Parenting Through the Behavioral Storm: Disruptive Mood Dysregulation Disorder

Disruptive Mood Dysregulation Disorder (DMDD) is a relatively newly recognized mental health disorder that primarily affects children and adolescents. It is characterized by severe and recurrent temper outbursts that are out of proportion to the situation, along with a persistently irritable or angry mood between outbursts. These symptoms must be present for at least 12 months and be severe in at least two settings (e.g., home, school, with peers).

DMDD was introduced in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition (DSM-5), which was published in May 2013. It was created to address concerns about overdiagnosis of bipolar disorder in children and to provide a more accurate diagnosis for children who exhibit chronic irritability and temper outbursts without meeting the criteria for bipolar disorder.

DMDD is seen as a way to better classify and treat children with severe irritability and temper outbursts, helping to differentiate them from those with bipolar disorder or oppositional defiant disorder. It’s important to note that DMDD is a relatively new diagnosis and research into its causes and treatment is ongoing.

Treatment for children with Disruptive Mood Dysregulation Disorder (DMDD) typically involves a combination of therapeutic interventions and, in some cases, medication management. Here are some common treatment options:

  1. Psychotherapy: Various forms of psychotherapy can be beneficial for children with DMDD:
  • Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): Helps children learn to identify and challenge negative thought patterns and develop coping strategies to manage their emotions and behavior.
  • Parent Management Training (PMT): Teaches parents effective techniques for managing their child’s behavior, setting appropriate limits, and providing positive reinforcement.
  • Family Therapy: Addresses family dynamics and communication patterns, improves conflict resolution skills, and fosters a supportive environment for the child.
  1. Social Skills Training: Helps children develop interpersonal skills, such as problem-solving, conflict resolution, empathy, and communication skills, which can improve their relationships with peers and family members.
  2. Medication: In some cases, medication may be prescribed to manage specific symptoms associated with DMDD or co-occurring conditions:
  • Antidepressants: Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) or other antidepressants may be prescribed to alleviate symptoms of depression or anxiety.
  • Mood Stabilizers: In cases where mood swings are severe or resemble bipolar disorder, mood stabilizers such as lithium or atypical antipsychotics may be considered.
  1. Parent Education and Support: Providing parents with education about DMDD, guidance on effective parenting strategies, and support in managing their child’s behavior can be crucial in improving family functioning and reducing stress.
  2. School Interventions: Collaboration with teachers and school staff to implement behavior management strategies, accommodations, and supports can help address academic and social difficulties and create a more supportive learning environment for the child.
  3. Stress Management Techniques: Teaching the child relaxation techniques, such as deep breathing exercises, mindfulness, or progressive muscle relaxation, can help them regulate their emotions and reduce stress levels.

Treatment plans should be individualized to meet the specific needs of each child and may involve a multidisciplinary approach involving mental health professionals, educators, and medical providers. Regular monitoring and adjustment of treatment strategies based on the child’s progress are also important for optimal outcomes.

Here are some books and resources that provide information and support specifically on Disruptive Mood Dysregulation Disorder (DMDD):

  1. “The Explosive Child: A New Approach for Understanding and Parenting Easily Frustrated, Chronically Inflexible Children” by Ross W. Greene – While not exclusively focused on DMDD, this book offers valuable insights and strategies for parenting children with explosive behaviors, including those with DMDD.
  2. “Your Defiant Child, Second Edition: Eight Steps to Better Behavior” by Russell A. Barkley and Christine M. Benton – This book provides practical guidance for parents dealing with challenging behaviors in children, including those with DMDD or oppositional defiant disorder (ODD).
  3. “Parenting Your Child with Autism: Practical Solutions, Strategies, and Advice for Helping Your Family” by Anjali Sastry and Blaise Aguirre – Although targeted towards parents of children with autism, this book offers strategies for managing challenging behaviors that may apply to children with DMDD.
  4. “Managing the Meltdown: A Parent’s Guide to The Disruptive Mood Dysregulation Disorder” by Naomi Henderson – This book specifically focuses on DMDD and offers guidance for parents on understanding the disorder, managing meltdowns, and supporting their child’s emotional well-being.
  5. “Raising An Emotionally Intelligent Child: The Heart of Parenting” by John Gottman – While not specifically about DMDD, this book provides insights into fostering emotional intelligence in children, which can be beneficial for parents navigating the challenges of DMDD.
  6. “Parenting Children with ADHD: 10 Lessons That Medicine Cannot Teach” by Vincent J. Monastra – While ADHD and DMDD are distinct disorders, they can share some overlapping symptoms and challenges. This book provides practical advice for parents dealing with behavioral issues in children, including those with DMDD.
  7. “The Highly Sensitive Child: Helping Our Children Thrive When the World Overwhelms Them” by Elaine N. Aron – While not directly related to DMDD, this book offers insights into understanding and supporting highly sensitive children, which may be relevant for parents of children with DMDD who are easily overwhelmed by emotions.

These resources can provide valuable information and support for parents seeking to better understand and manage DMDD in their children. It’s important to consult with mental health professionals for personalized guidance and treatment recommendations tailored to the individual needs of the child and family.

When Your Children Are Hurt By Other Children

As parents, it can be difficult to see our children experience hurt feelings, especially when it comes from their friendships. Whether it’s a disagreement with a friend, feeling left out, or experiencing betrayal, children can be deeply affected by these emotional challenges. However, there are several ways parents can support their children through these difficult times and help them healthily navigate their emotions.

