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Nurturing Hearts and Minds: Trauma-Informed SEL

In the intricate tapestry of education, we often encounter students with untold stories of resilience and strength, hidden beneath the shadows of past traumas. As educators and caregivers, it is our collective responsibility to create an environment that not only nurtures academic growth but also prioritizes emotional well-being. Enter Trauma-Informed Social-Emotional Learning (SEL), an approach that stands as a beacon of hope for our students who have faced adversity. In this blog article, we embark on a journey to explore the profound impact of trauma-informed SEL in schools and homes, witnessing its transformative power in cultivating resilient hearts and compassionate minds. Join us as we uncover the key elements that make SEL a profound refuge for healing, growth, and academic triumph.

History of Social-Emotional Learning (SEL):

Social-Emotional Learning (SEL) is an educational approach that focuses on nurturing and developing students’ social and emotional skills. It aims to help students understand and manage their emotions, establish positive relationships, demonstrate empathy and compassion, make responsible decisions, and effectively communicate with others. SEL recognizes the importance of fostering emotional intelligence and well-being to enhance students’ overall academic success and prepare them for life beyond the classroom.

  1. Emergence in the 20th Century: The roots of SEL can be traced back to the early 20th century, with early theories in psychology emphasizing the significance of emotional development and interpersonal skills in individuals’ lives.
  2. The Humanistic Psychology Movement: In the 1950s and 1960s, humanistic psychologists, such as Carl Rogers and Abraham Maslow, emphasized the importance of understanding and nurturing human emotions, self-awareness, and self-esteem.
  3. The Social Skills Movement: In the 1970s, there was a growing emphasis on teaching social skills to students, recognizing that interpersonal competence plays a vital role in students’ overall adjustment and academic performance.
  4. Collaborative for Academic, Social, and Emotional Learning (CASEL): In 1994, CASEL was established as a nonprofit organization to promote SEL in educational settings. CASEL has played a pivotal role in advancing research, setting standards, and providing resources for implementing evidence-based SEL programs.
  5. The Recognition of Emotional Intelligence: In the mid-1990s, the concept of emotional intelligence gained prominence, with scholars like Daniel Goleman highlighting the importance of emotional intelligence in personal and professional success.
  6. Introduction of SEL Programs: Throughout the late 1990s and early 2000s, various SEL programs were developed and implemented in schools worldwide. Programs like “Second Step,” “Responsive Classroom,” and “Positive Action” aimed to enhance students’ social and emotional competencies.
  7. Incorporation into Educational Standards: Over time, SEL has been increasingly recognized as an essential component of education. Many educational systems and states in the United States have incorporated SEL into their curriculum and standards.
  8. Research and Validation: A growing body of research in the 21st century has provided strong evidence for the positive impact of SEL on students’ academic achievement, well-being, and long-term success.
  9. Global Adoption: SEL has gained international recognition, with schools and educational institutions around the world embracing SEL principles as part of their holistic approach to education.

Is SEL also TIC?

SEL skills are inherently trauma-informed due to their focus on fostering emotional intelligence, self-awareness, and empathy. Trauma-informed SEL recognizes that many students may have experienced adverse events or challenging circumstances, and it acknowledges the potential impact of trauma on their emotional and social development. Here’s some reasons why Social-Emotional Learnings skills are based on Trauma-Informed Care:

  1. Creating Safe and Supportive Environments: Trauma-informed SEL emphasizes the importance of creating safe and supportive learning environments. By prioritizing emotional safety, students are encouraged to express themselves without fear of judgment or retribution. This supportive atmosphere allows children to build trust with their teachers and peers, fostering a sense of security necessary for healing and growth.
  2. Promoting Emotional Regulation: SEL equips students with essential emotional regulation skills, empowering them to manage their emotions effectively. For students who have experienced trauma, emotions can be overwhelming and challenging to control. Learning techniques to identify, understand, and cope with emotions enables students to navigate their feelings constructively, reducing the risk of triggers and emotional dysregulation.
  3. Encouraging Resilience: Trauma-informed SEL emphasizes the development of resilience in students. By teaching coping strategies and problem-solving skills, students gain the ability to bounce back from adverse experiences, promoting a sense of mastery and self-efficacy. Resilience enables students to face and overcome challenges, a vital aspect of healing from trauma.
  4. Cultivating Empathy and Understanding: SEL activities promote empathy and understanding among students. By encouraging perspective-taking and active listening, trauma-informed SEL fosters a compassionate and empathetic school community. For students who have experienced trauma, feeling understood and supported by peers can be immensely healing.
  5. Addressing Trauma’s Impact on Learning: Trauma can significantly affect a student’s ability to focus, learn, and engage in the classroom. Trauma-informed SEL recognizes and addresses these impacts, providing strategies to support students’ academic progress while considering their emotional well-being.
  6. Building Strong Relationships: Trauma-informed SEL emphasizes building strong and positive relationships between teachers and students. Establishing secure attachments with caring adults can be transformative for students who have experienced trauma, as it provides a reliable source of support and nurturance.
  7. Encouraging Student Agency: Trauma-informed SEL emphasizes empowering students to have agency in their own healing and development. By involving students in setting goals and making decisions about their learning, they gain a sense of control and ownership over their growth process, which can be particularly empowering for those who have experienced trauma.

SEL skills are TIC because they prioritize emotional well-being, foster safe and supportive environments, promote emotional regulation, and encourage resilience and empathy. By incorporating trauma-informed SEL practices in educational settings, we can better support all students, including those who have experienced trauma, on their journey to healing, growth, and academic success.

How do you do SEL?

Here are twenty ways that a classroom or home can can use social-emotional learning skills:

  1. Mindful Breathing: Teach children to practice deep breathing to calm their minds and manage stress.
  2. Emotion Check-In: Encourage students to express their feelings and emotions through check-in sessions at the beginning of the day.
  3. Journaling: Provide students with journals to write about their experiences, emotions, and reflections.
  4. Gratitude Circle: Gather students to share things they are thankful for, fostering a positive and appreciative mindset.
  5. Empathy Role Play: Engage students in role-playing scenarios to develop empathy and understanding of others’ perspectives.
  6. Positive Affirmations: Incorporate daily affirmations to boost self-esteem and promote a positive self-image.
  7. Conflict Resolution: Teach problem-solving strategies and communication skills to handle conflicts constructively.
  8. Growth Mindset Activities: Encourage a growth mindset by celebrating effort, persistence, and learning from mistakes.
  9. Acts of Kindness: Implement acts of kindness challenges, where students perform random acts of kindness for others.
  10. SEL Read-Alouds: Use books with SEL themes to spark discussions and reflections on emotions and social situations.
  11. Mindfulness Exercises: Introduce various mindfulness activities, such as body scans and mindful eating, to promote focus and self-awareness.
  12. SEL Board Games: Utilize board games that promote cooperation, empathy, and emotional intelligence.
  13. Social Skills Charades: Play a game of charades to practice identifying and expressing different emotions and social cues.
  14. Team-Building Activities: Engage students in team-building exercises to foster collaboration and teamwork.
  15. SEL Art Projects: Use art as a medium for students to express their emotions and promote creativity.
  16. SEL Puzzles: Create puzzles with emotions and social situations to encourage problem-solving and emotional recognition.
  17. SEL Videos: Show age-appropriate videos that highlight social-emotional themes for group discussions.
  18. Relaxation Exercises: Lead guided relaxation sessions to help students unwind and manage stress.
  19. SEL Reflection Sheets: Provide reflection sheets for students to assess their emotional states and set goals for improvement.
  20. SEL Appreciation Letters: Encourage students to write appreciation letters to peers, teachers, or family members, recognizing their positive qualities and actions.

Remember that these activities can be adapted based on the age group and preferences of the children. By incorporating these SEL activities into both classroom and home settings, children can develop essential social-emotional skills that will benefit them throughout their lives.

