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Breath to Breath: Your Path to Inner Calm

Deep breathing is a powerful tool for calming the nervous system and promoting overall well-being in children and adults. This simple yet effective technique offers numerous benefits for physical and mental health.

Benefits of Deep Breathing

For Adults

Deep breathing activates the parasympathetic nervous system, which helps reduce stress and anxiety[1][2]. It can lower heart rate and blood pressure and even decrease the production of stress hormones like cortisol[1]. Regular practice of deep breathing exercises has been shown to:

  • Improve cardiovascular health
  • Enhance respiratory performance
  • Boost emotional well-being
  • Increase relaxation responses
  • Promote better sleep

Studies have found that just one minute of slow, deep breathing can significantly lower physiological arousal, making it an excellent tool for managing stress in everyday situations[4].

For Children

Deep breathing exercises can be particularly beneficial for children, helping them develop essential coping skills:

  • Reduces anxiety and stress
  • Improves focus and concentration
  • Enhances emotional regulation
  • Promotes better sleep
  • Builds resilience

Research has shown that guiding children through brief deep breathing exercises can significantly lower their physiological arousal, even in everyday settings[4]. This makes it an invaluable tool for helping children manage their emotions and stress.

Introducing Calm Breath: A New App for Children

We’ve developed a new app called Calm Breath to help children learn and practice deep breathing techniques. This interactive tool makes deep breathing exercises fun and engaging for kids. You can try it out at https://calm-breath.replit.app/

Calm Breath joins a growing list of digital resources to teach children mindfulness and relaxation techniques [6][9]. Incorporating technology can make these valuable skills more accessible and appealing to young users.

How to Practice Deep Breathing

To get the most benefit from deep breathing, follow these simple steps:

  1. Find a comfortable position, either sitting or lying down.
  2. Place one hand on your chest and the other on your belly.
  3. Breathe in slowly through your nose, feeling your belly expand.
  4. Exhale slowly through your mouth, letting your belly fall.
  5. Repeat for several breaths, focusing on the sensation of your breath.

Remember, consistency is key. Incorporating deep breathing exercises into your daily routine can lead to long-term benefits for you and your children.

By teaching children the importance of deep breathing early on, we can help them develop lifelong skills for managing stress and promoting overall well-being. With tools like Calm Breath, we’re making it easier than ever for children to learn and practice these essential techniques.

Citations:
[1] https://www.onestep.co/resources-blog/deep-breathing-better-physical-mental-health
[2] https://positivepsychology.com/deep-breathing-techniques-exercises/
[3] https://www.apaservices.org/practice/business/technology/tech-column/children-mindfulness-apps
[4] https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/how_four_deep_breaths_can_help_kids_calm_down
[5] https://www.nature.com/articles/s41598-021-98736-9
[6] https://www.understood.org/en/articles/8-meditation-apps-for-kids
[7] https://www.childrenscolorado.org/just-ask-childrens/articles/breathing-to-change-mood/
[8] https://www.webmd.com/balance/what-to-know-4-7-8-breathing
[9] https://parentingchaos.com/anxiety-apps-kids/
[10] https://copingskillsforkids.com/deep-breathing-exercises-for-kids
[11] https://www.heart.org/en/news/2023/07/07/its-not-just-inspiration-careful-breathing-can-help-your-health
[12] https://www.pcmag.com/picks/the-6-best-meditation-and-mindfulness-apps-for-kids
[13] https://www.cedars-sinai.org/blog/five-deep-breathing-exercises-for-kids-and-teens.html

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Raising Good Humans: A Guide to Mindful Parenting

Hunter Clarke-Fields’ book “Raising Good Humans” offers a refreshing approach to parenting that focuses on mindfulness, emotional intelligence, and building strong relationships with our children. By incorporating these principles, parents can create a nurturing environment that fosters cooperation, resilience, and empathy in their children.

The Power of Modeling

One of the core tenets of Clarke-Fields’ approach is the importance of modeling desired behaviors. Children learn more from what we do than we say[1]. As parents, we must embody the qualities we wish to see in our children, such as kindness, calmness, and respect[1]. For example, if we want our children to manage their emotions effectively, we need to demonstrate emotional regulation ourselves.

