Page 3 of 10

Creating Positive Moods in Your Children

As parents, one of our most important tasks is to help our children navigate the colorful landscape of emotions. From giggles of joy to moments of frustration, children experience a wide range of moods as they grow and learn. Understanding the factors influencing their mood and equipping ourselves with practical strategies can play a significant role in nurturing their emotional well-being.

The Mood Spectrum

Just like adults, children experience a spectrum of moods. Happiness, sadness, anger, excitement, and everything in between contribute to their emotional world. Remembering that all emotions are valid and serve a purpose in our children’s lives is crucial. By acknowledging and validating their feelings, we create a safe space for them to explore and express their emotions.

Factors Influencing Mood

Several factors can influence a child’s mood, including:

  1. Sleep: Adequate sleep is essential for emotional well-being. Children who consistently get enough sleep tend to be more balanced and cheerful.
  2. Nutrition: A balanced diet rich in nutrients supports physical and emotional health.
  3. Physical Activity: Regular exercise helps release endorphins, promoting positive emotions and reducing stress.
  4. Social Interactions: Healthy relationships with family, friends, and peers contribute to positive mood development.
  5. Environment: A safe, nurturing environment at home and school set the tone for emotional well-being.
  6. Stress Management: Equipping children with coping mechanisms to deal with stressors can prevent negative moods from escalating.

Creating Positive Moods

As parents, we have the power to foster positive moods in our children:

  1. Open Communication: Encourage your child to talk about their feelings. Create a judgment-free space where they feel comfortable sharing their emotional experiences.
  2. Model Emotional Regulation: Children learn by observing. Demonstrate healthy ways of managing emotions, such as taking deep breaths or calming activities.
  3. Validate Feelings: Let your child know their feelings are understood and accepted. Avoid dismissing or belittling their emotions.
  4. Create a Routine: Consistency provides stability, which can positively impact mood. Establish a daily routine with ample sleep, play, and relaxation time.
  5. Encourage Play and Creativity: Play is a natural way for children to express their emotions and work through challenges. Encourage creative outlets like drawing, painting, and imaginative play.
  6. Promote Healthy Lifestyle Choices: Encourage nutritious eating, physical activity, and adequate sleep to support their overall well-being.
  7. Empower Problem-Solving: Teach your child problem-solving skills to handle challenges constructively, boosting their confidence and reducing frustration.
  8. Practice Mindfulness Together: Introduce simple mindfulness exercises like deep breathing or guided imagery to help your child manage strong emotions.

Nurturing positive moods in children is a journey that requires patience, understanding, and an unwavering commitment to their emotional well-being. By recognizing the factors influencing their moods and implementing strategies promoting positivity, parents can play an instrumental role in shaping their children’s emotional landscapes. Through open communication, validation, and a nurturing environment, parents can help their children navigate emotions with confidence and resilience.

Top 10 Parenting FAQs: Expert Answers to Help You Raise Happy, Healthy Kids

Parenting can be an incredibly rewarding and fulfilling experience, but it’s also one of the most challenging roles we can take on. From sleepless nights with newborns to navigating sensitive topics with teenagers, there’s no shortage of questions and uncertainties that can come with raising children. That’s why we’ve compiled a list of the top 10 frequently asked questions about parenting, along with expert answers to help guide you through the ups and downs of parenthood. Whether you’re a new parent, an experienced caregiver, or simply looking for some helpful advice, these tips and strategies can help you raise happy, healthy kids and navigate the many joys and challenges of being a parent.

