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Unlocking Inner Healing: The Role of Procedural Memory in Trauma Recovery

Trauma leaves an indelible mark on our minds and bodies. Whether it’s a single distressing event or prolonged exposure to adverse circumstances, trauma can disrupt our sense of safety, trust, and well-being. As mental health practitioners, we strive to guide individuals toward healing and resilience. One powerful ally in this journey is procedural memory.

What Is Procedural Memory?

Procedural memory is a type of implicit memory—meaning it operates unconsciously. It involves the memory of how to do certain things. Think of it as the mental blueprint for tasks we’ve learned over time. Riding a bike, tying shoelaces, cooking an omelet without a recipe—these are all examples of procedural memories.

Why Is Procedural Memory Relevant in Trauma Recovery?

  1. Implicit Learning and Skills:
  • Trauma survivors often struggle with conscious memories related to their traumatic experiences (declarative memory). However, procedural memory remains relatively intact.
  • Psychologists can leverage this by focusing on activities that engage procedural memory. Engaging in repetitive, rhythmic, or sensory experiences can help regulate emotions and create a sense of safety.
  1. Mind-Body Connection:
  • Trauma affects both the mind and body. Procedural memory links physical sensations and emotional states.
  • Psychologists can guide clients to notice bodily sensations during therapy. By paying attention to these cues, clients can process trauma more effectively.
  1. Mindfulness and Presence:
  • Practices like mindfulness enhance procedural memory.
  • Psychologists can teach trauma survivors mindfulness techniques to regulate emotions, reduce anxiety, and stay grounded.
  • Mindfulness helps clients access their present-moment experiences, aiding in trauma processing.
  1. Completing Traumatic Memory Processing:
  • Trauma memories are often fragmented and incomplete due to dissociation (a protective mechanism).
  • Procedural memory can help fill in gaps. By engaging in activities that evoke procedural memory (e.g., drawing, dancing, playing music), clients access implicit aspects of their trauma.
  • This completeness contributes to healing and resolution.
  1. Integration of Multiple Approaches:
  • Complex trauma requires an integrative approach.
  • Psychologists combine evidence-based techniques, including mindfulness, somatic experiencing, and cognitive-behavioral strategies.
  • Procedural memory allows for a holistic treatment approach, addressing both cognitive and somatic aspects of trauma.

Practical Applications

  1. Art Therapy: Engaging in creative activities (painting, sculpting, writing) taps into procedural memory. It provides an avenue for expression and healing.
  2. Movement-Based Therapies: Yoga, dance, and tai chi activate procedural memory. These practices promote relaxation, embodiment, and emotional regulation.
  3. Breathing Exercises: Focusing on breath patterns engages procedural memory. Deep, rhythmic breathing calms the nervous system.
  4. Grounding Techniques: Sensory grounding (touching objects, feeling textures) connects clients to the present moment.

Conclusion

As mental health professionals, we honor the resilience within each person. Procedural memory, with its implicit wisdom, guides us toward inner healing. By integrating it into trauma therapy, we empower survivors to reclaim their lives—one procedural step at a time. 🌟🧠

Remember, healing is a journey, and every small step matters. Let’s walk alongside our clients, fostering hope and transformation. 💙

Disclaimer: This article provides general information and is not a substitute for professional advice. Consult a qualified therapist for personalized guidance.

References:

  1. Schacter, D. L., & Tulving, E. (Eds.). (1994). Memory systems 1994. MIT Press.
  2. van der Kolk, B. A. (2014). The body keeps the score: Brain, mind, and body in the healing of trauma. Penguin.
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Overcoming Perfectionism for a Happier, More Peaceful You

Are you someone who often finds themselves striving for flawlessness in everything you do? Do you frequently worry that your efforts aren’t good enough or that you will make mistakes? If these thoughts sound familiar, you might be dealing with a common challenge known as perfectionism.

In this article, we will introduce you to the world of perfectionism, explaining what it is and how it can affect your life. But don’t worry; we will also explore strategies for breaking free from the perfectionism trap and embracing imperfection as a path to a happier and healthier you.