Breaking Harmful Cycles

Clarke-Fields emphasizes the need to identify and break harmful generational patterns[1]. Many parents unknowingly perpetuate behaviors they experienced in their own upbringing, such as yelling or using physical punishment. By recognizing these patterns, we can consciously choose to parent differently, creating a more positive family dynamic.

Mindfulness as a Foundation

The book advocates using mindfulness techniques to enhance parental self-regulation and improve communication with children[1]. Practices like the RAIN meditation can help parents navigate emotional challenges with more excellent balance and presence[1].

Building Strong Relationships

At the heart of Clarke-Fields’ philosophy is the belief that a strong parent-child relationship is key to effective parenting[3]. Children who feel securely attached to their parents are more likely to cooperate and work together to resolve conflicts[3].

Top Parenting Techniques from “Raising Good Humans”

  1. Practice mindful emotion management: Use techniques like RAIN meditation to navigate challenging situations with balance[1].
  2. Model desired behaviors: Demonstrate the qualities you want to see in your children, such as kindness and calmness[1].
  3. Focus on positive reinforcement: Catch your child being good and acknowledge their positive actions[2].
  4. Teach interoception: Help children recognize their body’s internal signals to develop better self-regulation[2].
  5. Establish predictable routines: Create consistency in daily activities to provide security and reduce anxiety[2].
  6. Spend focused time with your child: Strengthen your connection through dedicated, quality time together[3].
  7. Create a low-stress home environment: Simplify your surroundings to foster a calm atmosphere[3].
  8. Practice vulnerability: Show your children that it’s okay not to have all the answers and to learn from mistakes[6].
  9. Cultivate a growth mindset: Encourage a perspective that embraces challenges and sees failures as opportunities for learning[6].
  10. Prioritize emotional intelligence: Help children effectively identify, understand, and manage their emotions [5].

By implementing these techniques and embracing the principles outlined in “Raising Good Humans,” parents can create a nurturing environment that supports their children’s emotional and social development. Remember, the goal is not perfection but a conscious, mindful approach to parenting that fosters strong relationships and raises emotionally intelligent, resilient children.

Citations:
[1] https://swiftread.com/books/raising-good-humans
[2] https://www.mindbodydad.com/dad/5-principles-of-parenting
[3] https://www.shortform.com/summary/raising-good-humans-summary-hunter-clarke-fields
[4] https://bewellbykelly.com/blogs/blog/raising-good-humans-discover-the-5-key-principles-of-parenting-with-dr-aliza-pressman
[5] https://www.20minutebooks.com/raising-good-humans
[6] https://www.mamasaysnamaste.com/podcast-good-humans/
[7] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eOlJMB8I_k0
[8] https://gabbybernstein.com/podcast/spirituality-and-parenting-raising-good-humans-with-dr-aliza-pressman/

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Daily Self-Care Spark: 20 Quick Rituals for Busy Lives

  1. Morning Stretch (Gentle Yoga vibes)
  2. Mindful Breathing (One-minute zen)
  3. Hydration Check (Drink up, folks!)
  4. Gratitude Journaling (Cue happy thoughts)
  5. Nature Break (Breathe in, breathe out)
  6. Tech Detox (Screens off, brains on pause)
  7. Healthy Snack Pause (Nom nom healthy)
  8. Positive Affirmations (You rock!)
  9. Mini Meditation (Find that zen, quick!)
  10. Expressive Writing (Journaling for the Soul)
  11. Music Break (Turn it up, shake it off)
  12. Self-Compassion Pause (Be kind to you)
  13. Stress-Relief Exercise (Jump, shake, stretch!)
  14. Tea Time (Sip and savor)
  15. Reflective Walk (Walk and ponder)
  16. Disconnect to Reconnect (Switch off, tune in)
  17. Power Nap (Snooze, rejuvenate)
  18. Quick Hobby Session (Do what you love, briefly)
  19. Setting Boundaries (Say ‘no’ like a boss)
  20. Nighttime Wind-Down (Bedtime chill vibes)

Remember, self-care isn’t selfish; it’s essential for maintaining a healthy life balance. Incorporating these simple rituals into your day can profoundly impact your overall well-being.

