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Back-To-School Stress: Supporting Anxious Children and Coping with School Refusal

As summer days give way to the crisp air of autumn, a familiar but often challenging chapter unfolds in the lives of many families: the return to school. While back-to-school excitement fills the air for some, it’s essential to acknowledge that many children experience varying degrees of anxiety, panic, or outright refusal when faced with the prospect of returning to the classroom. This article aims to shed light on the common phenomenon of back-to-school stress, with a particular focus on parents whose children are feeling anxious, panicky, or refusing to go to school.

Understanding Back-to-School Stress

Back-to-school stress is a perfectly normal response to the significant changes that come with the start of a new school year. Even under typical circumstances, children might experience heightened anxiety as they grapple with new teachers, classmates, schedules, and academic challenges. However, the COVID-19 pandemic has introduced a new layer of complexity to this issue. Extended periods of remote learning, social isolation, and uncertainty have intensified feelings of anxiety in many students.

Identifying the Signs

Parents should be vigilant in recognizing signs of back-to-school stress in their children, which can manifest in various ways. Some common indicators include:

  1. Physical Symptoms: Headaches, stomachaches, nausea, and sleep disturbances are often physical manifestations of stress in children.
  2. Emotional Changes: Increased irritability, mood swings, tearfulness, or clinginess may signal underlying anxiety.
  3. Behavioral Shifts: Refusal to attend school, withdrawal from friends and family, and reluctance to participate in activities they once enjoyed are red flags.
  4. Academic Struggles: A sudden drop in academic performance can be a sign that a child is struggling to cope with stress.
  5. Expressing Worry: Children may voice concerns about various aspects of school, such as making friends, academic pressure, or fear of bullying.

Supporting Anxious Children

  1. Open Communication: Encourage open and non-judgmental communication with your child. Let them express their fears and concerns without interruption, and validate their feelings.
  2. Normalize Anxiety: It’s essential to normalize anxiety as a common human experience. Share your own experiences with stress and discuss healthy ways to manage it.
  3. Establish Routines: Predictable routines provide a sense of security and can help alleviate anxiety. Create a daily schedule that includes time for homework, relaxation, and family activities.
  4. Practice Relaxation Techniques: Teach your child relaxation techniques such as deep breathing, meditation, or mindfulness exercises to manage stress.
  5. Seek Professional Help: If your child’s anxiety is severe or persistent, consider consulting a mental health professional who specializes in working with children and adolescents.

Overcoming School Refusal

School refusal, when a child adamantly refuses to attend school, can be an alarming development for parents. It’s essential to address this issue promptly:

  1. Identify the Underlying Cause: School refusal can stem from various factors, such as academic pressure, social anxiety, bullying, or a fear of separation from parents. Pinpointing the root cause is crucial.
  2. Collaborate with School Personnel: Work closely with teachers, counselors, and school administrators to develop a plan for easing your child back into school. They can offer valuable insights and support.
  3. Gradual Reintegration: Start with shorter school days or partial attendance if necessary, gradually increasing the time your child spends in school.
  4. Professional Help: Consider seeking help from a child psychologist or therapist who specializes in school refusal. They can provide strategies and interventions tailored to your child’s needs.

Back-to-school stress is a common experience for many children, but it can be particularly challenging for those who feel anxious, panicky or refuse to go to school. As parents, it’s our responsibility to provide support, understanding, and guidance during these challenging times. By recognizing the signs, maintaining open communication, and seeking professional help when necessary, we can help our children overcome their anxieties and ensure a successful return to school. Remember that you’re not alone in this journey, and there are resources available to assist both you and your child in navigating back-to-school stress.

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The Magic of the Physiological Sigh

The fastest and most efficient way to calm down the over-aroused nervous system (think “panic attack”) is by using what is called the “physiological sigh.” The physiological sigh is a breathing technique with several benefits for physical and mental health. It is a natural reflex that we all do occasionally, but it can also be done intentionally to help reduce stress and anxiety.

