Posted on

Helping Children Make Friends After Bullying

Bullying leaves deep emotional scars on children, making it difficult for them to forge new friendships. The impact of bullying can be far-reaching, affecting a child’s self-esteem and social interactions. However, with understanding, support, and proactive measures, children can regain their confidence and establish meaningful connections. In this article, we explore the story of a child who faced challenges in making friends after experiencing different types of bullying. We also delve into statistics on bullying and discuss strategies to help children overcome these obstacles.

A Personal Journey:
Meet Alex, a resilient 10-year-old who endured various forms of bullying—physical, verbal, and cyberbullying. These traumatic experiences left Alex feeling isolated, fearful, and hesitant to engage with others. Making new friends became a daunting task due to the lingering impact of bullying.

Understanding the Prevalence of Bullying:
Bullying is a widespread issue that affects countless children worldwide. According to recent statistics:

  • Approximately 1 in 3 students report being bullied at some point during their school years. (National Center for Educational Statistics)
  • Verbal bullying is the most common form, with 70% of students reporting they have witnessed verbal bullying in their schools. (StopBullying.gov)
  • Cyberbullying affects about 15% to 20% of students, with a higher prevalence among older children and teenagers. (National Bullying Prevention Center)

Types of Bullying: Bullying takes various forms, each leaving a significant impact on children’s well-being. These types include:

  1. Physical Bullying: Involves physical aggression, such as hitting, kicking, or pushing. It often leaves visible marks and can be accompanied by verbal abuse.
  2. Verbal Bullying: Involves the use of derogatory language, insults, or spreading rumors to humiliate or belittle the victim emotionally.
  3. Cyberbullying: Occurs through digital platforms, including social media, online messaging, or email. It involves sending hurtful messages, spreading rumors, or sharing embarrassing content.

Strategies to Overcome Bullying and Build New Connections:

  1. Building Self-Esteem: Encourage children like Alex to engage in activities they enjoy and excel at. Praising their unique qualities and strengths boosts self-esteem and confidence.
  2. Developing Empathy: Help children understand the importance of empathy and how it fosters meaningful connections. Discuss emotions, perspectives, and the impact of their experiences on others.
  3. Enhancing Social Skills: Engage children in group activities, clubs, or classes where they can interact with peers who share similar interests. Role-playing social scenarios can also improve communication skills.
  4. Creating a Supportive Environment: Collaboration with teachers, parents, and school staff is essential. Implement anti-bullying initiatives, promote inclusivity, and provide opportunities for positive peer interactions.
  5. Seeking Professional Help: If needed, encourage children to seek support from mental health professionals who can help them navigate emotions, develop coping strategies, and address any lingering trauma.
  6. Encouraging Small Steps: Celebrate every effort a child makes towards building new friendships, emphasizing that progress is valuable regardless of the outcome. Remind them that genuine connections take time.
  7. Promoting Resilience: Teach children the importance of resilience and perseverance in overcoming the challenges they face. Encourage them to seek support, embrace setbacks as learning experiences, and celebrate their strengths.

Bullying has a significant impact on children, making it difficult for them to establish new friendships. However, armed with statistics on bullying and equipped with strategies to overcome these challenges, children like Alex can rebuild their confidence and connect with others. By fostering self-esteem, empathy, and social skills, and by creating a supportive environment, children can rise above the scars of bullying, forge meaningful connections, and thrive socially and emotionally. With determination, understanding, and support from caring adults, every child can experience the joy of genuine friendships.

Posted on

7 Skills for Teaching Your Child to Stand-Up to Bullies


Skill 1: Stay Connected

Bullies operate by making their victims feel alone and powerless. Children reclaim their power when they make and maintain connections with faithful friends and supportive adults.

Skill 2: Create Awareness

Sometimes kids feel like adults never do anything–so why even bother to tell them about incidence of bullying? While there are cases when adults fail to acknowledge the seriousness of a situation, it is more often the case that grown-ups are not aware of what is going on. Bullies use relational aggression to inflict their violence in subtle, socially acceptable ways that tend not to register on an adult’s radar. Teach your child that it is her job to create awareness. Be clear in teaching kids that telling an adult about bullying is not a mark of cowardice, but rather a bold, powerful move.

Skill 3: Re-define Tattling

My daughter came to me yesterday, worried that if she told the bus driver about a boy who was spitting on her, then she would be labeled as a “tattletale.” I told her that this is exactly what the bully wanted her to think! Isolation is a bully’s method of intimidation. In fact, it is only by telling an adult that kids can begin to re-balance the power dynamic. When a bully realizes that he will not be able to keep a victim isolated, he immediately begins to lose power.

Skill 4: Act Quickly

The longer a bully has power over a victim, the stronger the hold becomes. Oftentimes, bullying begins in a relatively mild form–name calling, teasing, or minor physical aggression. After the bully has tested the waters and confirmed that a victim is not going to tell and adult and stand up for his rights, the aggression worsens. Teach your child that taking action against the bully–and taking it sooner rather than later–is the best way to gain and retain power.

Skill 5: Respond Assertively 

The more a bully thinks he can pick on a victim without a response, the more he will do it. That’s why an assertive response is so effective in countering bullying. Kids who master the skills of assertiveness are comfortable in the middle ground between aggressive comebacks that up the ante for the next go-round, and passive responses that invite further abuse.

Skill 6: Use Simple, Unemotional Language

Assertive kids use simple, unemotional, direct language to let bullies know that they do not intend to be victimized. Why should you teach your child to use responses that are “unemotional?” Indications that a person can be emotionally impacted signal a bully that he will be able to wield power easily. By encouraging your child to respond without anger or fear, you teach her how to portray confidence. The bully, in turn, detects less potential for wielding control.

Skill 7: Use Body Language to Reinforce Words

When coaching your child in the skills of assertive communication, it is helpful to practice using body language to reinforce words. Teach your child to employ these simple, non-verbal assertive strategies that indicate to a bully that your child means what she says:

• Maintain eye contact
• Keep your voice calm and even
• Stand an appropriate distance from the bully
• Use the bully’s name when speaking to him

Teach your child that emotional non-verbals, such as looking away, raising her voice, or shrinking back are all dead giveaways that the bully has gotten to her.

via psychologytoday.com

Ron Huxley’s Reasons: It is a sad state of affairs when we have to teach our children how to deal with bullies but that is exactly what so many parents have to do today. Without these skills our children can be victims in school settings. Share your thoughts on this topic with us!