  1. What is the best way to discipline a child?
  • The best way to discipline a child depends on age, personality, and behavior. Positive reinforcement, setting clear boundaries and consequences, and consistency are practical ways to discipline a child.
  1. How do I get my child to sleep through the night?
  • Establishing a consistent bedtime routine, creating a calm and comfortable sleep environment, and encouraging healthy sleep habits such as avoiding caffeine and screen time before bed can help a child sleep through the night.
  1. What should I do if my child is being bullied at school?
  • It’s important to take bullying seriously and address it promptly. Encourage your child to talk about the situation, contact their teacher or school administrator, and work together to develop a plan to stop the bullying.
  1. How can I help my child with anxiety?
  • Supporting your child, validating their feelings, and encouraging them to discuss their worries can help. Additionally, practicing relaxation techniques, creating a calming environment, and seeking professional help if necessary can be effective ways to help a child with anxiety.
  1. What are some tips for potty training a toddler?
  • Potty training can take time and patience. Some tips include waiting until your child shows readiness signs, creating a consistent routine, using positive reinforcement, and avoiding punishment for accidents.
  1. How can I help my child develop healthy eating habits?
  • Model healthy eating habits yourself, offer a variety of healthy foods, involve your child in meal planning and preparation, and limit sugary and processed foods to help your child develop healthy eating habits.
  1. How do I talk to my child about sensitive topics like sex and drugs?
  • Be honest and age-appropriate, and use clear and factual language when discussing sensitive topics with your child. Encourage questions and open communication, and be prepared to have ongoing conversations as your child grows and develops.
  1. How can I support my child’s education and academic success?
  • Creating a positive and supportive learning environment at home, being involved in your child’s education, encouraging and praising effort and progress, and addressing any learning difficulties or challenges can support your child’s academic success.
  1. What are some practical ways to manage my child’s screen time?
  • Establishing clear rules and boundaries around screen time, modeling healthy screen use habits yourself, prioritizing non-screen activities and outdoor play, and monitoring your child’s screen use can be effective ways to manage screen time.
  1. How can I help my child build solid relationships and social skills?
  • Encourage your child to develop friendships and social connections, model healthy communication and relationship behaviors, provide opportunities for your child to practice social skills, and address any social difficulties or challenges.

If you want personalized support and guidance on your parenting journey, consider contacting Ron Huxley. With over 30 years of experience in family therapy and social work, Ron has helped countless families navigate the challenges of parenthood and build stronger, more connected relationships. Whether you’re struggling with a specific issue or simply looking for ongoing support and guidance, Ron’s compassionate and practical approach can help you achieve your goals and create the happy, healthy family life you deserve.

Boosting Your Teen’s Confidence: 5 Powerful Tips

Teenagers are at a stage in life where they discover who they are, where they fit in the world and their purpose. It’s a time when their self-esteem and confidence can be easily shaken, leading to self-doubt, anxiety, and even depression. As a parent, caregiver, or educator, it’s important to foster their self-confidence and help them build a positive self-image. Here are five ways to do just that:

  1. Encourage their passions and interests.

Teenagers are exploring their identities and interests, and it’s essential to support and encourage their passions. Whether it’s music, sports, art, or any other hobby, show interest in what they enjoy doing and help them pursue their interests. Encouraging their passions will help them feel a sense of purpose and accomplishment and give them a positive outlet to express themselves.

  • If your teenager loves playing guitar, encourage them to join a local music club or take lessons to improve their skills.
  • If your teenager enjoys drawing or painting, provide them with art supplies and encourage them to participate in art contests or showcase their artwork in a local gallery.
  1. Praise effort over outcome

It’s important to celebrate the effort teenagers put into achieving their goals, regardless of the outcome. Focusing solely on the end result can lead to anxiety and self-doubt if they don’t achieve the desired outcome. Praise the effort and hard work that they put in, and emphasize the value of the learning experience that comes from trying something new.

  • If your teenager studies hard for a test but doesn’t receive a high grade, praise their hard work and effort instead of focusing on the grade.
  • If your teenager participates in a sports game but their team loses, praise their teamwork and effort rather than focusing on the loss.
  1. Encourage healthy risk-taking

Taking risks can be scary, but it’s essential to building self-confidence. Encourage your teenager to step outside their comfort zone and take healthy risks, such as trying a new activity, speaking up in class, or joining a club. By taking risks and facing their fears, they’ll gain confidence in their abilities and learn that failure is not the end of the world.

  • Encourage your teenager to try a new activity or sport that they’ve been interested in but are nervous to try.
  • Encourage your teenager to speak up in class or share their opinions with their friends, even if they’re afraid of being judged.
  1. Focus on strengths, not weaknesses.

Getting caught up in our flaws and shortcomings is easy, but focusing on strengths can boost self-esteem and confidence. Help your teenager identify their strengths and celebrate them. Encourage them to use their strengths to overcome challenges and achieve their goals. By focusing on what they’re good at, they’ll feel more confident in their abilities.