What Is Perfectionism?

Perfectionism is a personality trait characterized by setting excessively high standards for yourself and relentlessly striving to meet them. It often goes hand-in-hand with being overly self-critical and experiencing significant stress and anxiety when things don’t go as planned.

Signs of Perfectionism

Perfectionism can manifest in various ways, including:

  1. Setting unrealistically high goals: You might often set expectations for yourself that are nearly impossible to achieve.
  2. Fear of failure: The mere thought of making a mistake or falling short of your goals can fill you with dread.
  3. Overemphasis on mistakes: When you make a mistake, you may dwell on it excessively and have difficulty letting it go.
  4. Procrastination: In an attempt to avoid making mistakes, you might find yourself putting off tasks or projects.
  5. Low self-esteem: Perfectionists often tie their self-worth to their achievements, so they may struggle with feelings of inadequacy.

The Impact of Perfectionism

While striving for excellence can be a positive trait, extreme perfectionism can adversely affect your mental and emotional well-being. It can lead to chronic stress, anxiety, depression, and physical health problems. It can also strain relationships as you may have unrealistic expectations of others.

Embracing Imperfection: How to Break Free

The good news is that you can overcome perfectionism and learn to embrace imperfection. Here are some friendly and essential strategies to get you started:

  1. Challenge Your Inner Critic: Pay attention to your self-talk and challenge negative, perfectionistic thoughts with more realistic and compassionate ones.
  2. Set Realistic Goals: Break your goals into smaller, achievable steps, and celebrate your progress along the way.
  3. Practice Self-Compassion: Treat yourself with the kindness and understanding you would offer a struggling friend.
  4. Learn from Mistakes: Instead of fearing them, see mistakes as valuable opportunities for growth and learning.
  5. Mindfulness and Relaxation: Techniques like mindfulness meditation and deep breathing can help you stay present and reduce anxiety about the future.
  6. Seek Support: Consider talking to a therapist or counselor who can provide guidance and support on your journey to overcoming perfectionism.

Remember, it’s okay to be imperfect. Nobody is flawless, and life is full of ups and downs. By letting go of perfectionism, you can reduce stress, boost your self-esteem, and lead a happier, more fulfilling life. In upcoming articles, we’ll explore these strategies in more detail, so stay tuned for more tips on your journey to embracing imperfection!

Take a complete course on overcoming perfectionism and anxiety with the Freedom From Anxiety course today at FamilyHealer.tv

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Imagination Improves Relationships

How Can a Healthy Imagination Help Our Relationships?

There’s no doubt about it; relationships are hard. It can seem nearly impossible when you are trying to make two lives work together. If you are struggling in your relationship, it may be worthwhile to examine your imagination. Believe it or not, a healthy imagination can truly help your relationship. 

It has been said that “the world of reality has it limits; the world of imagination is boundless.” (Jean-Jacques Rousseau)

It has also been said that “imagination is more important that knowledge.” (Albert Einstein)

Imagination (Re) Ignites Passion

When you are with the same person for so long, it can often seem like the passion will fade, or maybe things will seem to get a bit boring. Well, imagination is one of the main ignitions of passion. If you improve your imagination, the passion in your relationship will improve as well. 

For example, you could cook your significant other a fancy dinner and serve it to them on a picnic blanket on the floor. Then use your imagination to imagine you are in Paris! You might just be surprised by how much fun the two of you have with imaginative ideas like this.  

Imagination bring hope back into hopeless situations. You don’t have to give up on your relationship situation. You can reignite the passion by igniting the imagination of how things could be…in the future.

Imagination Helps You Make Plans

One of the main indicators of caring about someone is making plans that involve them. Without a healthy imagination, it can be difficult to see past the dreariness of day-to-day life. If your relationship seems to be in a rut, then it’s time to tap into that imagination to create something fun for the two of you to do! Try to think of something you haven’t done before, and don’t be afraid to try something incredibly unique. 

Start small and take small risks in your relationship. Step out of the comfort zone. The effort itself will prove your willingness to try to change even if things don’t do perfectly for you.

