How to Learn From a Narcissist Without Becoming One!

According to a study published in the journal “Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin”, individuals who score higher on the narcissism scale also tend to have higher self-esteem, confidence, and assertiveness levels. These traits can be beneficial in certain situations, such as job interviews or negotiations, where self-assurance can help individuals secure better opportunities and outcomes.

Furthermore, the same study suggests that individuals with high levels of narcissism also tend to possess greater creativity and charisma. These qualities can help individuals become successful leaders and innovators in their fields.

However, it’s important to note that excessive levels of narcissism can also lead to negative consequences, such as strained relationships, conflicts, and isolation. It’s essential to find a balance between healthy self-assessment and self-aggrandizement.

By understanding and harnessing the positive aspects of narcissism, we can become more confident and effective individuals without sacrificing our empathy and authenticity.

  1. Cultivate Confidence, Not Arrogance:
    Having confidence is an incredible trait that can drive us towards success. It’s important to acknowledge our capabilities and achievements while respecting others and not diminishing their worth. When we nurture authentic confidence, it motivates us and uplifts those who surround us, leading to a constructive atmosphere for personal development.
  2. Seek Self-Validation through Personal Growth:
    Focus on your own self-improvement instead of seeking validation from others. Set achievable goals, learn new skills, and broaden your knowledge. By tracking your progress and finding satisfaction in it, you will be inspired to consistently develop and achieve greatness.
  3. Practice Empathy and Understanding:
    It’s true that narcissistic individuals may struggle with empathy, but we have the power to cultivate it within ourselves. One way to do this is by actively listening to those around us, seeking to understand their viewpoints, and forging genuine connections. By prioritizing empathy, we can build stronger and healthier relationships, fostering an environment of compassion and support.
  4. Gratitude: The Key to Humility:
    One way to combat narcissism is by practicing gratitude, which helps cultivate humility. Take a few moments each day to reflect on and appreciate the people, opportunities, and experiences that bring richness to your life. By doing so, you can foster a genuine connection with the world and cultivate a sense of humility.
  5. Have Ambition with Purpose:
    It’s perfectly okay to have high aspirations. Aim for the stars, establish purposeful goals, and put in the effort to accomplish them. By doing so, you will motivate those around you and direct your ambition toward making a favorable impact while unlocking your full potential.
  6. Embrace Accountability and Growth:
    It’s important for us to take responsibility for our actions in order to grow personally. We should recognize our mistakes, gain knowledge from them, and take ownership of them. This allows us to create an environment where we can develop and nurture integrity within ourselves.
  7. Balancing Self-Care and Consideration:
    It’s important to prioritize self-care, but finding balance is crucial. Take care of yourself while also considering the needs of those around you. Build healthy relationships by being attentive, supportive, and dependable. This balance will help you take care of yourself while maintaining positive connections with others.
  8. Building Resilience:
    As we go through life, we face various challenges, but with resilience, we can bounce back and overcome them. It’s essential to develop emotional strength, learn from setbacks, and maintain a healthy level of self-esteem. Constructive feedback can be a valuable tool for growth, allowing us to adapt, overcome obstacles, and stay on track toward achieving personal fulfillment.


By exploring the positive qualities within narcissism, we unlock valuable lessons that can enhance our lives. By cultivating confidence, empathy, gratitude, ambition, and accountability, we foster personal growth and positively impact the world around us. So, let’s embrace these lessons, learn from narcissism, and become the best versions of ourselves while nurturing genuine connections with others.

This is the Year of Letting Go of Resentments

Resentments are defined as the “bitter indignation at being mistreated.” It is a hard feeling that creates discontent, hostility, bitterness, and an inability to trust others.

It is destructive to relationships because it is a hook to the traumatic events of the past. When we are tied to our histories, we cannot fully enjoy the present, and the future feels like a painful rerun. We make vows that we will never let anyone hurt us like we were hurt before. Unfortunately, these vows isolate and insulate us from loving relationships.

Resentment is connected to our ego. Our ego needs to be correct, and it needs to be good. When we experience trauma, it can strip away our dignity, causing us to get needs met in unhealthy ways or won’t allow anyone else to help meet those needs. We believe that “I can do it all by myself” but it feels safer when we are alone. Unfortunately, cutting others out of our lives is a very lonely life.

Resentment can also keep us stuck in a victim role. Victims need abusers to maintain this position. Therefore, our ego will fault others, reinforce the belief that people “can’t be trusted”, and only see the negative in the circumstances. We will gravitate to rescuers to make us feel good and validate our victim-mindedness.

WRITE BRAIN/RIGHT BRAIN:

Write about ways resentment keeps you stuck in the past. What are the struggles you have experienced that make trusting others difficult? Have you chosen to be right over having a relationship? Journal about ways to select connections first. Visualize what the world of your ego looks like, who lives there, and what beliefs you take as truth in your ego world.

How can you imagine a new, different world where you feel safe and secure? How would you do it this time if you could do a situation over? Have a chat with your “ego” and offer it comfort and seek what it needs to care for it healthily?

Explore your resiliency. You didn’t want to go through tough times, but you got through them. What strengths did you discover about yourself? How did this challenging experience change your priorities? Celebrate how you have grown instead of feeding the monster of resentment.