When we sigh, we are taking in a more significant amount of air than we usually do. This helps reinflate the alveoli, the tiny air sacs in our lungs. The alveoli are responsible for exchanging oxygen and carbon dioxide, so when they are deflated, it can lead to a buildup of carbon dioxide in the blood. This can make us feel stressed and anxious.

The extended exhale of the physiological sigh helps to remove the excess carbon dioxide from the blood. This can help to reduce stress and anxiety, and it can also improve our overall mood.

The physiological sigh can also help to improve our sleep. When we are stressed, our bodies produce more stress hormone cortisol. Cortisol can interfere with sleep, making it difficult to fall asleep. The physiological sigh can help reduce cortisol levels, making it easier to sleep.

To do the physiological sigh, follow these steps:

  1. Sit or lie down in a comfortable position.
  2. Take a double inhale through the nose, filling your lungs to capacity.
  3. Hold your breath for a few seconds.
  4. Release one long exhale, making a sighing sound.
  5. Repeat steps 3-5 more times.

You can do the physiological sigh as often as you like. It is a safe and effective way to reduce stress and anxiety and can also help improve your sleep.

Here are some additional benefits of the physiological sigh:

  • Improves oxygen intake
  • Reduces heart rate
  • Relieves muscle tension
  • Promotes relaxation and sleep
  • Improves mood

If you are looking for a natural way to reduce stress and anxiety, the physiological sigh is an excellent option. It is easy to do and has several benefits for your physical and mental health.

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How to Learn From a Narcissist Without Becoming One!

According to a study published in the journal “Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin”, individuals who score higher on the narcissism scale also tend to have higher self-esteem, confidence, and assertiveness levels. These traits can be beneficial in certain situations, such as job interviews or negotiations, where self-assurance can help individuals secure better opportunities and outcomes.

Furthermore, the same study suggests that individuals with high levels of narcissism also tend to possess greater creativity and charisma. These qualities can help individuals become successful leaders and innovators in their fields.

However, it’s important to note that excessive levels of narcissism can also lead to negative consequences, such as strained relationships, conflicts, and isolation. It’s essential to find a balance between healthy self-assessment and self-aggrandizement.

By understanding and harnessing the positive aspects of narcissism, we can become more confident and effective individuals without sacrificing our empathy and authenticity.

  1. Cultivate Confidence, Not Arrogance:
    Having confidence is an incredible trait that can drive us towards success. It’s important to acknowledge our capabilities and achievements while respecting others and not diminishing their worth. When we nurture authentic confidence, it motivates us and uplifts those who surround us, leading to a constructive atmosphere for personal development.
  2. Seek Self-Validation through Personal Growth:
    Focus on your own self-improvement instead of seeking validation from others. Set achievable goals, learn new skills, and broaden your knowledge. By tracking your progress and finding satisfaction in it, you will be inspired to consistently develop and achieve greatness.
  3. Practice Empathy and Understanding:
    It’s true that narcissistic individuals may struggle with empathy, but we have the power to cultivate it within ourselves. One way to do this is by actively listening to those around us, seeking to understand their viewpoints, and forging genuine connections. By prioritizing empathy, we can build stronger and healthier relationships, fostering an environment of compassion and support.
  4. Gratitude: The Key to Humility:
    One way to combat narcissism is by practicing gratitude, which helps cultivate humility. Take a few moments each day to reflect on and appreciate the people, opportunities, and experiences that bring richness to your life. By doing so, you can foster a genuine connection with the world and cultivate a sense of humility.
  5. Have Ambition with Purpose:
    It’s perfectly okay to have high aspirations. Aim for the stars, establish purposeful goals, and put in the effort to accomplish them. By doing so, you will motivate those around you and direct your ambition toward making a favorable impact while unlocking your full potential.
  6. Embrace Accountability and Growth:
    It’s important for us to take responsibility for our actions in order to grow personally. We should recognize our mistakes, gain knowledge from them, and take ownership of them. This allows us to create an environment where we can develop and nurture integrity within ourselves.
  7. Balancing Self-Care and Consideration:
    It’s important to prioritize self-care, but finding balance is crucial. Take care of yourself while also considering the needs of those around you. Build healthy relationships by being attentive, supportive, and dependable. This balance will help you take care of yourself while maintaining positive connections with others.
  8. Building Resilience:
    As we go through life, we face various challenges, but with resilience, we can bounce back and overcome them. It’s essential to develop emotional strength, learn from setbacks, and maintain a healthy level of self-esteem. Constructive feedback can be a valuable tool for growth, allowing us to adapt, overcome obstacles, and stay on track toward achieving personal fulfillment.