  • If your teenager struggles in math but excels, focus on their writing skills and encourage them to enter writing contests or start a blog.
  • If your teenager is shy in social situations but is a great listener, praise their listening skills and encourage them to join a listening and counseling club.
  1. Practice positive self-talk

Our thoughts have a powerful impact on our emotions and behavior. Help your teenager develop a positive self-talk routine by encouraging them to challenge negative thoughts and replace them with positive affirmations. Encourage them to focus on their strengths, accomplishments, and progress. Positive self-talk can help build resilience and self-confidence and can also help combat negative self-talk that can lead to anxiety and depression.

  • Encourage your teenager to write down positive affirmations, such as “I am capable and strong,” and repeat them to themselves every morning.
  • Encourage your teenager to challenge negative self-talk, such as “I’m not good enough,” and replace it with positive self-talk, such as “I am unique and have my own talents.”

In conclusion, building self-confidence in teenagers is essential to helping them develop into healthy, happy adults. Encourage their passions, praise their efforts, encourage healthy risk-taking, focus on strengths, and practice positive self-talk. By doing so, you can help your teenager build a positive self-image and develop the self-confidence they need to thrive in life.

If you would like help with your teenagers, consider scheduling a session with Ron Huxley, LMFT. Ron has 32 years of experience in child and family therapy. Click here now!

Top 5 Books on Parenting

  1. “How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk” by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish – This classic parenting book provides practical advice and effective communication techniques for parents to better connect with their children. The authors offer strategies for improving communication, managing conflicts, and building solid relationships with kids of all ages.
  2. “Parenting with Love and Logic: Teaching Children Responsibility” by Foster Cline and Jim Fay – This parenting book focuses on teaching children responsibility and decision-making skills. The authors provide strategies for setting healthy boundaries and encouraging children to take ownership of their choices and behaviors.
  3. “The Whole-Brain Child: 12 Revolutionary Strategies to Nurture Your Child’s Developing Mind” by Daniel J. Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson explores the connection between brain development and parenting. The authors provide practical tips and strategies for parents to support their child’s emotional and cognitive development, such as using storytelling and play to connect with kids.
  4. “No-Drama Discipline: The Whole-Brain Way to Calm the Chaos and Nurture Your Child’s Developing Mind” by Daniel J. Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson – Another book by Siegel and Bryson focuses on discipline and ways to guide children’s behavior while building a strong emotional connection. The authors offer practical strategies for managing tantrums and meltdowns, teaching children self-regulation, and fostering empathy and respect.
  5. “The Conscious Parent: Transforming Ourselves, Empowering Our Children” by Dr. Shefali Tsabary – This book challenges traditional parenting approaches and encourages parents to cultivate a deeper awareness of their emotions and behaviors. The author provides practical tips and strategies for becoming more mindful and present with children, encouraging emotional intelligence and authenticity, and building strong parent-child relationships based on mutual respect and trust.

Get more reviews and recommendations at FamilyHealer.tv.

Promoting Healing and Resilience: Trauma-Informed Parenting Strategies for Self-Regulation in Children

Trauma-informed parenting is an approach to parenting that considers the impact of trauma on a child’s emotional and psychological well-being. It recognizes that children who have experienced trauma, abuse, or neglect may struggle to regulate their emotions, form positive relationships, and cope with stress.

Trauma-informed parenting involves creating a safe, stable, and supportive environment for children who have experienced trauma. It emphasizes the importance of safety and predictability while promoting healing and resilience.

Trauma-informed parenting also emphasizes the importance of understanding a child’s trauma history and its impact on their behavior and emotions. This involves being aware of triggers that may re-traumatize a child and learning to respond in a supportive and validating way.

Trauma-informed parenting uses positive discipline strategies that teach appropriate behavior and promote self-regulation rather than punishment or harsh discipline. It also emphasizes the importance of helping children build positive relationships and promoting their sense of self-worth.

Overall, trauma-informed parenting is an approach that emphasizes understanding and responding to a child’s needs in a way that promotes healing, resilience, and positive development.

Promoting self-regulation in a traumatized child can be a challenging but essential aspect of trauma-informed parenting. Self-regulation involves a child’s ability to manage their emotions, thoughts, and behaviors in response to internal and external stressors.