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Finding Courage and Strength: A Review of “Courage to Change” by Al-Anon

Introduction: Living with a loved one who struggles with addiction can be incredibly difficult and painful. It can leave us feeling overwhelmed, helpless, and lost. Al-Anon is a support group that offers help and hopes to people affected by someone else’s addiction. One of their essential resources is “Courage to Change,” a daily reader book filled with reflections and meditations designed to provide comfort and inspiration. This article will review “Courage to Change” and discuss who would benefit most from this book.

Authors: “Courage to Change” is published by Al-Anon. This support group has been helping families and friends of alcoholics since 1951. The book was written by Al-Anon members and is based on their experiences, strength, and hope.

Who Would Benefit Most: “Courage to Change” is a valuable resource for anyone affected by someone else’s addiction. This includes family members, friends, and loved ones of addicts. The book offers daily reflections and meditations that provide comfort, support, and inspiration to those struggling to cope with the challenges of addiction. It can help readers find peace, serenity, and the courage to change the things they can.

Dealing with a family member with addiction can be an incredibly difficult and stressful experience that can impact a person’s boundaries, communication, and self-worth in several ways:

  1. Boundaries: a) Lack of clarity: Family members often struggle to define and maintain healthy boundaries with their loved ones struggling with addiction. They may feel guilty or responsible for their loved one’s behavior, leading to confusion about where to draw the line. b) Blurred lines: Addiction can cause family members to feel as though they need to be constantly available to their loved ones, leading to blurred boundaries and a lack of personal space. c) Resentment: Family members may struggle with resentment towards their loved one for crossing their boundaries, leading to tension and conflict.
  2. Communication: a) Fear and avoidance: Fear of triggering their loved one or causing conflict can lead family members to avoid communicating openly and honestly with them. b) Enabling: Family members may unknowingly enable their loved one’s addiction by not setting clear communication boundaries or avoiding confrontation. c) Misunderstandings: Communication breakdowns can lead to misunderstandings and misinterpretations that can further strain relationships.
  3. Self-worth: a) Blaming themselves: Family members may blame themselves for their loved one’s addiction, leading to guilt, shame, and low self-worth. b) Codependency: Family members may become so enmeshed in their loved one’s addiction that they lose their sense of self-worth and identity outside of their relationship. c) Lack of support: Lack of support from friends or family members can cause a person to question their self-worth and worthiness of love and care.

The Book’s Contents: “Courage to Change” is a daily reader book that offers 365 reflections and meditations. Each day’s reading focuses on a specific topic: acceptance, self-care, forgiveness, and gratitude. The readings are designed to be short and easy to read, making them a perfect resource for busy people.

The book’s reflections are based on the principles of Al-Anon, which include accepting the things we cannot change, letting go of control, and trusting a higher power. It emphasizes the importance of self-care, setting healthy boundaries, and cultivating self-love and self-compassion.

Similar Sources: Many other resources are available for people affected by addiction. One of the most well-known is “The 12 Steps” by Alcoholics Anonymous (AA). While “The 12 Steps” is written for people who struggle with addiction, it can also be a valuable resource for loved ones who want to better understand the recovery process.

Another resource is “Beyond Addiction” by Jeffrey Foote, Carrie Wilkens, and Nicole Kosanke. This book offers a science-based approach to addiction that focuses on the whole family, not just the addict. It provides practical tools and strategies for families to navigate addiction challenges.

“Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” This quote, often called the Serenity Prayer, is a central theme of “Courage to Change.” This principle can be applied to many aspects of life but is especially relevant for people affected by addiction which often struggle with helplessness and powerlessness.

Conclusion: Living with addiction can be incredibly challenging, but hope exists. “Courage to Change” is a valuable resource for anyone affected by addiction. Its daily reflections and meditations provide comfort, support, and inspiration, helping readers find the courage and strength to face the challenges of addiction. Other resources, such as “The 12 Steps” and “Beyond Addiction,” can also be helpful tools for those seeking support and guidance.