By exploring the positive qualities within narcissism, we unlock valuable lessons that can enhance our lives. By cultivating confidence, empathy, gratitude, ambition, and accountability, we foster personal growth and positively impact the world around us. So, let’s embrace these lessons, learn from narcissism, and become the best versions of ourselves while nurturing genuine connections with others.

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Why Your Stuffed Animal is a Comforting Object…

The concept of transitional objects originated from the work of renowned psychoanalyst D.W. Winnicott in the mid-20th century. Winnicott introduced the idea that particular objects, often soft and comforting, like stuffed animals or blankets, play a transitional role in a child’s life as they navigate the process of growing independence. These objects, typically chosen by the child themselves, help them feel secure and provide a sense of continuity and comfort during transition or stress, such as separation from their primary caregiver.

Trauma-informed care is an approach to providing support and treatment that recognizes the prevalence and impact of trauma on individuals. It involves creating an environment of safety, trust, and empowerment for those who have experienced trauma. In a trauma-informed care framework, professionals consider the potential effects of trauma on a person’s behavior, emotions, and overall well-being. They prioritize their physical and emotional safety, provide choices and autonomy, and promote a collaborative and strengths-based approach to healing.

Finding Comfort from Your “Stuffy”:

For several reasons, a stuffed animal can be a comforting object to someone who has experienced trauma, even into adulthood. First, a stuffed animal’s soft texture and familiar presence can provide comfort and security. It can remind them of a time when they felt safe and protected, helping to alleviate anxiety or distress.

Additionally, a stuffed animal can become a symbolic representation of emotional support and companionship. It may be a constant presence that offers unconditional love and understanding, especially during emotional distress. This can be particularly important for individuals who have experienced trauma, as they may find it challenging to trust or connect with others.

Furthermore, a stuffed animal can provide a tangible outlet for soothing and self-soothing behaviors. It can be squeezed, held, or cuddled, releasing tension and promoting relaxation. Engaging with the stuffed animal in this way can create a calming effect and help regulate emotions during moments of distress.

Moreover, the familiarity and consistency of a stuffed animal can create a sense of stability and predictability, which is particularly valuable for individuals who have experienced trauma. It can act as a reliable anchor in their lives, offering a sense of control and reassurance when other aspects may feel uncertain or overwhelming.

Self-Soothing Strategies:

DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy) self-soothing activities are techniques commonly used in therapy to help individuals manage distress and regulate their emotions. DBT is a cognitive-behavioral therapy that teaches individuals skills to improve emotional regulation, interpersonal effectiveness, and distress tolerance. Self-soothing activities in DBT aim to help individuals calm themselves during times of heightened emotional intensity or distress. These activities can vary widely but often involve engaging the senses, such as listening to calming music, using aromatherapy, taking a warm bath, practicing deep breathing exercises, or engaging in gentle physical activity like yoga or walking.

By utilizing self-soothing activities, individuals can cultivate a sense of self-care and emotional regulation, promoting resilience and well-being in the face of challenging situations or traumatic experiences.

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Understanding Borderline Personality Disorder: Nine Classic Symptoms and Their Impact on Relationships

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is a mental health condition that affects how a person thinks, feels, and behaves. It can be challenging for individuals with BPD and their loved ones to navigate the disorder, as it often involves intense emotions, unstable relationships, and impulsive behaviors. In this article, we will discuss the nine classic symptoms of BPD and how they can impact relationships.