Resources for SEL:

Popular Internet Sites for SEL Resources:

  1. CASEL (Collaborative for Academic, Social, and Emotional Learning): Offers research-based resources, lesson plans, and information on implementing SEL in schools and communities.
    Website: https://casel.org/
  2. Edutopia – Social and Emotional Learning: A collection of articles, videos, and practical tips for integrating SEL into classrooms.
    Website: https://www.edutopia.org/topic/sel-social-emotional-learning
  3. Greater Good Magazine – Education: Provides articles and resources on SEL, mindfulness, and positive psychology for educators and parents.
    Website: https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/education
  4. Understood: Offers resources and support for parents and teachers working with children with learning and attention issues, including SEL strategies.
    Website: https://www.understood.org/en/school-learning/learning-at-home/social-emotional-skills
  5. Teach Starter – Social-Emotional Learning: Provides downloadable resources, posters, and activities to support SEL in the classroom.
    Website: https://www.teachstarter.com/us/teaching-resource-collection/social-emotional-learning-us/

Popular Books on SEL for Parents and Teachers:

These websites and books offer valuable insights, strategies, and practical tools for parents and teachers to support children’s social and emotional development effectively. Whether it’s in the classroom or at home, incorporating SEL practices can positively impact a child’s overall well-being and success.

The Growing Impact of Social-Emotional Learning in Education

  1. “The Whole-Brain Child: 12 Revolutionary Strategies to Nurture Your Child’s Developing Mind” by Daniel J. Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson.
  2. “Mindful Games: Sharing Mindfulness and Meditation with Children, Teens, and Families” by Susan Kaiser Greenland.
  3. “Permission to Feel: Unlocking the Power of Emotions to Help Our Kids, Ourselves, and Our Society Thrive” by Marc Brackett.
  4. “SEL Every Day: Integrating Social and Emotional Learning with Instruction in Secondary Classrooms” by Meena Srinivasan.
  5. “The Self-Driven Child: The Science and Sense of Giving Your Kids More Control Over Their Lives” by William Stixrud and Ned Johnson.
  6. “The Power of Showing Up: How Parental Presence Shapes Who Our Kids Become and How Their Brains Get Wired” by Daniel J. Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson.
  7. “Teaching Kids to Thrive: Essential Skills for Success” by Debbie Silver, Dedra Stafford, and Jack C. Berckemeyer.
  8. “Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child: The Heart of Parenting” by John Gottman and Joan DeClaire.
  9. “The Emotionally Intelligent Parent: How to Raise a Self-Disciplined, Responsible, Socially Skilled Child” by Maurice J. Elias and Steven E. Tobias.
  10. “Lost at School: Why Our Kids with Behavioral Challenges are Falling Through the Cracks and How We Can Help Them” by Ross W. Greene.

The Promising Future of SEL in TIC

The McGraw Hill survey conducted in July 2021 highlighted a positive trend in the United States. More than half of the educators surveyed reported that their schools had already embraced SEL curriculum, indicating a shift towards recognizing the value of addressing students’ social and emotional needs.

As SEL continues to gain momentum, it will undoubtedly play an instrumental role in shaping the future of education. By prioritizing the emotional well-being of students, educational institutions can create nurturing environments where students flourish academically and emotionally. SEL empowers students with crucial life skills that extend beyond the classroom, contributing to their overall personal and professional success.

The Power of Yet: Embracing Growth and Positivity in the Face of Adversity

Yielding: Embracing Change and Adaptability
The first letter of YET reminds us of the importance of yielding to change. Life is constantly fluxing, and being open-minded and adaptable is crucial for personal growth. Instead of resisting change, we can embrace it as an opportunity for learning and development. By letting go of fixed perspectives and welcoming new possibilities, we create space for growth to flourish.

Encouraging: Nurturing Positivity Within and Around
The second letter of YET highlights the significance of encouragement. Positivity acts as a catalyst for growth, fueling our motivation and helping us overcome obstacles. By offering support and motivation to ourselves and others, we create an environment that fosters personal and collective development. Small acts of encouragement, such as uplifting words or acknowledging progress, can make a remarkable difference in our journey toward positivity and growth.