Here are some strategies parents can use to promote self-regulation in their traumatized child:

  1. Model self-regulation: Children learn through observation, so parents must model healthy self-regulation strategies, such as deep breathing, mindfulness, or other coping techniques.
  2. Provide a predictable routine: A consistent and predictable pattern can provide a sense of safety and security for a traumatized child, which can help promote self-regulation.
  3. Create a calming environment: Creating a calm and soothing environment can help a child feel more relaxed and in control, which can help promote self-regulation. This may involve using soft lighting, calming music, or other sensory tools.
  4. Teach coping skills: Teach your child healthy coping skills, such as deep breathing, mindfulness, or other relaxation techniques, to help them manage their emotions and calm their body.
  5. Use positive reinforcement: Praise your child when they demonstrate self-regulation skills and reinforce positive behavior with rewards or incentives.
  6. Encourage physical activity: Physical activity can help a child release pent-up energy and emotions, which can help promote self-regulation. Encourage your child to participate in sports, dance, or yoga activities.

Parents can use these strategies to help their traumatized child develop healthy self-regulation skills, promoting healing, resilience, and positive development.

Self-Regulation

Promoting self-regulation in a traumatized child can be a challenging but essential aspect of trauma-informed parenting. Self-regulation involves a child’s ability to manage their emotions, thoughts, and behaviors in response to internal and external stressors.

Here are some strategies parents can use to promote self-regulation in their traumatized child:

  1. Model self-regulation: Children learn through observation, so parents must model healthy self-regulation strategies, such as deep breathing, mindfulness, or other coping techniques.
  2. Provide a predictable routine: A consistent and predictable pattern can provide a sense of safety and security for a traumatized child, which can help promote self-regulation.
  3. Create a calming environment: Creating a calm and soothing environment can help a child feel more relaxed and in control, which can help promote self-regulation. This may involve using soft lighting, calming music, or other sensory tools.
  4. Teach coping skills: Teach your child healthy coping skills, such as deep breathing, mindfulness, or other relaxation techniques, to help them manage their emotions and calm their body.
  5. Use positive reinforcement: Praise your child when they demonstrate self-regulation skills and reinforce positive behavior with rewards or incentives.
  6. Encourage physical activity: Physical activity can help a child release pent-up energy and emotions, which can help promote self-regulation. Encourage your child to participate in sports, dance, or yoga activities.

Parents can use these strategies to help their traumatized child develop healthy self-regulation skills, promoting healing, resilience, and positive development.

Let Ron Huxley help you and your family find a pathway to healing. Schedule a session today by clicking here!

10 Adlerian Parenting Tips for Children Who Have Experienced Trauma or Abuse

Adlerian parenting is based on the philosophy of Alfred Adler, an Austrian psychiatrist and founder of Adlerian psychology. Adler believed that human behavior is motivated by a desire for belonging, significance, and social connection. Adlerian parenting promotes a child’s competence and self-esteem while encouraging social responsibility and respect for others.


Adlerian parenting emphasizes creating a warm, nurturing, and cheerful home environment where children feel valued loved and supported. Adlerian parents strive to provide opportunities for their children to develop independence, social interest, and positive self-esteem while fostering a sense of community and social responsibility.


Adlerian parenting is based on encouragement, respect, and mutual trust between parents and children. Adlerian parents seek to understand their child’s perspective and feelings while setting clear boundaries and expectations for behavior. Adlerian parenting also emphasizes the importance of positive discipline strategies that focus on teaching appropriate behavior and promoting self-regulation rather than using punishment or harsh discipline.
Overall, the philosophy of Adlerian parenting is focused on promoting a child’s sense of belonging, significance, and social interest while encouraging positive behavior, social responsibility, and respect for others.