Sarah has been in a relationship with Jack for several months. At first, everything seemed perfect. Jack was kind, attentive, and romantic, and Sarah felt like she had finally found the one. However, over time, she began to notice some strange behaviors that she couldn’t explain.

For example, Jack would become extremely jealous and possessive whenever Sarah spent time with her friends. He would accuse her of cheating on him or abandoning him, even when she was only gone for a few hours. Sarah tried to reassure him, but no matter what she did, he always seemed to find a reason to be upset.

Another time, Sarah and Jack got into an argument about something trivial, and Jack suddenly became enraged. He began yelling at her, calling her names, and throwing objects around the room. Sarah was terrified and didn’t know what to do. When she tried to leave, Jack begged her to stay and promised that he would never act like that again.

Despite these warning signs, Sarah remained committed to the relationship. She believed that Jack loved her and that his behavior was just a result of his intense emotions. However, as time went on, she began to feel like she was walking on eggshells around him. She never knew when he would suddenly become angry or upset, and she felt like she had to constantly tiptoe around him to avoid triggering his outbursts.

Eventually, Sarah started to feel like she was losing herself in the relationship. She had always been independent and confident, but now she felt like she was living in a constant state of anxiety and uncertainty. She tried to talk to Jack about her concerns, but he always dismissed her and told her that she was overreacting.

One day, Sarah found herself feeling so overwhelmed and hopeless that she contemplated suicide. She knew that something had to change, but she didn’t know how to break free from the cycle of abuse and dysfunction that she had become trapped in.

Sarah’s story illustrates many of the classic symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder. Jack’s intense emotions, fear of abandonment, unstable relationships, impulsive behaviors, and inappropriate anger all contributed to the toxic dynamic between them. Sarah’s struggles with identity disturbance, chronic feelings of emptiness, and suicidal ideation are also common among individuals with BPD. This story highlights the importance of recognizing the signs of BPD and seeking help when necessary to build healthy, fulfilling relationships.

  1. Fear of abandonment: One of the most common symptoms of BPD is a fear of abandonment. This can cause individuals with BPD to become overly clingy or dependent on their partners, and may lead to feelings of intense anxiety or distress when they are apart.
  2. Unstable relationships: Individuals with BPD may have a pattern of intense, unstable relationships characterized by idealization and devaluation of others. This can lead to frequent breakups and reconciliations, and can be challenging for partners to navigate.
  3. Identity disturbance: Another symptom of BPD is an unstable sense of self-identity. This can cause individuals with BPD to struggle with their sense of purpose and direction in life, and may lead to frequent changes in goals, values, and career paths.
  4. Impulsivity: Individuals with BPD may engage in impulsive behaviors such as reckless driving, substance abuse, binge eating, or self-injury. This can be dangerous for both themselves and their partners, and can cause significant stress in relationships.
  5. Suicidal behavior: Individuals with BPD may experience recurrent thoughts or behaviors related to suicide, self-harm, or suicidal gestures. This can be frightening and challenging for partners to manage, and may require professional intervention.
  6. Affective instability: Individuals with BPD may experience intense, unstable emotions that can shift rapidly and unpredictably. This can cause outbursts of anger, anxiety, or depression that may be difficult for partners to understand or manage.
  7. Chronic feelings of emptiness: Individuals with BPD may feel a sense of emptiness or boredom, and may engage in risky behaviors or self-injury to alleviate this feeling. This can be challenging for partners to understand and may require professional intervention.
  8. Intense, inappropriate anger: Individuals with BPD may experience episodes of intense anger that may be triggered by perceived abandonment, criticism, or perceived betrayal. This can be challenging for partners to manage and may require professional intervention.
  9. Paranoia or dissociation: Individuals with BPD may experience episodes of paranoia or dissociation, in which they feel disconnected from reality or experience feelings of unreality. This can be frightening and confusing for partners, and may require professional intervention.