Imagination Can Help You Through the Rough Patches

All relationships have rough patches, where you may not be happy with your partner or feel that you aren’t going to make it as a couple. Sometimes, if the relationship is truly worth it, you need to persevere to get there, and imagination can help you through that. Imagination can help you envision a future together where things are better. 

It can help you solve problems that are causing challenges in your relationship. It can even remind you of past times you have had together and how fun they were, even if things are currently difficult.

Whether or not you realize it, imagination is essential to helping your relationship last. Imagination is an integral part of passion, making plans, and surviving the rough patches that will inevitably come along. So if you are in a relationship that is currently struggling, it’s time to work to improve your imagination today. Even if you aren’t currently in a relationship, a healthy imagination is a great method of preparing yourself for future relationships that may come your way. 

Use Love Languages to be creative in your imagination

The 5 love languages was created by Gary Chapman and written about in a book by the same name. The languages include words of affirmation, quality of time, receiving gifts, acts of service, and physical touch. Speaking your partner or family members love languages makes them feel loved. We tend to speak our own love languages which may not match up with others missing the mark. Knowing others love language allows us to use imagination that has a more powerful influence for the future.

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Rebuilding Relationships with Reconciliation Questions

Reconciliation is a frequently misunderstood term, and its process for healing relationships is even more mysterious. Its knowledge and application are vital to our inner and outer worlds.

The word describes making one belief compatible with another. Although used in the financial world to see bank accounts balance, businesses thrive, humans need reconciliation to ensure that relationships stay connected through struggles and tragedies. Commonly, friendships get betrayed, marriages dissolve, a parent power struggles with children, or families hurt one another.

Conciliation means to “bring together, unite, or make friends.” Reconciliation is needed when this bond breaks. Of course, this process is not easy but worth the journey.

Let Ron Huxley guide you through the challenges of reconciliation with your partner, family member, and friendships by scheduling an appointment. Click here!

Let’s take action. Try this Preventing Resentment Question:

Take time to sit down every week to ask the following question. Is there any unconfessed sin, unresolved hurt, or conflict from the last week that we need to seek reconciliation?

Work through conflicts by asking a Rebuilding Relationship Question:

What am I/you feeling? What do I/you need? How can I/we collaborate so I/we healthily meet that need?

When needing to ask forgiveness for past wrongs, try this Reconciliation Requesting Question:

1) Offer a genuine apology.

2) Verbalize what you can take responsibility for.

3) Share how hurting someone you care about feels to you.

4) Ask your partner what they need from you to heal and move forward.

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6 Tips for Better Relationships Today!

There are some things we can do in all our relationships to build and maintain strong bonds. This is true because underneath all our differences, likes, dislikes, and biases, we are all human beings who desire social connections. The tips below should be used in all your relationships to form bonds that will stand the test of time.

  1. Be appreciative

This might mean different things in different relationships, but the overarching sentiment is the same. When they do something kind for you or take the time to support you when you need it, be appreciative – acknowledge their care and concern.

2. Spend time together

It can be hard to find time to get together when we are all so busy, but it’s important for all relationships. If necessary, set up a standing appointment so that it just automatically happens. This makes sure it happens because you will get used to scheduling other things around it. 

3. Communicate honestly

Sometimes you may be tempted to bend the truth to avoid conflict, but your relationships will be much healthier overall if honesty is held in high regard. It’s possible, to be honest without being brutal. Choose your words carefully and be as diplomatic as possible, while still sharing your feelings openly and honestly.

4. Forgive faults

Forgive them for their eccentricities and annoying habits, and also forgive yourself for any mistakes you make. We all have faults and shortcomings that we bring with us into any relationship. Sometimes to keep the relationship strong, we need to just come to the conclusion that their presence in our lives is more important than the little habits that drive us crazy.

5. Support them

Intermingled between all the good times, there will surely be times when the other person could use a helping hand. Whether it’s helping them move, taking them dinner when a loved one has passed or being a sounding board for a difficult decision, any relationship worth having requires some TLC. And the other person deserves it, just as you do when you need it from them.