  1. Provide a safe and stable environment: Children who have experienced trauma, abuse, or toxic stress need a sense of safety and stability. Create routines, set boundaries, and provide a secure home environment.
  2. Encourage healing through positive reinforcement: Praise your child’s effort and progress towards healing rather than just their achievements. This fosters a sense of resilience and self-worth.
  3. Focus on building trust: Children who have experienced trauma, abuse, or toxic stress often struggle to trust others. Take the time to listen to your child and validate their feelings, which can help rebuild trust.
  4. Use positive discipline strategies: Instead of punishment or harsh discipline, use positive methods that teach appropriate behavior and promote self-regulation.
  5. Foster a sense of community: Encourage your child to be involved in positive community activities and develop positive relationships with peers. This helps them feel supported and less isolated.
  6. Provide opportunities for choice and control: Children who have experienced trauma, abuse, or toxic stress may feel powerless. Providing options and opportunities for power can help build their self-esteem and sense of agency.
  7. Use trauma-informed parenting techniques: Learn about techniques and strategies, such as sensory regulation, grounding exercises, and mindfulness, that can help children who have experienced trauma, abuse, or toxic stress.
  8. Model healthy coping strategies: Children learn by example, so model healthy coping strategies and positive self-care behaviors, such as deep breathing, mindfulness, and exercise.
  9. Provide opportunities for play and creative expression: Play and creative expression can help children process and heal from trauma, abuse, or toxic stress. Provide opportunities for imaginative play, art, and other forms of creative expression.
  10. Seek professional support: Children who have experienced trauma, abuse, or toxic stress may benefit from professional support. Consider seeking therapy, counseling, or other support services to help your child heal and thrive.

Contact Ron Huxley, LMFT, to schedule a session if you need support on parenting tips and tools.

Digital Parenting is a Big Problem for Parents in 2023

It’s 2023, and parenting is changing just like everything else at a pace parents struggle to cope with. Technology has changed the way we communicate, the way we learn, and even the way we parent. It’s no surprise that digital parenting will be one of the biggest problems.

First, parents are trying to cope with their children’s virtual learning. With the increasing number of online classes and virtual schooling options, parents are trying to figure out how to make virtual learning work for their kids. They’re looking for ways to create a productive home learning environment, manage their kids’ online classes, and stay connected with their kids’ teachers and classmates.

Second, “digital parenting” is a growing struggle for parents in 2023. As technology becomes increasingly integrated into our lives, parents are trying to figure out how to monitor their kids’ online activities while still allowing them freedom. Parents need clarification about setting boundaries, teaching responsible screen use, and monitoring children’s digital activities. They’re attempting to protect children from cyberbullying and online predators.

Parents have differing views about how to manage their children’s screen time. With so many devices and platforms available, tracking how much time kids spend on screens can be tricky. Parents are looking for strategies to manage screen time and create a healthy balance of online and offline activities for their kids. Part of the problem is that parents need to become more familiar with the digital world, as are their children. Children can run circles around parents on operating computers and manipulating monitoring software.

It is essential that parents set some boundaries and rules, even if they are not perfect. Focus on the types of content your child can access, the amount of time they can spend online, and the people they can interact with. These boundaries should be age-appropriate and consider your child’s maturity level.

Parents will have to model responsible use of technology. Sit with children, ask questions, be open about how to use the internet safely and securely, protect themselves, and be wary of potential risks. Don’t shy away from difficult conversations about cyberbullying and online predators.

Even if you can’t control or out-think your child when it comes to technology, stay active in monitoring what your child is doing online. If warranted, search internet browser history, follow their social media accounts, and even look through children’s posts/messages.

Discuss limits with children to get their input on what they think is appropriate. Parents can make the final decisions, but getting children to take some ownership of the limits they recommend will increase cooperation. Let children teach you about social media and internet use.

Here is a list of the best websites parents can use to better understand how to manage digital parenting and technology.

  1. Common Sense Media: Common Sense Media is an invaluable resource for digital parenting. They offer various resources, from age-appropriate media recommendations to online safety tools. They also provide guidance on talking to kids about online safety and setting up parental controls.
  2. National PTA: The National Parent Teacher Association (PTA) is an excellent resource for parents looking to better understand how to manage digital parenting and technology. The PTA offers a variety of resources, including tips on how to set up a family media plan, how to talk to kids about online safety, and how to recognize signs of cyberbullying.
  3. Connect Safely: Connect Safely is a nonprofit organization providing parents with safety tips and guidance on managing digital parenting and technology. They offer a wealth of resources, including a parent guide to social media, a guide to online gaming, and advice on creating a family media plan.
  4. Parent Zone: Parent Zone is a website dedicated to helping parents and carers understand and manage digital parenting and technology. They offer a range of resources, from advice on setting up parental controls to tips on talking to kids about online safety.
  5. Net Aware: Net Aware is a website run by the UK’s National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children (NSPCC). It provides parents with reviews and advice on social media platforms, apps, and games, as well as tips on how to keep children safe online.
  6. Media Smarts: Media Smarts is a Canadian organization that provides parents with resources to manage digital parenting and technology. They offer a range of resources, including tips on how to talk to kids about online safety, spot and respond to cyberbullying, and set up parental controls.
  7. Microsoft Family Safety: Microsoft Family Safety is a free app that helps parents manage their family’s digital experience. The app provides parents with tools to set limits on screen time, content, and insights into their children’s online activities.
  8. Be Internet Awesome: Be Internet Awesome is a program from Google that teaches kids digital safety and citizenship. The program includes activities, games, and resources to help kids understand online security and make intelligent decisions.