Trusting: Building Confidence in the Journey
The final letter of YET emphasizes the power of trust. Trusting ourselves, others, and the growth process is essential for cultivating positivity. When we trust our abilities, we build confidence and resilience, enabling us to face challenges head-on. Trusting others allows us to collaborate, seek guidance, and learn from their experiences. Moreover, having faith in the growth process helps us navigate uncertainty, knowing that every step forward contributes to our overall development.

Embracing the YET Mindset:
Embracing the YET mindset is a powerful tool for personal transformation. By yielding to change, we open ourselves up to new possibilities and embrace the growth potential. We uplift ourselves and others through encouragement, creating an atmosphere that fosters positivity and fuels our motivation. Trusting in ourselves, others and the journey ahead instills confidence and resilience, helping us navigate the ups and downs of life with grace and determination.

Practical Tips for Cultivating the YET Mindset:

  1. Practice prayer and mindfulness: Cultivate awareness of your thoughts and emotions, allowing yourself to yield to change and adapt more quickly.
  2. Celebrate progress: Encourage yourself and others by acknowledging achievements, no matter how small. Celebrating progress boosts motivation and creates positive momentum.
  3. Seek support: Trust in the power of collaboration and seek guidance and support from others who can help you grow.
  4. Embrace challenges: Instead of shying away from challenges, approach them with a mindset of curiosity and learning. Trust that you can overcome obstacles and grow from the experience.


Embracing the YET mindset—Yielding, Encouraging, Trusting—enables us to unlock our potential for growth and positivity. By yielding to change, encouraging ourselves and others, and trusting in the journey, we create an empowering environment for personal development. Let us embrace the power of YET and embark on a path of growth, resilience, and unwavering optimism. Remember, you can yield, encourage, and trust—ultimately transforming your life and positively impacting those around you.

Affirmation for the Power of YET!

  1. I am not completely forgiving YET, but I will be compassionate and embrace forgiveness, nurturing harmonious relationships.
  2. I am not an active listener YET, but I will be present and attentive, fostering deeper connections with others.
  3. I am not self-confident YET, but I will be secure in my identity, radiating inner strength and inspiring others.
  4. I am not entirely patient YET, but I will be understanding and cultivate patience, promoting peaceful interactions.
  5. I am not consistently empathetic YET, but I will be understanding and compassionate, supporting those in need.
  6. I am not entirely self-accepting YET, but I will embrace my uniqueness and love myself unconditionally.
  7. I am not entirely assertive YET, but I will express my needs and boundaries clearly and confidently.
  8. I am not always a good forgiver YET, but I will release grudges and embrace healing in my relationships.
  9. I am not fully mindful of my words YET, but I will speak with kindness and consideration, nurturing positive connections.
  10. I am not entirely free from self-doubt YET, but I will embrace my worthiness and trust in my capabilities, fostering inner growth.

The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook

“The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook” by Kristin Neff and Christopher Germer is a comprehensive guide to developing self-compassion, which involves treating oneself with kindness and understanding rather than criticism and judgment. The authors provide a step-by-step program for cultivating self-compassion and building resilience.

One of the key insights from the book is that self-compassion involves three key components: mindfulness, self-kindness, and common humanity. Mindfulness involves being present and aware of one’s thoughts and feelings without judgment or criticism. Self-kindness involves treating oneself with kindness and understanding rather than harsh self-criticism. Common humanity involves recognizing that everyone experiences life’s difficulties and challenges and is not alone in their struggles.

The book includes numerous exercises and practices for cultivating self-compassion, including guided meditations, journaling prompts, and self-reflection exercises. The authors also guide overcoming common barriers to self-compassion, such as perfectionism, shame, and self-doubt.