Here are some simple steps that loved ones can take to help themselves in relationships with individuals with BPD:

  1. L – Learn about BPD: Educate yourself about the disorder and its symptoms. This will help you understand your loved one’s behavior and respond in a more effective way.
  2. O – Offer support: Show empathy and offer emotional support to your loved one. Let them know that you are there for them and that you care about their well-being.
  3. V – Validate their feelings: Validate your loved one’s emotions, even if you don’t understand them. Let them know that you hear and accept their feelings without judgment.
  4. E – Establish boundaries: Set clear boundaries for yourself and communicate them to your loved one. This will help you maintain your own emotional and physical safety.
  5. D – Don’t take things personally: Remember that your loved one’s behavior is a result of their disorder, not a reflection of you. Don’t take their words or actions personally.
  6. O – Offer solutions: Offer practical solutions and suggestions to help your loved one manage their symptoms. This can include therapy, medication, or self-care techniques.
  7. N – Navigate the relationship: Navigating the relationship means assessing the relationship regularly to determine if it is still safe and healthy for both parties. This involves being honest with yourself about your feelings and needs, setting boundaries, and seeking support when necessary. It may also involve seeking professional help, such as couples therapy or individual therapy, to work through challenges and strengthen the relationship.
  8. E – Exit the relationship if things become abusive, violent, or out-of-control. It’s important to establish boundaries and know your limits when dealing with a loved one with BPD. If the situation becomes abusive or dangerous, it’s crucial to remove yourself from the situation and seek help immediately. This may mean leaving the room, calling for assistance, or contacting emergency services if necessary. Remember that your safety and well-being should always be a top priority. Don’t hesitate to reach out to trusted friends, family members, or professionals for support in exiting an abusive situation. With the right resources and support, you can protect yourself and help your loved one get the help they need.

In conclusion, BPD can be a challenging disorder to manage in relationships. It is important for individuals with BPD and their partners to seek professional help and support, as well as to educate themselves about the disorder and its symptoms. With the right support and resources, it is possible to manage the challenges of BPD and build healthy, fulfilling relationships.

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The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook

“The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook” by Kristin Neff and Christopher Germer is a comprehensive guide to developing self-compassion, which involves treating oneself with kindness and understanding rather than criticism and judgment. The authors provide a step-by-step program for cultivating self-compassion and building resilience.

One of the key insights from the book is that self-compassion involves three key components: mindfulness, self-kindness, and common humanity. Mindfulness involves being present and aware of one’s thoughts and feelings without judgment or criticism. Self-kindness involves treating oneself with kindness and understanding rather than harsh self-criticism. Common humanity involves recognizing that everyone experiences life’s difficulties and challenges and is not alone in their struggles.

The book includes numerous exercises and practices for cultivating self-compassion, including guided meditations, journaling prompts, and self-reflection exercises. The authors also guide overcoming common barriers to self-compassion, such as perfectionism, shame, and self-doubt.

Some of the exercises from the book include:

  1. Loving-Kindness Meditation: This meditation involves directing loving-kindness towards oneself and others. The authors guide how to practice this meditation and suggest incorporating it into a daily routine.
  2. Self-Compassion Break: This exercise involves taking a few moments to offer oneself kindness and understanding during a difficult moment. The authors provide a step-by-step guide for practicing this exercise and suggest incorporating it into daily life.
  3. Soothing Touch Exercise: This exercise involves using touch to offer oneself comfort and compassion. The authors provide guidance on practicing this exercise and suggest using it during stress or anxiety.
  4. Self-Compassion Journaling: This involves writing down thoughts and feelings related to self-compassion, such as moments when one has been kind to themselves or times when one has been self-critical. The authors provide prompts for journaling and suggest using this exercise to build self-awareness and self-compassion.
  5. Compassionate Body Scan: This meditation focuses on different body parts and offers oneself compassion and understanding. The authors guide how to practice this meditation and suggest using it to connect with the body and cultivate self-compassion.
  6. Affectionate Breathing: This meditation focuses on the breath and imagining oneself inhaling and exhaling love and compassion. The authors guide how to practice this meditation and suggest incorporating it into a daily mindfulness practice.
  7. Self-Compassion Letter: This exercise involves writing a letter to oneself offering kindness, understanding, and support. The authors guide how to write this letter and suggest using it to cultivate self-compassion and self-awareness.