6. Do unto others

It’s just a good idea to always live by the Golden Rule, but it’s especially true in relationships that are important to us. If you wonder if something you might do is likely to upset them, chances are it’s better to talk to them about it first. Wouldn’t you want them to do the same for you? It’s better to err on the side of caution.

Get deeper relational repair with Ron Huxley. Schedule an online appointment today: Click here now!

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May is Mental Health Awareness Month

This past year presented so many different challenges and obstacles that tested our strength and resiliency. The global pandemic forced us to cope with situations we never even imagined, and a lot of us struggled with our mental health as a result. The good news is that there are tools and resources available that can support the well-being of individuals and communities.


Now, more than ever, we need to combat the stigma surrounding mental health concerns. That’s why this Mental Health Month Ron Huxley is highlighting the TraumaToolbox.com- what individuals can do throughout their daily lives to prioritize mental health, build resiliency, and continue to cope with the obstacles of COVID-19.


Throughout the pandemic, many people who had never experienced mental health challenges found themselves struggling for the first time. During the month of May, we are focusing on different topics that can help process the events of the past year and the feelings that surround them, while also building up skills and supports that extend beyond COVID-19.


We know that the past year forced many to accept tough situations that they had little to no control over. If you found that it impacted your mental health, you aren’t alone. In fact, of the almost half a million individuals that took the anxiety screening at MHAscreening.org, 79% showed symptoms of moderate to severe anxiety. However, there are practical tools that can help improve your mental health. We are focused on managing anger and frustration, recognizing when trauma may be affecting your mental health, challenging negative thinking patterns, and making time to take care of yourself.


It’s important to remember that working on your mental health and finding tools that help you thrive takes time. Change won’t happen overnight. Instead, by focusing on small changes, you can move through the stressors of the past year and develop long-term strategies to support yourself on an ongoing basis.


A great starting point for anyone who is ready to start prioritizing their mental health is to take a mental health screening at MHAscreening.org. It’s a quick, free, and confidential way for someone to assess their mental health and begin finding hope and healing.
Ultimately, during this month of May, Ron Huxley wants to remind everyone that mental illnesses are real, and recovery is possible.

Check out the many mental health tools create free at the TraumaToolbox.com.

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May is Mental Health Month

Mental Health Awareness Month (also referred to as “Mental Health Month”) has been observed in May in the United States since 1949, reaching millions of people in the United States through the media, local events, and screenings.

May is Mental Health Month

Mental Health Awareness Month began in the United States in 1949 by the Mental Health America-organization (then known as the National Association for Mental Health). Each year in mid-March Mental Health America releases a toolkit of materials to guide preparation for outreach activities during Mental Health Awareness Month. During the month of May, Mental Health America, its affiliates, and other organizations interested in mental health conduct a number of activities which are based on a different theme each year.

Get mental health tools free at FamilyHealer .tv

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Humility Allows Opportunity for Family Healing

Humility is a great opportunity for healing. It creates an ideal mental state that allows you to connect deeply with another human being. When you are in a humble space, I see our relationship as it is, not as I think it is… It restructures the nervous system to “fire and wire” with new neural networks that prepare us for change. This is why pain can bring breakthrough in our life and relationships. It is why loss can develop into growth. It’s not that you want to go through the pain and loss but it can be transformed into some new and precious.

Humility will break-through emotional programs of trauma from the past. In others words, you can get unstuck!

“The reward of humility and the fear of the Lord are riches, honor and life.” Proverbs 22:4

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How does trauma impact the family?

A fact sheet from the National Child Traumatic Stress Network.

All families experience trauma differently. Some factors such as the children’s age or the family’s culture or ethnicity may influence how the family copes and recovers. After traumatic experiences, family members often show signs of resilience. For some families, however, the stress and burden cause them to feel alone, overwhelmed, and less able to maintain vital family functions. Research demonstrates that trauma impacts all levels of the family:

■ Families that “come together” after traumatic experiences can strengthen bonds and hasten recovery. Families dealing with high stress, limited resources, and multiple trauma exposures often find their coping resources depleted. Their efforts to plan or problem solve are not effective, resulting in ongoing crises and discord.