Some of the exercises from the book include:

  1. Loving-Kindness Meditation: This meditation involves directing loving-kindness towards oneself and others. The authors guide how to practice this meditation and suggest incorporating it into a daily routine.
  2. Self-Compassion Break: This exercise involves taking a few moments to offer oneself kindness and understanding during a difficult moment. The authors provide a step-by-step guide for practicing this exercise and suggest incorporating it into daily life.
  3. Soothing Touch Exercise: This exercise involves using touch to offer oneself comfort and compassion. The authors provide guidance on practicing this exercise and suggest using it during stress or anxiety.
  4. Self-Compassion Journaling: This involves writing down thoughts and feelings related to self-compassion, such as moments when one has been kind to themselves or times when one has been self-critical. The authors provide prompts for journaling and suggest using this exercise to build self-awareness and self-compassion.
  5. Compassionate Body Scan: This meditation focuses on different body parts and offers oneself compassion and understanding. The authors guide how to practice this meditation and suggest using it to connect with the body and cultivate self-compassion.
  6. Affectionate Breathing: This meditation focuses on the breath and imagining oneself inhaling and exhaling love and compassion. The authors guide how to practice this meditation and suggest incorporating it into a daily mindfulness practice.
  7. Self-Compassion Letter: This exercise involves writing a letter to oneself offering kindness, understanding, and support. The authors guide how to write this letter and suggest using it to cultivate self-compassion and self-awareness.

Here are the steps for the Soothing Touch exercise from “The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook”:

  1. Find a comfortable and quiet place where you won’t be disturbed for a few minutes.
  2. Take a few deep breaths and become present at the moment.
  3. Begin by placing your hand on your heart or another soothing part of your body. You might choose to place your hand on your cheek, your forehead, or another part of your body that feels comforting.
  4. Allow yourself to feel the warmth and comfort of your touch. If it feels helpful, you can imagine that you are offering yourself love and kindness through your touch.
  5. Spend a few moments simply noticing the sensation of your touch and allowing yourself to feel comforted and soothed.
  6. If your mind begins to wander, gently bring your attention back to the sensation of your touch.
  7. When you feel ready, slowly release your touch and take a few deep breaths.
  8. Take a moment to reflect on how the Soothing Touch exercise made you feel. Notice any changes in your body or your mood.

The Soothing Touch exercise is a simple and effective way to offer oneself comfort and compassion during moments of stress or anxiety. By practicing this exercise regularly, individuals can cultivate a more positive and compassionate relationship with themselves.

Here are the steps for the Self-Compassion Letter exercise from “The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook”:

  1. Find a quiet and comfortable place where you won’t be disturbed for a little while.
  2. Take a few deep breaths and allow yourself to become present.
  3. Imagine that you are writing a letter to a close friend who is going through a difficult time. Offer this friend kind and compassionate words of support and encouragement.
  4. When you feel ready, begin writing a letter to yourself, using the same kind and compassionate language you would use with a close friend.
  5. In your letter, offer yourself kindness and understanding for any struggles or difficulties that you have been experiencing. Acknowledge that these experiences are a natural part of the human experience and that you are not alone in your struggles.
  6. Consider including phrases that resonate with you, such as “I am here for you” or “I am proud of you for facing this challenge.”
  7. Take your time writing your letter, allowing yourself to feel the emotions as you write.
  8. When you are finished, read the letter back to yourself, allowing yourself to fully absorb the kind and compassionate words that you have written.

The Self-Compassion Letter exercise is a powerful way to cultivate self-compassion and self-awareness. By offering themselves kindness and understanding, individuals can shift their inner dialogue towards a more positive and supportive tone. The exercise can be repeated regularly, and letters can be saved and revisited during moments of difficulty or stress.

As a trauma-informed therapist, I believe that cultivating self-compassion is an essential component of trauma recovery. Trauma can often leave individuals feeling disconnected from themselves and others, leading to self-criticism and self-blame. By cultivating self-compassion, individuals can begin to heal from the effects of trauma and develop a more positive and compassionate relationship with themselves.

In addition, organizations can benefit from becoming more trauma-sensitive by recognizing the impact of trauma on individuals and creating a safe and supportive environment. The practices and exercises outlined in “The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook” can help individuals and organizations become more trauma-sensitive by promoting self-awareness, compassion, and empathy.

Just Like Me…

In a recent training on Trauma-Informed Care, I led the group through a mindfulness exercise that explored the nature of suffering. The goal was to bring a higher level of compassion for others in emotional pain.

Suffering refers to the state of undergoing pain, distress, or hardship. We know, in our heads, that everyone goes through difficult times but in our hearts, we neglect to connect with others, in their pain. This is because we are in pain too!