6 Steps Adoptive Parents Need to Learn

When you adopt a child, it’s not uncommon to find yourself parenting a child who has been traumatized. The emotional regulation skills that all children learn in their early years were probably not developed as well as they could have been in the child’s pre-adoption life, and now you’re facing the task of helping your child learn how to manage their emotions.

It’s not always easy, but some strategies can help make this process easier. Here are some tips for dealing with emotionally dysregulated children who were adopted:

1.) Learn about trauma and its effects on developing minds and bodies.

2.) Learn about emotional regulation and how it develops in children.

3.) Identify what emotional regulation looks like for your child—what do they do when they get upset? How do they express anger? Frustration? Sadness? Joy? What helps them calm down when they get upset? What makes them get upset or escalate into inappropriate behaviors? And most importantly: what doesn’t work when they feel overwhelmed by intense emotions?

4.) Since every child is unique, there is no one-size-fits-all approach. Learn brain-based parenting skills and methods.

5) Identity the attachment styles for each family member and discover techniques that create greater security.

6) Take care of yourself. Self-care is not a luxury. It is necessary to be more patient and resilient with your dysregulated child.

Take a free course on Trauma-Informed Care in the home, school, and community at TraumaToolbox.com.

If you need specialized help, contact Ron Huxley today by clicking here and scheduling an appointment.

Tackle the Tech: Screen Time Tips

Parents frequently complain about how much time children spend on their screens. It can become a daily battle for technology, reaching addictive proportions for many children and teens. They seem obsessed with social media, snaps, and games. When denied, they tantrums and rage.

Before the pandemic, I used to advise parents to limit screens to a few hours per week. During the pandemic, the screen was the only access to school and social support. Being held “captive” in quarantine opened the apps and social media again, forcing parents to yield to children’s demands. Now, after the pandemic, I have to help parents with new ways to negotiate screen time.

According to the website, Defend Young Minds, here are 9 questions that can help tackle the technology by setting doable boundaries:

Here are 9 questions to help you establish family screen time boundaries:

  1. Mealtime. Are devices allowed when we are together at meals at home or at restaurants?
  2. Being present. Do we allow face-to-face conversations to be interrupted by a phone call or text?
  3. Time limits. How much screen time should we spend each day?
  4. Location. Where can devices be used? We strongly recommend that children’s devices are used only in common areas of the house and never in bedrooms or bathrooms.
  5. Bedtime. Where are devices recharged at night? We recommend that devices be charged in the parent’s room at night or where kids will not have access.
  6. Asking permission. Do I need to ask before I download apps or games? We recommend utilizing parental controls to disable downloads without permission.
  7. House rules. When friends come over, what restrictions apply to their devices? Some families use a cell phone basket on a counter to corral devices during the visit.
  8. Family visits. When and where can we use our devices when visiting friends or family?
  9. Courtesy. When we are in public, what are the rules for using our devices?

Instead of dictating all of the rules, involve children in the discussion so that they take more ownership. Democracy is better than a dictatorship! Be sure to negotiate consequences for not following the guidelines. Will there be a warning? Parents always have the final word but working together as a family team is the secret to screen management.

School Behaviors: What’s behind it?

Use a trauma-informed lens when dealing with school behaviors / Ron Huxley, LMFT

The school is back in full swing, and parents and teachers may be trying to manage misbehaviors. Don’t be too quick to assume that it is all about MOTIVATION and MANIPULATION. I call this the M and M misunderstanding. Take some time to look behind the behavior and answer the problem under the problem for greater school success.

Consult with Ron Huxley today for additional help…