Posted on

Violence Anonymous: A Path to Recovery for Traumatized Individuals

Violence Anonymous (VA) is a 12-step recovery program designed to help individuals break the cycle of violence in their lives. Whether the violence occurred during adulthood or childhood, VA provides a supportive community for those seeking to overcome emotional, physical, or psychological violence. This article explores how VA can be a vital resource for traumatized individuals seeking help and recovery.

Understanding Violence Anonymous

Violence Anonymous is modeled after the 12-step programs used by Alcoholics Anonymous and other recovery groups. It is open to anyone who wants to stop the cycle of violence in their relationships and lives. The program defines violence broadly, encompassing any harmful thinking, action, or behavior that adversely affects others or oneself. This includes deceit, manipulation, neglect, threats, abuse, and misuse of power.

Key Components of Violence Anonymous

  1. 12-Step Program: The core of VA is its 12-step program, which guides members through a process of self-examination, acknowledgment of their violent behaviors, and making amends. The steps emphasize the importance of a spiritual awakening and reliance on a higher power to overcome violent tendencies.
  2. Meetings: Regular meetings provide a safe space for members to share their experiences, strength, hope, and honesty. These gatherings help individuals learn about the many faces of violence and remind them that there is a solution. Meetings are crucial for deepening recovery and carrying the message of VA to those who still suffer.
  3. Sponsorship: Working with a sponsor who has experience with the 12 steps of VA is essential. Sponsors help keep members focused and grounded, providing guidance and support as they navigate their recovery journey.
  4. Literature and Readings: VA offers literature that helps members understand their relationship to violence and reminds them of the solutions to violent behavior. Reading these materials between meetings can reinforce the principles of the program and increase awareness of triggers and responses.
  5. Service: Engaging in service activities, such as attending and chairing meetings, reading literature, and sponsoring others, strengthens personal recovery and contributes to the growth of the VA community.
  6. Nonviolent Communication: VA promotes the use of Nonviolent Communication (NVC) to express feelings and needs without resorting to the drama triangle of victim, persecutor, or rescuer. NVC fosters cooperative solutions and deepens connections, enhancing authenticity and well-being.
  7. Prayer and Meditation: These practices help members acknowledge the limits of their own power and seek strength from a spiritual source. Prayer and meditation open individuals to a state of being where they can transcend their dependence on violence.
  8. Awareness and Self-Care: Developing an intimate understanding of violence in oneself and others is crucial. VA encourages members to respond consciously rather than react unconsciously to life situations. Self-care practices, such as maintaining physical health and emotional well-being, are also emphasized.

How VA Helps Traumatized Individuals

For individuals who have experienced trauma, VA offers a structured and supportive environment to address and heal from violent behaviors. The program’s emphasis on shared experiences and mutual support helps members feel understood and less isolated. By working through the 12 steps, individuals can confront their past traumas, make amends, and develop healthier ways of relating to others.

The spiritual component of VA provides a sense of hope and purpose, which can be particularly beneficial for those who feel lost or overwhelmed by their past experiences. The program’s focus on nonviolent communication and self-awareness helps members develop the skills needed to build healthier, more fulfilling relationships.

Violence Anonymous offers a comprehensive approach to recovery for individuals seeking to break free from the cycle of violence. Through its 12-step program, supportive community, and emphasis on spiritual growth, VA provides the tools and resources needed for lasting change. For traumatized individuals, VA can be a beacon of hope, guiding them towards a life of peace, prosperity, and well-being.

By participating in VA, individuals can find the support they need to overcome their violent behaviors and build a brighter future for themselves and their loved ones.

Posted on

Understanding Traumas Impact on Individuals and Communities

Trauma is not just an individual experience; it ripples through families, neighborhoods, and entire communities, shaping the social fabric and influencing the well-being of all its members.” – Dr. Judith Herman, Clinical Psychologist and Trauma Expert.

Trauma is a pervasive and often misunderstood experience that can have profound effects on individuals and communities. Understanding the nature of trauma, its impact, and the expected reactions it elicits is crucial for building a supportive and empathetic community. 

In this issue of the Trauma Champions Newsletter, we will explore the definition of trauma, its far-reaching effects, and the different types of trauma that individuals may experience. By gaining a deeper understanding of trauma, we can better support those who have been affected and work towards creating trauma-informed communities.

Defining Trauma: 

Trauma is not limited to physical injuries; it encompasses emotional and psychological wounds that result from distressing events or experiences. These events can be singular, such as an accident or natural disaster, or prolonged, such as ongoing abuse or neglect. Trauma can also result from systemic injustices, discrimination, or the effects of war and conflict. It is essential to recognize that trauma is a deeply personal experience, and individuals may respond differently to similar events based on their unique circumstances and resilience.

Impact on Individuals and Communities:

The impact of trauma extends beyond the individual, affecting families, neighborhoods, and entire communities. Trauma can disrupt social connections, erode trust, and create cycles of adversity that perpetuate its effects. It may manifest in various ways, including mental health challenges, substance abuse, relationship difficulties, and physical health issues. Furthermore, trauma can contribute to the perpetuation of violence, crime, and social instability if left unaddressed. Understanding the collective impact of trauma is essential for fostering a compassionate and supportive community environment.