Here are the steps for the Soothing Touch exercise from “The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook”:

  1. Find a comfortable and quiet place where you won’t be disturbed for a few minutes.
  2. Take a few deep breaths and become present at the moment.
  3. Begin by placing your hand on your heart or another soothing part of your body. You might choose to place your hand on your cheek, your forehead, or another part of your body that feels comforting.
  4. Allow yourself to feel the warmth and comfort of your touch. If it feels helpful, you can imagine that you are offering yourself love and kindness through your touch.
  5. Spend a few moments simply noticing the sensation of your touch and allowing yourself to feel comforted and soothed.
  6. If your mind begins to wander, gently bring your attention back to the sensation of your touch.
  7. When you feel ready, slowly release your touch and take a few deep breaths.
  8. Take a moment to reflect on how the Soothing Touch exercise made you feel. Notice any changes in your body or your mood.

The Soothing Touch exercise is a simple and effective way to offer oneself comfort and compassion during moments of stress or anxiety. By practicing this exercise regularly, individuals can cultivate a more positive and compassionate relationship with themselves.

Here are the steps for the Self-Compassion Letter exercise from “The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook”:

  1. Find a quiet and comfortable place where you won’t be disturbed for a little while.
  2. Take a few deep breaths and allow yourself to become present.
  3. Imagine that you are writing a letter to a close friend who is going through a difficult time. Offer this friend kind and compassionate words of support and encouragement.
  4. When you feel ready, begin writing a letter to yourself, using the same kind and compassionate language you would use with a close friend.
  5. In your letter, offer yourself kindness and understanding for any struggles or difficulties that you have been experiencing. Acknowledge that these experiences are a natural part of the human experience and that you are not alone in your struggles.
  6. Consider including phrases that resonate with you, such as “I am here for you” or “I am proud of you for facing this challenge.”
  7. Take your time writing your letter, allowing yourself to feel the emotions as you write.
  8. When you are finished, read the letter back to yourself, allowing yourself to fully absorb the kind and compassionate words that you have written.

The Self-Compassion Letter exercise is a powerful way to cultivate self-compassion and self-awareness. By offering themselves kindness and understanding, individuals can shift their inner dialogue towards a more positive and supportive tone. The exercise can be repeated regularly, and letters can be saved and revisited during moments of difficulty or stress.

As a trauma-informed therapist, I believe that cultivating self-compassion is an essential component of trauma recovery. Trauma can often leave individuals feeling disconnected from themselves and others, leading to self-criticism and self-blame. By cultivating self-compassion, individuals can begin to heal from the effects of trauma and develop a more positive and compassionate relationship with themselves.

In addition, organizations can benefit from becoming more trauma-sensitive by recognizing the impact of trauma on individuals and creating a safe and supportive environment. The practices and exercises outlined in “The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook” can help individuals and organizations become more trauma-sensitive by promoting self-awareness, compassion, and empathy.

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10 Adlerian Parenting Tips for Children Who Have Experienced Trauma or Abuse

Adlerian parenting is based on the philosophy of Alfred Adler, an Austrian psychiatrist and founder of Adlerian psychology. Adler believed that human behavior is motivated by a desire for belonging, significance, and social connection. Adlerian parenting promotes a child’s competence and self-esteem while encouraging social responsibility and respect for others.


Adlerian parenting emphasizes creating a warm, nurturing, and cheerful home environment where children feel valued loved and supported. Adlerian parents strive to provide opportunities for their children to develop independence, social interest, and positive self-esteem while fostering a sense of community and social responsibility.


