.

Step 1: Recognize the Pattern:

The first step in overcoming second-guessing is to recognize the pattern. Pay attention to when and why you tend to doubt yourself. Is it in social situations, at work, or when making personal decisions? Understanding the triggers for your second-guessing can help you address the issue more effectively.

Step 2: Challenge Negative Thoughts:

Once you identify the pattern, work on challenging the negative thoughts that lead to second-guessing. Instead of assuming the worst or doubting your abilities, consciously replace negative thoughts with more positive and realistic ones. For example, if you catch yourself thinking “I can’t do this,” reframe it to “I have the skills and knowledge to tackle this.”

Step 3: Practice Self-Compassion:

It’s important to be kind to yourself when facing the challenges of second-guessing. Practice self-compassion by acknowledging that it’s okay to make mistakes and that everyone experiences moments of doubt. Treat yourself with the same understanding and encouragement that you would offer to a friend in a similar situation.

Step 4: Seek Support and Feedback:

Don’t be afraid to seek support and feedback from trusted friends, family members, or colleagues. Sharing your thoughts and concerns with others can provide a different perspective and help you gain clarity. Constructive feedback can also reinforce your confidence in making decisions.

Step 5: Take Action and Embrace Mistakes:

Overcoming second-guessing often involves taking action despite the uncertainty. Embrace the possibility of making mistakes and recognize that they are valuable learning opportunities. By taking decisive action, you can build confidence in your ability to handle challenges and make informed choices.

Step 6: Celebrate Achievements and Progress:

As you work on overcoming second-guessing, celebrate your achievements and progress along the way. Recognize and acknowledge the times when you make decisions without hesitation or doubt. By acknowledging your growth, you reinforce positive behaviors and build confidence in your decision-making abilities.

Overcoming the habit of second-guessing oneself is a gradual process that requires self-confidence, and a willingness to take action. By recognizing the pattern, challenging negative thoughts, seeking support, and embracing mistakes, individuals can gradually build the confidence needed to make decisions with conviction. Through consistent practice and perseverance, it is possible to break free from the cycle of second-guessing and approach life’s challenges with greater confidence and clarity.

Posted on

Creating a Resilient Mindset for Challenging Situations

Life is an unpredictable journey filled with twists and turns, presenting us with a wide array of challenges and difficult situations. In such moments, the power of resilience becomes paramount. Resilience, the ability to bounce back from adversity, is not an innate trait but a skill that can be cultivated and nurtured. In this article, we will explore how we can draw inspiration from popular books, renowned authors, poets, and philosophers to develop a resilient mindset that empowers us to face life’s difficulties head-on.

Embracing the Power of Mindset:

One of the fundamental aspects of building resilience is adopting a growth mindset. In her book “Mindset: The New Psychology of Success,” Carol S. Dweck emphasizes the transformative potential of embracing a growth mindset. By understanding that challenges are opportunities for growth, we can shift our perspective and view difficult situations as stepping stones towards personal development.

Drawing Inspiration from Literature:

Throughout history, literature has been a source of solace and inspiration for individuals facing hardships. Authors like Viktor Frankl, in his work “Man’s Search for Meaning,” remind us that even in the darkest moments, we can find purpose and meaning. By seeking out stories of triumph over adversity, such as “The Alchemist” by Paulo Coelho or “The Odyssey” by Homer, we can glean wisdom and resilience from the journeys of fictional characters.

Wisdom from Philosophers and Poets:

The wisdom of philosophers and poets transcends time and provides us with timeless insights into resilience. Marcus Aurelius, in his “Meditations,” highlights the importance of accepting and adapting to circumstances beyond our control. The poet Maya Angelou, through her words, encourages us to rise above difficulties and discover our inner strength. “Still I Rise” serves as a testament to the power of resilience in the face of adversity.

Cultivating Self-Compassion:

In challenging times, self-compassion becomes a vital component of resilience. Kristen Neff, in her book “Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself,” emphasizes the importance of treating ourselves with kindness, especially when facing difficult situations. By practicing self-compassion, we create a nurturing inner environment that fosters resilience and self-growth.

Building Supportive Relationships:

Resilience is not a solitary endeavor. Building and maintaining healthy relationships can be a source of immense strength during tough times. Author Brené Brown, known for her work on vulnerability and courage, explores the power of connection in her book “Daring Greatly.” Surrounding ourselves with a network of supportive individuals who uplift and encourage us can significantly enhance our resilience.

Setting the right mindset for a specific situation or relationship can greatly contribute to positive outcomes. Here are some questions you can ask yourself to help establish a resilient mindset:

  1. What is my desired outcome in this situation or relationship?
  2. What are my strengths and how can I leverage them to navigate this situation or relationship effectively?
  3. What are the potential challenges or obstacles I might encounter, and how can I prepare to overcome them?
  4. Am I approaching this situation or relationship with an open and non-judgmental mindset?
  5. What assumptions or preconceptions do I have, and how can I challenge or reframe them?
  6. What opportunities for growth and learning exist within this situation or relationship?
  7. How can I practice empathy and understanding to better connect with others involved?
  8. Am I focusing on what I can control or influence, rather than fixating on things outside of my control?
  9. What self-care strategies can I implement to maintain my well-being throughout this process?
  10. Am I willing to communicate openly and honestly, and actively listen to the perspectives of others?

In the face of life’s challenges, resilience becomes the anchor that keeps us grounded. By cultivating a growth mindset, drawing inspiration from literature, embracing wisdom from philosophers and poets, practicing self-compassion, and nurturing supportive relationships, we fortify our resilience. As we navigate the ups and downs of life’s journey, let us remember that difficult situations are not insurmountable roadblocks but opportunities for growth and self-discovery. With the wisdom of renowned authors, poets, and philosophers as our guiding lights, we can cultivate an unwavering mindset that empowers us to face adversity with grace and resilience.