Types of Trauma and Common Reactions: 

Trauma can take many forms, each with its own challenges and responses. Some common types of trauma include:

  • Acute Trauma: Resulting from a single distressing event, such as an accident, assault, or natural disaster.
  • Complex Trauma: Arising from prolonged exposure to traumatic experiences, such as childhood abuse, domestic violence, or war trauma.
  • Intergenerational Trauma: Transmitted across generations, often stemming from historical injustices, colonization, or cultural trauma.
  • Systemic Trauma: Caused by institutional oppression, discrimination, and social inequalities that impact marginalized communities.

Individuals’ reactions to trauma can vary widely, encompassing emotional distress, dissociation, hypervigilance, and a range of coping mechanisms. Recognizing that these responses are adaptive strategies developed in the face of overwhelming experiences is essential.

For more in-depth insights and education on trauma, the following resources can provide valuable information and guidance:

  • The National Child Traumatic Stress Network (NCTSN) offers various resources and training materials on trauma-informed care and trauma response.
  • The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) provides publications, toolkits, and webinars on trauma-informed approaches and trauma-specific interventions.
  • Trauma-Informed Care Implementation Resource Center: Offers practical guidance and best practices for implementing trauma-informed care in various settings, including communities and organizations.

By educating ourselves and our communities about the nature of trauma and its impact, we can take meaningful steps toward creating environments that support healing, resilience, and understanding for all individuals affected by trauma.

Healing Strategies for Trauma’s Impact on Communities: 

  1. Community-Based Support Programs: Establishing support groups and community-based programs that provide a safe space for individuals to share their experiences, receive empathy, and access resources. Peer support and group interventions can foster a sense of connection and understanding among community members.
  2. Trauma-Informed Education and Training: Implementing training programs to educate community members, including educators, healthcare providers, and law enforcement, about trauma-informed care and its impact. This can help create a more supportive and understanding environment for those affected by trauma.
  3. Culturally Responsive Services: Developing culturally responsive services that respect and honor the diverse backgrounds and experiences within the community. This includes providing language-specific resources, culturally sensitive mental health support, and addressing the unique needs of different cultural groups.
  4. Community Resilience-Building Initiatives: Engaging in community-building activities, such as art therapy workshops, mindfulness practices, and community events that promote resilience and positive coping strategies. These initiatives can strengthen social connections and promote a sense of collective well-being.
  5. Advocacy and Policy Changes: Engaging in advocacy efforts to influence policy changes and resource allocation that address the systemic issues contributing to trauma within the community. This may involve advocating for increased access to mental health services, trauma-informed schools, and social support programs.
  6. Engaging in Collective Healing Rituals: Creating opportunities for collective healing rituals, such as community gatherings, memorial events, and storytelling circles, to honor the experiences of those affected by trauma and provide a space for communal healing and reflection.

These strategies can create a more supportive, resilient community that fosters healing and empowerment for traumatized individuals.

Posted on

Had any assumptions shattered lately?

The last two years have been one of daily uncertainty and fear, but a crisis is also a great revealer of the myths and idols we hold. It “knocks us off our thrones” and breaks our “assumptive worlds.” Our assumptions are the beliefs we hold about who we are and the world we live in…at times, like these, they don’t hold up. In fact, they can shatter into thousands of meaningless thoughts.

In social psychology, shattered assumptions theory proposes that traumatic events can change how victims and survivors view themselves and the world. We all have three inherent assumptions including “overall benevolence, the meaningfulness of the world, and self-worth.” They are the bedrock of our conceptual system, and as such, they are the ones we are least aware of and least likely to challenge. We become confident in our beliefs and use them to plan and act in daily living. If nothing challenges them they allow our lives to move along smoothly.

Sadly, traumatic life events shatter core assumptions, and coping with them requires a new effort to construct more realistic and viable assumptions. We have to rebuild our belief systems to fit the new world we live in.

Core Beliefs:

The world is benevolent

The world is meaningful

The self is worthy

This can be painful for people of faith who end up questioning their faith. When our assumptive worlds shatter, it causes believers to questions the goodness of God. They might “assume” that God is silent or uncaring. The promises they believed must be wrong since things didn’t work out the way they “believed.” Trying to reconcile a good God to their adverse life situations may turn some to question themselves, wondering if they ever heard God speak into their lives or if some sin or trauma from the past has made them unworthy of mercy.

I mean, if God never changes, then the problem must be ourselves, right? Christians believe that when they become followers they are “new creations.” New creations have to have renewed minds to find new beliefs about God’s goodness and nature in their lives. Renewal is exactly what we need when our assumptions become shattered. Neurologists called this neuroplasticity.

Neuroplasticity is the brain’s ability to restructure itself through training and practice, thereby creating new neuropathways in the human nervous system. Neuroplasticity, renewed minds, and rebuilt belief systems are about personal growth that is sometimes only possible after trauma.