Professionals, who work with hurt people, are double-agents. They provide trauma-informed care and services to others AND they have experienced trauma too. We can be triggered by others pain and this will result in a distancing of emotions in order to keep ourselves safe. We sometimes call this a “professional distance” or “objectivity.” It might help us feel safer but it will also disconnect us from the heart of what we are trying to do in serving others. How to maintain this balance is the subject for another discussion. In the meantime, try this mindfulness exercise called “Just Like Me…” Examine how you feel before and after reading through it. Use it weekly or as often as you need to reconnect you with others who have experienced trauma and loss.

“Think of someone you like or dislike that you want to expect positive feelings and forgive. It help to think of that person who is similar to you. Take deep breaths and repeat after me…

This person has a body and a mind, just like me.
This person has feelings, emotions, and thoughts, just like me.
This person has in his or her life, experienced physical and emotional pain and suffering, just like me.
This person has at some point been sad, disappointed, angry, or hurt, just like me. This person has felt unworthy or inadequate, just like me.
This person worries and is frightened sometimes, just like me.
This person has longed for friendship, just like me.
This person is learning about life, just like me.
This person wants to be caring and kind to others, just like me.
This person wants to be content with what life has given, just like me.
This person wishes to be free from pain and suffering, just like me.
This person wishes to be safe and healthy, just like me.
This person wishes to be happy, just like me.
This person wishes to be loved, just like me.
Now, allow some wishes for well-being to arise:
I wish that this person have the strength, resources, and social support to navigate the difficulties in life with ease.
I wish that this person be free from pain and suffering.
I wish that this person be peaceful and happy.
I wish that this person be loved.
Because this person is a fellow human being, just like me.”

Need a therapist or trainer on healing from the hurt of trauma? Contact Ron Huxley today at rehuxley@gmail.com.

Take an online course on Trauma-Informed Care dealing with Trauma, Anxiety, Parenting, and more at http://FamilyHealerSchool.com

 

Healing the Special Needs Child

Many foster and adoptive parents have children with special needs who require specialized care and skills. According to Wikipedia, the term special needs “is a term used in clinical diagnostic and functional development to describe individuals who require assistance for disabilities that may be medical, mental, or psychological.”

In the United States, more than 150,000 children with special needs are waiting for permanent homes. Traditionally, children with special needs have been considered harder to place for adoption than other children, but experience has shown that many children with special needs can be placed successfully with families who want them.

This can put more of a strain on families than they realize. Just loving a child really hard is not enough to manage the requirements of a special needs child. It takes special knowledge and a support system from other parents of special needs children and professionals who “get it!”

Being unprepared is one of the reasons foster and adoptive families disrupt. Disruption is a term that refers to the ending of a foster placement prior to the finalization of an adoption. The rate of disruption has traditionally been10-20% nationally. Post-Adoption services and education can decrease this rate dramatically!

Perhaps the most challenging special needs issue, for parents and professionals, is Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder (FASD). This is defined as a “continuum of permanent birth defects caused by maternal consumption of alcohol during pregnancy. It refers to a group of conditions that can occur in a person whose mother drank alcohol during pregnancy. Problems may include an abnormal appearance, short height, low body weight, small head size, poor coordination, low intelligence, behavior problems, and problems with hearing or seeing.” (Wikipedia)

Fetal alcohol syndrome

In addition to the physical symptoms of FASD, there are several corresponding mental health problems, such as attentional deficits, clinical depression, anxiety, or other mental illness. As you can imagine, many of the problems show up in the child’s school experience. Suspensions or expulsion from school occurs in 90% of children in the united states. For teenagers, this can result in dropping of out of school, experienced by 60% of the subjects (age 12 and older).

Other problems, such as legal issues, can occur for FASD children. Being charged or convicted of a crime is experienced by 60% of the children ages 12 and older. (Wikipedia)

One of the ways to help children with special needs heal is to work on executive functioning skills. Executive Functioning: “are a set of cognitive processes – including attentional control, inhibitory control, working memory, and cognitive flexibility, as well as reasoning, problem-solving and planning – that are necessary for the cognitive control of behavior: selecting and successfully monitoring behaviors that facilitate the attainment of chosen goals.”