■ Children, adolescents, and adult family members can experience mild, moderate, or severe posttraumatic stress symptoms. After traumatic exposure, some people grow stronger and develop a new appreciation for life. Others may struggle with continuing trauma-related problems that disrupt functioning in many areas of their lives.

■ Extended family relationships can offer sustaining resources in the form of family rituals and traditions, emotional support, and care giving. Some families who have had significant trauma across generations may experience current problems in functioning, and they risk transmitting the effects of trauma to the next generation.

■ Parent-child relationships have a central role in parents’ and children’s adjustment after trauma exposure. Protective, nurturing, and effective parental responses are positively associated with reduced symptoms in children. At the same time, parental stress, isolation, and burden can make parents less emotionally available to their children and less able to help them recover from trauma.

■ Adult intimate relationships can be a source of strength in coping with a traumatic experience. However, many intimate partners struggle with communication and have difficulty expressing emotion or maintaining intimacy, which make them less available to each other and increases the risk of separation, conflict, or interpersonal violence.

■ Sibling relationships that are close and supportive can offer a buffer against the negative effect of trauma, but siblings who feel disconnected or unprotected can have high conflict. Siblings not directly exposed to trauma can suffer secondary or vicarious traumatic stress; these symptoms mirror posttraumatic stress and interfere with functioning at home or school.

Download the complete fact sheet at http://TraumaToolbox.com and learn more practical tools on how to have a trauma-informed home. Contact Ron Huxley today to set up a therapy session or organize a seminar for your agency or event at rehuxley@gmail.com / 805-709-2023. You can click on the schedule a session link now on the home page if you live in the San Luis Obispo, Ca. or Santa Barbara, Ca. area.

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Just Like Me…

In a recent training on Trauma-Informed Care, I led the group through a mindfulness exercise that explored the nature of suffering. The goal was to bring a higher level of compassion for others in emotional pain.

Suffering refers to the state of undergoing pain, distress, or hardship. We know, in our heads, that everyone goes through difficult times but in our hearts, we neglect to connect with others, in their pain. This is because we are in pain too!

Professionals, who work with hurt people, are double-agents. They provide trauma-informed care and services to others AND they have experienced trauma too. We can be triggered by others pain and this will result in a distancing of emotions in order to keep ourselves safe. We sometimes call this a “professional distance” or “objectivity.” It might help us feel safer but it will also disconnect us from the heart of what we are trying to do in serving others. How to maintain this balance is the subject for another discussion. In the meantime, try this mindfulness exercise called “Just Like Me…” Examine how you feel before and after reading through it. Use it weekly or as often as you need to reconnect you with others who have experienced trauma and loss.

“Think of someone you like or dislike that you want to expect positive feelings and forgive. It help to think of that person who is similar to you. Take deep breaths and repeat after me…

This person has a body and a mind, just like me.
This person has feelings, emotions, and thoughts, just like me.
This person has in his or her life, experienced physical and emotional pain and suffering, just like me.
This person has at some point been sad, disappointed, angry, or hurt, just like me. This person has felt unworthy or inadequate, just like me.
This person worries and is frightened sometimes, just like me.
This person has longed for friendship, just like me.
This person is learning about life, just like me.
This person wants to be caring and kind to others, just like me.
This person wants to be content with what life has given, just like me.
This person wishes to be free from pain and suffering, just like me.
This person wishes to be safe and healthy, just like me.
This person wishes to be happy, just like me.
This person wishes to be loved, just like me.
Now, allow some wishes for well-being to arise:
I wish that this person have the strength, resources, and social support to navigate the difficulties in life with ease.
I wish that this person be free from pain and suffering.
I wish that this person be peaceful and happy.
I wish that this person be loved.
Because this person is a fellow human being, just like me.”

Need a therapist or trainer on healing from the hurt of trauma? Contact Ron Huxley today at rehuxley@gmail.com.

Take an online course on Trauma-Informed Care dealing with Trauma, Anxiety, Parenting, and more at http://FamilyHealerSchool.com