Adlerian parenting is based on encouragement, respect, and mutual trust between parents and children. Adlerian parents seek to understand their child’s perspective and feelings while setting clear boundaries and expectations for behavior. Adlerian parenting also emphasizes the importance of positive discipline strategies that focus on teaching appropriate behavior and promoting self-regulation rather than using punishment or harsh discipline.
Overall, the philosophy of Adlerian parenting is focused on promoting a child’s sense of belonging, significance, and social interest while encouraging positive behavior, social responsibility, and respect for others.

  1. Provide a safe and stable environment: Children who have experienced trauma, abuse, or toxic stress need a sense of safety and stability. Create routines, set boundaries, and provide a secure home environment.
  2. Encourage healing through positive reinforcement: Praise your child’s effort and progress towards healing rather than just their achievements. This fosters a sense of resilience and self-worth.
  3. Focus on building trust: Children who have experienced trauma, abuse, or toxic stress often struggle to trust others. Take the time to listen to your child and validate their feelings, which can help rebuild trust.
  4. Use positive discipline strategies: Instead of punishment or harsh discipline, use positive methods that teach appropriate behavior and promote self-regulation.
  5. Foster a sense of community: Encourage your child to be involved in positive community activities and develop positive relationships with peers. This helps them feel supported and less isolated.
  6. Provide opportunities for choice and control: Children who have experienced trauma, abuse, or toxic stress may feel powerless. Providing options and opportunities for power can help build their self-esteem and sense of agency.
  7. Use trauma-informed parenting techniques: Learn about techniques and strategies, such as sensory regulation, grounding exercises, and mindfulness, that can help children who have experienced trauma, abuse, or toxic stress.
  8. Model healthy coping strategies: Children learn by example, so model healthy coping strategies and positive self-care behaviors, such as deep breathing, mindfulness, and exercise.
  9. Provide opportunities for play and creative expression: Play and creative expression can help children process and heal from trauma, abuse, or toxic stress. Provide opportunities for imaginative play, art, and other forms of creative expression.
  10. Seek professional support: Children who have experienced trauma, abuse, or toxic stress may benefit from professional support. Consider seeking therapy, counseling, or other support services to help your child heal and thrive.

Contact Ron Huxley, LMFT, to schedule a session if you need support on parenting tips and tools.

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Healing from Trauma: Understanding the Stages and Supporting Your Child Through the Journey

Healing from trauma is a complex and challenging, but recovering and moving forward with life is possible. As a trauma therapist, I have worked with many people who have experienced trauma and have seen firsthand how healing can transform lives. In this article, I will discuss the stages of recovery from trauma and what parents can do to support their children.

Stage 1: Safety and Stabilization
The first stage of healing from trauma is focused on safety and stabilization. This stage is about establishing a sense of safety and security, both physically and emotionally. Many people who have experienced trauma may feel like the world is dangerous and unpredictable, so finding ways to feel safe and grounded in the present moment is essential. This may involve developing a safety plan, finding a safe and supportive community, and practicing self-care.

As a parent, you can support your child during this stage by creating a safe and predictable environment. This may involve establishing routines, setting boundaries, and providing emotional support. Listening to your child’s needs and concerns and validating their feelings is also important.

Stage 2: Processing and Understanding
The second healing stage focuses on processing and understanding the traumatic experience. This stage is about exploring thoughts and feelings related to the trauma, making sense of the incident, and working through any confusion or self-blame. It’s important to note that this stage can be complicated and involve intense emotions, so having a supportive therapist or other mental health professionals guide you through the process is essential.

As a parent, you can support your child during this stage by providing a safe and supportive environment for them to express their feelings. It’s important to listen without judgment and validate their experiences. You can also help your child to understand that their reactions to the trauma are normal and that they are not alone.

Stage 3: Integration and Meaning-Making
The third healing stage focuses on integrating the experience into one’s sense of self and life story. This stage involves finding ways to incorporate the trauma into one’s identity and a sense of purpose and developing a greater understanding of meaning and purpose due to the experience. This stage is about finding a way to move forward with life, even in the face of adversity.

As a parent, you can support your child during this stage by helping them find meaning and purpose in their life. This may involve helping them to explore their interests and passions and keeping them pursuing their goals. It’s also important to remind your child that they are strong and resilient and can overcome the challenges they face.