Elevating executive functioning skills will help children with special needs make better choices, control their behavior and manage their thoughts and emotions. The simplest way to elevate them is through play.

play1

It’s been said that play is the “beginning of knowledge.” The play is a child’s natural language and how they interact with the world and learn new skills and the shortest route to helping special needs children.

Babies and young children can benefit from games of peekaboo, pat-a-cake, hiding games, simple songs, and music, copying games, and fingerplays. Example of young child games include Eensy Weensy Spider, Where is Thumbkin, Open, Shut Them. Repetition and allowance for failure is key to helping children’s brain develop normally.

School-age children benefit from reading books, music, and movement, simple imitation games like follow the leader, conversations, manipulation of objects like blocks and Legos. Allow children to set the course of play allowing them to start and stop the rhythm of play.

It would seem that play with special needs children is the same as with any other child and it is…except that the intention and purpose of the play are to build brain skills that need reinforcement. The ability to stay focus and tolerate interactions need to be increased over time. If a child can only sit and play for 5 minutes, we want to increase that time to 6 minutes, then 7, etc. Start where the child is and allow them to increase tolerance and focus.

Take into consideration that each time the nervous system starts and then stops, it learns how to persist past impulses and distractions. Each time it achieves a difficult goal, it discovers the pleasure of success and wants to repeat this experience. This provides an internal locus of control that doesn’t require an adult to always supervise the play.

Play also develops social skills, an area that can be drastically missing in children with special needs. As children get older, teamwork becomes more important and necessary both at home and school. Children become more active and like to engage in dance, sports, playing catch, and various competition games. Competition can become a way to alienate others as special needs children have tantrums/meltdowns when they don’t win. This is due to a need to compensate for low self-esteem feeling like a failure at tasks and games.

Let the play be about the process and not the end result. Be happy for others who when and concentrating on celebrating team efforts will enhance executive functioning and overall relational success.

Is this still exhausting work? Yes! But the effort will be worth it in the long run. Use storytelling and imaginary play to make the connections that are missing in social/emotional development. Role-playing and creative art can also be a powerful tool for parents and professionals. Red Light/Green Light, Simon Says, clapping rhythms, guessing games, I Spy, and Brain Teasers are also useful brain tools.

Teenagers with special needs can benefit from practicing real-time daytimers, calendars, whiteboards, mind mapping and more to develop organizational, goal setting, planning, and monitoring and studying skills.

None of these activities should be done in isolation from caring, patient adults. Attachment and brain researchers operate under the maxim that “brains that fire together, wire together.” Just giving a toy to a child or tell them to do a task will not enhance the prefrontal cortex of the brain, where executive functioning is centered. Optimal development occurs when do people interact. Adults can guide the conversation and play to specifically target the individualized needs of the child. The child’s ability to push passed frustrations and manage moods will need the adult to help them through it.

calm

Finally, children of all ages can benefit from the mental organization power of mindfulness. Executive functioning is more than academic ability. This might be the focus on many of the adults in the child’s life but life smarts are important aspects of book smarts.

According to Jon Kabat-Zinn, the founder of Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR), “Mindfulness is the awareness that arises through paying attention, on purpose, in the present moment, non-judgmentally.” Learning to be mindful of one’s thoughts, emotions, and bodily sensations calm the nervous system so thinking skills can increase. Teaching children the importance of experiencing their breath, mindful eating, yoga, and how to ground themselves are crucial skills at all ages.

Get more powerful tools for managing special needs and trauma for your organization with Trauma-Informed Training by contacting Ron Huxley now…click here!

Take a Brain Break – Mindfulness for Children

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Ron Huxley’s Comments: In this video, actress Goldie Hawn talks about the importance of teaching children mindfulness. Her program is called MindUp and takes only a few minutes a day. Mindfulness research is promising huge improvements in mental health. Some of it gets, well, a bit out there! For the most part, however, it holds great benefits in improving mood, increases focus, and promote self-control. What child doesn’t need that? What parent doesn’t need that?