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The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook

“The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook” by Kristin Neff and Christopher Germer is a comprehensive guide to developing self-compassion, which involves treating oneself with kindness and understanding rather than criticism and judgment. The authors provide a step-by-step program for cultivating self-compassion and building resilience.

One of the key insights from the book is that self-compassion involves three key components: mindfulness, self-kindness, and common humanity. Mindfulness involves being present and aware of one’s thoughts and feelings without judgment or criticism. Self-kindness involves treating oneself with kindness and understanding rather than harsh self-criticism. Common humanity involves recognizing that everyone experiences life’s difficulties and challenges and is not alone in their struggles.

The book includes numerous exercises and practices for cultivating self-compassion, including guided meditations, journaling prompts, and self-reflection exercises. The authors also guide overcoming common barriers to self-compassion, such as perfectionism, shame, and self-doubt.

Some of the exercises from the book include:

  1. Loving-Kindness Meditation: This meditation involves directing loving-kindness towards oneself and others. The authors guide how to practice this meditation and suggest incorporating it into a daily routine.
  2. Self-Compassion Break: This exercise involves taking a few moments to offer oneself kindness and understanding during a difficult moment. The authors provide a step-by-step guide for practicing this exercise and suggest incorporating it into daily life.
  3. Soothing Touch Exercise: This exercise involves using touch to offer oneself comfort and compassion. The authors provide guidance on practicing this exercise and suggest using it during stress or anxiety.
  4. Self-Compassion Journaling: This involves writing down thoughts and feelings related to self-compassion, such as moments when one has been kind to themselves or times when one has been self-critical. The authors provide prompts for journaling and suggest using this exercise to build self-awareness and self-compassion.
  5. Compassionate Body Scan: This meditation focuses on different body parts and offers oneself compassion and understanding. The authors guide how to practice this meditation and suggest using it to connect with the body and cultivate self-compassion.
  6. Affectionate Breathing: This meditation focuses on the breath and imagining oneself inhaling and exhaling love and compassion. The authors guide how to practice this meditation and suggest incorporating it into a daily mindfulness practice.
  7. Self-Compassion Letter: This exercise involves writing a letter to oneself offering kindness, understanding, and support. The authors guide how to write this letter and suggest using it to cultivate self-compassion and self-awareness.

Here are the steps for the Soothing Touch exercise from “The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook”:

  1. Find a comfortable and quiet place where you won’t be disturbed for a few minutes.
  2. Take a few deep breaths and become present at the moment.
  3. Begin by placing your hand on your heart or another soothing part of your body. You might choose to place your hand on your cheek, your forehead, or another part of your body that feels comforting.
  4. Allow yourself to feel the warmth and comfort of your touch. If it feels helpful, you can imagine that you are offering yourself love and kindness through your touch.
  5. Spend a few moments simply noticing the sensation of your touch and allowing yourself to feel comforted and soothed.
  6. If your mind begins to wander, gently bring your attention back to the sensation of your touch.
  7. When you feel ready, slowly release your touch and take a few deep breaths.
  8. Take a moment to reflect on how the Soothing Touch exercise made you feel. Notice any changes in your body or your mood.

The Soothing Touch exercise is a simple and effective way to offer oneself comfort and compassion during moments of stress or anxiety. By practicing this exercise regularly, individuals can cultivate a more positive and compassionate relationship with themselves.

Here are the steps for the Self-Compassion Letter exercise from “The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook”:

  1. Find a quiet and comfortable place where you won’t be disturbed for a little while.
  2. Take a few deep breaths and allow yourself to become present.
  3. Imagine that you are writing a letter to a close friend who is going through a difficult time. Offer this friend kind and compassionate words of support and encouragement.
  4. When you feel ready, begin writing a letter to yourself, using the same kind and compassionate language you would use with a close friend.
  5. In your letter, offer yourself kindness and understanding for any struggles or difficulties that you have been experiencing. Acknowledge that these experiences are a natural part of the human experience and that you are not alone in your struggles.
  6. Consider including phrases that resonate with you, such as “I am here for you” or “I am proud of you for facing this challenge.”
  7. Take your time writing your letter, allowing yourself to feel the emotions as you write.
  8. When you are finished, read the letter back to yourself, allowing yourself to fully absorb the kind and compassionate words that you have written.