Stage 4: Re-connection and Empowerment
The final stage of healing is about reconnecting with oneself, others, and the world in a safe and empowering way. This stage is about finding ways to engage in meaningful activities and pursuits and to feel a sense of agency and control in one’s life. This stage concerns reclaiming power and moving forward with a renewed sense of purpose.

As a parent, you can support your child during this stage by encouraging them to engage in activities that bring them joy and fulfillment. This may involve helping them to connect with others who share their interests and supporting them in pursuing their passions. It’s also important to remind your child that they can create the life they want and are not defined by past experiences.

In conclusion, healing from trauma is a complex and individualized process. Still, it is possible to recover and move forward with life. As a parent, you can support your child through the healing process by creating a safe and supportive environment, listening without judgment, and encouraging them to find meaning and purpose in their life.

If you or your child have experienced trauma and are struggling to heal, know that you are not alone. Seeking support from a therapist can be an important step in the healing process. Ron Huxley, LMFT, can help you and your child find freedom from the burden of trauma. Schedule a session today!

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Why are the 6 Key Principles of SAMHSA important to your Organization?

The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) has identified six fundamental principles of trauma-informed care (TIC) to incorporate into treating individuals with trauma-related problems. These principles recognize the importance of understanding the impact of trauma on an individual’s life and how to provide care best that meets their needs.

The six principles of trauma-informed care and the questions traumatized individuals ask are:

  1. Safety: The first priority in any trauma-informed care setting is to ensure the safety of everyone involved. This means creating a safe emotional and psychological environment while addressing potential safety risks that could lead to additional re-traumatization.
    “Am I safe here?”
  2. Trustworthiness and Transparency: It is essential that any trauma-informed care setting be transparent and trustworthy. This means that all information is shared openly and honestly and that individuals are free to ask questions and express concerns.
    “Can I trust you?”
  3. Peer Support: Peer support is an essential part of the healing process for individuals who have experienced trauma. This means that individuals should be encouraged to reach out to others who have had similar experiences to build a support network.
    “Who shares my experiences?”
  4. Collaboration and Mutuality: Individuals in trauma-informed care settings must work together to create an atmosphere of collaboration and mutuality. All individuals involved should feel respected and valued, and their experiences and perspectives from past trauma should be considered in any activity or treatment plan.
    “Do I have a choice?”
  5. Empowerment: Individuals in trauma-informed care settings should be empowered to make their own decisions and take control of their healing process. This means that individuals should be encouraged to take an active role in their care and to make decisions that are in their best interests.
    “Do I have a voice that will be heard?”
  6. Cultural, Historical, and Gender Issues: It is essential that any trauma-informed care setting consider the cultural, historical, and gender issues that may impact an individual’s experience and recovery. This means that individuals should be encouraged to discuss their experiences without fear of judgment or criticism.
    “Is my cultural, gender, or history valued?”

These six principles of trauma-informed care, outlined by SAMHSA, are essential to providing effective, individualized, and compassionate care to individuals who have experienced trauma. By ensuring that these principles are incorporated into all aspects of care, we can create a safe and supportive environment for individuals to heal and move forward.

At its core, trauma-informed care is about understanding and responding to the needs of individuals and eliminating practices that lead to re-traumatization. It is about creating a safe and supportive environment where individuals can explore their experiences and work toward recovery. By incorporating SAMHSA’s six key principles of trauma-informed care, we can ensure that individuals receive the care and support they need to heal and move forward.

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Helpful Healing Strategies from Trauma, Difficult Situations & Hard Moments of Grief or Loss (a Holy Mess Podcast)

I am so excited to guess again on the Holy Mess Podcast (see the link below). The show creator, Dani Sumner, has the #1 Christian Mental Health podcast on Spotify. This episode talks about healing from a body, mind, and spirit perspective. At the end of the podcast, I will lead you through a short meditation on how to “resource” safety from each perspective. You don’t want to mess with this podcast: Click here now!