The reason that believers feel peace after giving their lives to follow the Christian faith is that new neuropathways are being created. Transformation or growth is occurring. From a more secular viewpoint, life has a way of creating maturity in our thinking. The trick is how to not become bitter and negative afterwords.

There is a favorite verse of mine that goes: “Do not worry about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.  –Philippians 4:6-7 (NRSV)” Prayer and meditation increase brain neuroplasticity and makes renewal possible. Allowing our minds to let go of distractions and slow down helps us focus on what we control and let go of what we cannot. In Alcoholics Anonymous, this is the path to serenity.

After a shattering event, people are able to discover strength they didn’t know that had in them. They also find new purposes and seek out deeper connections than before. Faith also grows in people after difficulty. They start to see deeper meaning and value in their life. This is called Post-Traumatic Growth in contrast to Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.

Would you like assistance recovering from a shattering event or trauma? Need new tools for your organization or group? Contact Ron Huxley today!

Posted on

Talking to Children about Violence

This article is a reprint on how to talk to children about violence. Unfortunately, the information is still timely as shootings continue to occur around the globe negatively impacting children and their development. Regardless of the specific incident, this blog will help parent understand the process for safely communicating with children.

Violence in society is a major issue for families today. It’s everywhere we look, it seems, and as a parent it disturbs me deeply. Part of the job of parenting is to protect our children from the ills, if not the evils of the world, but what do you do when it comes looking for you. Recent sniper attacks, school suicide-killings and the outbreak of fighting around the world, makes talking to our children about violence a necessary responsibility.

It would be easy to wait until our children bring up the issue and not take a lead role in discussing violence with them. Unfortunately, too many children take in the information, attempt to process it with their limited experience and understanding, and never say a word to an adult. Just because they don’t initiate, doesn’t mean that parents shouldn’t. For these children, talking about the violence may relieve feelings of anxiety and insecurity they were bottling up inside. Children get their sense of safety from the attitudes and behaviors of adults, primarily parents. How we act and talk will have a direct impact of the emotional well being of children.

The first step to talking to children about violence is to acknowledge their thoughts and feelings about the violence. The best way is the simplest: Ask them what they think or feel. This will give parents a barometer about where the child is at and what concerns need to be addressed. Demonstrate that you are willing to hear it and give your child full attention without judgement. Too many parents are quick to jump into a child’s comments and make them seem invalid. A parent might dismiss their child’s fears as unnecessary: “You shouldn’t feel that way” or “You don’t need to worry about that.” A parent might even reply that the child is being silly, stupid, or overreacting for what they are thinking and feeling. This is a sure method to get a child to shut down emotionally and not communicate with a parent, now and in the future. Get on a child’s level by sitting or kneeling down when talking to them. And get rid of any distractions (i.e., turn off the television or radio). Make the conversation about them not you.

The second step is to clarify and/or reflect back a child’s comments. For example, a parent might say, “Tell me more about your fears of someone killing you” or “What do you mean you think the world is going to end.” This also communicates to a child that what they have to say is important and not trivial. It makes parents more aware of the underlying issues. If a child’s comments are clear then repeat back to the child what you heard them say. Don’t be a parrot; just summarize it, so that you and the child are on the same ground mentally.

The third step is to share your feelings and value about the violence. This means you must be aware of what they are before you ask your child to share. How do you feel about the violence? What is your value-system about killing, death, and violence? Is it a social, moral, or relational issue for you or does it encompass all three. Once you are aware of where you stand, you can communicate this with your child. Share in a direct, simple, and honest manner. How you say something may be more important than what you say. But be sure to say it in a matter of fact way.

What you say will vary depending on your values and the age of your child. Young children have difficulty separating reality from fantasy and it may be important to describe the difference. For example, a parent of a young child might state: “I know that the cartoons you watch sometimes have characters who shoot one another but that is not real. In real life, when someone gets shot they get hurt and they might even die.” Avoid in-depth explanations for younger children. They will lose attention and not be able to process long descriptions. One to two sentences are more than enough. Additionally, parents can use drawings and children’s book about fighting, violence, etc. Always follow up with reassurances that you love them, will do your best to care and protect them, and that they are safe.

Older children may be able to verbalize their thoughts and feelings more distinctly but don’t let that be an excuse not to talk about it. Use the same principles as with younger children but feel free to talk more deeply about the violence. Watch the news report together or read the newspaper article out loud, pausing to discussing thoughts and feelings. Ask them if they know of anyone who has been the victim of violence. The older they are the more likely they will know or have heard of someone. Talk about violence that has occurred towards them or in their daily life, such as school. Guide the older child toward your values without forcing them on them or telling them how they should believe. And look at ways to get involved in your community or through national relief efforts to help victims of violence. Being proactive will give a child a sense of power versus powerlessness.

What we say to children is important and we must say something. Sticking our heads in the sand will not improve the situation. Actually, ignoring or dismissing the topic of violence will increase a child’s anxiety and fears. But even more importantly, how we talk about violence will have profound impact on our child’s sense of self, their understanding of right from wrong, and their relationship with the parent.