The Self-Compassion Letter exercise is a powerful way to cultivate self-compassion and self-awareness. By offering themselves kindness and understanding, individuals can shift their inner dialogue towards a more positive and supportive tone. The exercise can be repeated regularly, and letters can be saved and revisited during moments of difficulty or stress.

As a trauma-informed therapist, I believe that cultivating self-compassion is an essential component of trauma recovery. Trauma can often leave individuals feeling disconnected from themselves and others, leading to self-criticism and self-blame. By cultivating self-compassion, individuals can begin to heal from the effects of trauma and develop a more positive and compassionate relationship with themselves.

In addition, organizations can benefit from becoming more trauma-sensitive by recognizing the impact of trauma on individuals and creating a safe and supportive environment. The practices and exercises outlined in “The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook” can help individuals and organizations become more trauma-sensitive by promoting self-awareness, compassion, and empathy.

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Do I Really Have to Make Amends?

Making amends for hurting others is important in repairing relationships and restoring trust. Here are some steps that can be taken to make amends:

  1. Acknowledge the harm: The first step in making amends is to acknowledge the harm that has been done and take responsibility for one’s actions. This involves expressing genuine regret and remorse for the pain that has been caused.
  2. Seek forgiveness: After acknowledging the harm, it is important to ask for forgiveness from those who have been hurt. This involves admitting that one’s actions were wrong and seeking the forgiveness of others.
  3. Make restitution: If possible, it is important to make restitution for the harm done. This may involve repairing or replacing damaged property, paying compensation, or providing other financial support.
  4. Offer apologies: A heartfelt and sincere apology can go a long way in repairing relationships and restoring trust. An apology should be specific, acknowledging the harm done and expressing remorse for one’s actions.
  5. Change behavior: To prevent further harm and demonstrate a commitment to making amends, it is important to change one’s behavior. This may involve seeking help to address underlying issues, such as substance abuse or anger management, or committing to behaving differently in the future.
  6. Be patient: Repairing relationships and restoring trust takes time and may require patience and persistence. It is important to be willing to invest the time and effort needed to make amends and to be open to forgiveness and reconciliation.

In conclusion, making amends for hurting others involves acknowledging the harm, seeking forgiveness, restitution, offering apologies, changing behavior, and being patient. These steps allow individuals to take responsibility for their actions, repair relationships, and restore trust.

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Survival Tips for the Holiday Season

Did you know that 65% of people with mental health issues report that the holidays worsen them? Even if you are not struggling with significant depression or crippling anxiety, you may feel the stress and overwhelm that come during Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year. It is two months of overwhelm and possible re-traumatization. 

This can be due to increased loneliness, financial pressures, memories of past trauma, physical exhaustion, unrealistic expectations, and having to engage with challenging people. All these things turn the time of comfort and joy into the holiday blues.

You could take a pass for the holiday season, go on your own vacation, or pretend it is just another day but if you do choose to try and carry out the traditional activities, here are a few ideas to help you survive them: 

Manage your time and take on a manageable amount of things. Prioritize your day-to-day schedule so there is a fair amount of to-do’s each day. Plan ahead and try to avoid cramming everything into the day before. If you can do shopping ahead of time or order things online versus fighting crowds in the stores, do it! You can order complete meals from restaurants or grocery stores. If you can afford that luxury, divide the tasks among friends and family members, so you need to do more. 

Set boundaries that you are comfortable with and help you feel safe and secure. If you or someone in your family struggles with alcohol, set a limit that doesn’t allow it at the holiday party or dinner. Start your festivities early enough so people can go home at a decent time to keep up your rest, enabling you to wind down after. 

Be realistic about your time and energy. You may only be able to visit some friends’ and relatives’ homes during the holidays. It is hard to say no, but you may have to spend one holiday function on one side of the family this year and with the other next year, or Thanksgiving at one home and Christmas at the other. You don’t have to spend the actual holiday date with someone. You can pick the weekend prior or after to celebrate. Financially you may have to do a zoom Christmas with some who live far away and can’t travel during the holidays. We all hated this arrangement during COVID, but it has its benefits. It is better than no contact.