Posted on

Start Each Day with Positive Intentions

If you struggle in the mornings, there is one thing you can add to your daily routine that will help, and that’s positive intention. Helping to set the tone for your day, starting with positive intentions can deliver a lot of great benefits.

Below, we’ll look at the benefits positive intentions provide. You will also learn exactly how to create and use positive intentions to your advantage.

What Positive Intentions Are

A positive intention is much like a map. It tells your mind where you want to go in life and what you want to achieve. When you are adding a positive intention into your day, you are basically telling your mind what it is you want to accomplish in the next 24 hours. 

We all set intentions at the start of our day, whether we realize it or not. Even bad habits can stem from positive intentions. For example, your intention may subconsciously be to feel good, so you indulge in your favorite junk foods. By taking control consciously of your positive intentions, it can deliver a lot of great benefits.

Benefits Positive Intentions Provide

Positive intentions provide a lot of awesome benefits. Some of the biggest advantages include:

  • They help you to get out of your head
  • They improve your focus
  • They can help you to develop a more positive mindset
  • You will be more likely to achieve your goals

Positive intentions give the mind a clear focus. They help you to become more present in the moment and focus on what it is you need to do today to achieve your goals. Helping you to get out of your head and provide a clear path to where you want to be, you will notice you are much more productive, less stressed, and happier overall.

The thing is the mind is going to set its own intentions for the day if you don’t intervene. Unfortunately, the mind finds it easier to focus on the negative. With positive intentions, it can help you to train the mind to be more positive.

How to Start With Daily Positive Intentions

Now you know some of the benefits of starting each day with a positive intention, what types of intentions can you set? Knowing where to start can be tough, but it’s much easier than you might think. Some examples of positive intentions include:

  • “Today my intention is to accept love and joy into my life”
  • “Today, I will remain silent for 15 minutes and listen to my inner guide”
  • “Today, I will remain focused on my to-do list and not give in to distractions”

These are just some basic examples you can follow. Think of what it is you want to achieve or feel by the end of the day. Then, set that as your intention and remember to keep it positive.

When you start each day with a positive intention, it can add real meaning into your life. You may just be surprised by how beneficial this simple act can make you more successful. 

To create a powerful day, create a daily routine. Follow your routine to structure your life more efficiently and receive many powerful benefits.

1. Develop good habits.

One of the best reasons to create a daily routine is that it can help you to combat bad habits. By replacing bad habits with good ones, you can gradually improve all aspects of your life. It can be tough to overcome bad habits, but a routine can help massively.

2. Boost your efficiency.

Do you ever wish you could get more done and make the most of your time? With a daily routine you can. Adding structure into your life, a good daily routine will make you much more efficient. You won’t waste as much time as you once did, helping you to achieve much more during your day.

3. Improve your health. 

One of the most powerful reasons to create a daily routine is that it can help you improve your health. Whether you need to improve your physical or your mental health, a good routine can prove invaluable. By using it to introduce healthier habits, you’ll start to notice fast changes in your mood and general wellbeing.

4. Sleep better.

Did you know when you have a routine you sleep better? If you go to bed at the same time each night, and awake at the same time each morning, you’ll feel much more refreshed. You can also implement things into your routine that help you sleep better, such as switching off technology an hour before bed. When you sleep better, you feel better and it improves every aspect of your life.

5. Incorporate more structure.

To achieve your goals, you need willpower and motivation. A daily routine can incorporate both. Exercise is a good example of this. When you add it into your daily routine, it quickly starts to become an automatic habit. You won’t need to force yourself through willpower or motivate yourself with a reward, once it becomes a habit.

6. Reduce and relieve stress. 

A daily routine can help reduce and relieve stress. As you know what your day mostly consists of, and you use it to introduce healthier habits, your stress levels will naturally decrease. You can also schedule in time for relaxation each day to help.

So, there you have it, 6 reasons you should create daily routines. While developing an effective routine can take time, once you have it in place you won’t regret taking the time to create it. To become successful, happy, and healthy, we all need structure and routine in our lives.

Posted on

Parenting Paupers or Princes?

by Ron Huxley, LMFT

There are areas in our parenting where we think like princes or princesses. We are fully confident in our abilities to handle a situation. There are also areas where we think like paupers, poor in attitude and low in confidence. A prince is rich in resources and doesn’t worry about a positive future. They know respect and honor from those around them. A pauper lives by survival skills and manipulation and secrecy is the game of life. A prince feels deserving of worthy and is valued and feels valuable. A pauper feels worthlessness, shame and guilt.

Are you a consciously parenting a prince or a pauper? Do you feel confident and worthy to the task? Are you controlled by guilt, manipulation, and shame? Do you experience respect or disdain from your family members? Is your household ruled by love or fear?

It is possible to think like a prince in some areas of our lives and like a pauper in others at the same time. It may not be all of our parenting that suffers but there may be some key areas that are creating some big trouble. Take time to honestly evaluate where you are thinking like a prince or a pauper. Allow yourself to find new value and think differently about your family relationships. Create a self-care plan. Read, watch, listen or hang out with people who believe they are a prince and princess. They will model how to have a different mindset for parenting and life.

A parenting pauper has few or no tools to build a family of their dreams. A parenting prince or princess has many tools in their parenting toolbox. Get more parenting tools by using our online parenting ecourses in our Family Healer School!