Give yourself the gift of self-care. Take time to relax, plan evenings alone, meditate and pray, exercise and eat well, and get as much sleep as possible. Keep a schedule for personal grooming, warm baths, massages, play with your kids, a book, and your favorite treat. 

Stay connected to positive, healthy people. It is tempting to stop attending church or support groups or cancel therapy appointments. Now is the time you need it more than ever. Your positive connections will help you manage the stressors of all the negative encounters and pressures. 

Keep up or create traditions and rituals. Many families already have specific practices during the holidays. We always cook the turkey a particular way, share about things we are thankful for around the table, do a Christmas puzzle, open stockings the night before, read specific devotions and journals, and attend a Christmas eve service or mass. Setting traditions and rituals provides structure, stability, and positive feelings. If you still need one, create one or add a new one to your holiday activities. Let it remind you of the reason for the season (hint, it isn’t about the presents). 

If you want help managing the stress of the holidays or experience challenging feelings of depression, anxiety, or trauma, let Ron Huxley help you. Schedule a session with him today! 

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Breaking out of Negative Thoughts and Rumination

Do you ever feel like your mind is racing or your thoughts are stuck in a loop? You might be experiencing what’s called negative thinking or rumination. People who engage in this tend to overthink things, strive for perfection, look at the downside of events and miss the good stuff that happened to them.

Coping with negative thoughts and rumination can be a challenge. But it’s not impossible to overcome, and it’s not something you have to live with forever.

The good news is that you can learn ways to cope with negative thinking and rumination without using medications. Here are some things that might help:

1) Practice mindfulness meditation. This involves focusing on the present moment without judgment, especially when you have negative or repetitive thoughts. You can try this by focusing on your breath, listening to music or nature sounds (like rain or waves), or simply sitting quietly in silence and noticing what’s happening around you (or inside yourself).

2) If you are spiritual, pray! Prayer is a powerful weapon against depression and anxiety. It can be hard to pray when you are overwhelmed by negative thoughts, but if you commit yourself to prayer as a daily routine, it will help keep your mind focused on what matters most.

3) Get some exercise. Exercise releases endorphins into the brain, making us feel better about ourselves and more optimistic about our lives. So if you’ve been feeling down lately, try getting out for a run instead of staying cooped up inside all day!

4) Eat healthy foods! Eating well helps regulate hormones in our bodies that are responsible for mood swings (like serotonin). So if you’re feeling down, try eating something like strawberries or almonds—they contain nutrients that promote happiness and contentment. Ever heard the expression: “Your mental health is at the end of your fork”? It’s true.

5) Try writing down your feelings instead of keeping them bottled up inside where no one else can see them except for yourself (and even then, only if you want to share them with others. Grammer and punctuation aren’t necessary. The point is to let that negative go.

6) Identify the areas where you were hurt or traumatized. Destructive thought patterns can result from betrayal, abandonment, unfair actions, and traumatic events. We can internalize external actions and believe we are the problem or too broken, leaving us in a vicious loop of negative thoughts and feelings.

7) Work with a professional therapist specializing in trauma-informed practices and Cognitive Behavior Therapy. Together, you can get to the unhealthy core beliefs causing so much pain and suffering and find alternative perspectives on your life.

Negative thinking and rumination are exhausting. It ruins your sleep, and it interferes with your day. If you want help finding a way out of this destructive pattern, contact Ron Huxley and set up an appointment to start feeling good immediately! Click here now…

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Have a Power-FULL Morning!

Did you wake up in a mood today? We often wake up thinking about the problems we have to face today. We rehearse the past memories and circumstances that create a hyper state of arousal, using the natural cortisol levels of the morning to increase anxiety, fear, irritability, and anger.

Before your feet hit the floor, use gratitudes to change how you think and feel. Use the natural energy of cortisol to direct your thoughts and behaviors in the morning. Engage in meditation and focus for the day and be more productive and creative with using that cortisol. Make today better than yesterday. Make your inspiration greater than your suffering!

Use your cortisol to have a power-full morning!

Let Ron Huxley help you find more power in your life by scheduling a session today or using the power-full tools at FamilyHealer.tv