1. Encourage open communication:

  • Create a safe and welcoming environment for your child to express their feelings. Let them know that it’s okay to feel hurt and that you are there to listen without judgment.

2. Validate their feelings:

  • Acknowledge and validate your child’s emotions. Let them know that it’s normal to feel hurt and that their feelings are important.

3. Offer empathy and understanding:

  • Show empathy by putting yourself in your child’s shoes and understanding the situation from their perspective. This can help your child feel heard and supported.

4. Help them identify their emotions:

  • Guide your child in identifying and understanding their emotions. Encourage them to express how they feel and help them label their emotions, such as sadness, anger, or disappointment.

5. Teach problem-solving skills:

  • Help your child brainstorm possible solutions to the situation that caused their hurt feelings. Encourage them to think of ways to resolve the issue or improve the friendship.

6. Foster resiliency:

  • Teach your child that experiencing setbacks in friendships is a normal part of life and that they have the strength to bounce back from these challenges. Encourage them to see the situation as an opportunity for growth.

7. Encourage healthy coping mechanisms:

  • Guide your child in using healthy coping strategies, such as engaging in enjoyable activities, spending time with supportive friends, or practicing mindfulness and relaxation techniques.

8. Role model healthy communication and conflict resolution:

  • Demonstrate positive communication and conflict resolution skills in your own interactions. Children often learn by example, and seeing healthy conflict management at home can have a positive impact on their own behavior.

9. Support their social skills development:

  • Help your child develop their social skills by teaching them about empathy, active listening, and the importance of respecting others’ feelings and boundaries.

10. Seek professional help if needed:

  • If your child’s hurt feelings persist or significantly impact their well-being, consider seeking the help of a mental health professional who specializes in working with children.

By providing a supportive and nurturing environment, parents can play a crucial role in helping their children navigate the complex terrain of friendships and hurt feelings. Through open communication, empathy, and guidance, parents can empower their children to develop resilience and healthy coping skills, ultimately helping them build strong and fulfilling relationships in the future. Remember that every child is unique, and it’s important to tailor your approach to your child’s individual needs and temperament.

Emotions must be Mentioned to be Managed

The phrase “emotions must be mentioned to be managed” encapsulates a profound truth that underlines the importance of acknowledging and articulating our feelings for effective emotional well-being. In the intricate landscape of human emotions, expression serves as a compass, guiding us through the ebbs and flows of our inner experiences.

When we verbalize our emotions, whether joy, sorrow, fear, or excitement, we engage in a form of self-awareness that is fundamental to emotional management. It is a recognition that our feelings are valid and deserving of acknowledgment. This articulation becomes a bridge connecting our internal world with the external, fostering understanding and empathy from others. Moreover, putting emotions into words is an act of personal empowerment, allowing us to gain a clearer perspective on our feelings and paving the way for constructive coping mechanisms.

Failure to mention or communicate our emotions can lead to a build-up of unexpressed sentiments, creating a reservoir of unaddressed issues. This emotional backlog may eventually manifest as stress, anxiety, or even physical ailments. The phrase emphasizes the proactive stance needed to navigate the complexities of emotions – a reminder that vulnerability and openness are not signs of weakness but rather prerequisites for emotional resilience.

In personal relationships, the significance of this phrase becomes even more evident. Effective communication of emotions lays the groundwork for understanding and connection between individuals. It enables the creation of a supportive environment where emotions are not only recognized but also shared. This fosters healthier relationships built on empathy and mutual understanding.

In conclusion, the phrase “emotions must be mentioned to be managed” encapsulates a universal truth about the human experience. It calls for a proactive and expressive approach to emotions, recognizing their importance in our mental and relational well-being. By embracing this principle, we empower ourselves to navigate the complexities of our emotional landscapes with resilience, fostering both personal growth and meaningful connections with others.

    25 Coping Skills for Children with a Highly Sensitive Nervous System

    Here are 25 tools for a coping skills toolbox that can be helpful for a child in managing their emotions and coping with challenging situations:

    1. Stress Ball: A squeezable stress ball can help the child release tension and reduce anxiety.
    2. Breathing Exercises: Include a visual guide or a simple breathing exercise card to help the child practice deep breathing techniques.
    3. Fidget Toys: Small, quiet fidget toys like spinners, cubes, or putty can provide sensory stimulation and promote focus.
    4. Sensory Bottle: Create a sensory bottle filled with glitter, beads, or calming colors for the child to shake and observe when feeling overwhelmed.
    5. Positive Affirmation Cards: Include a set of cards with positive affirmations and encouraging messages for the child to read or recite.
    6. Sensory Brush: A soft sensory brush can be used for gentle tactile stimulation to help regulate the child’s sensory experiences.
    7. Calm-Down Corner Sign: Designate a sign or visual cue for the child’s calm-down corner, signaling a safe space for retreat.
    8. Feelings Journal: Provide a personalized journal for the child to express and reflect on their emotions through writing or drawing.
    9. Noise-canceling Headphones: Noise-cancelling headphones can help the child reduce sensory overload in noisy environments.
    10. Sensory Putty: Offer sensory putty or clay for the child to manipulate and engage in tactile play.
    11. Guided Imagery Recordings: Include audio recordings of guided imagery or relaxation exercises for the child to listen to when needed.
    12. Visual Timers: Use a visual timer to help the child understand and manage time, particularly during transitions or waiting periods.
    13. Comfort Object: Encourage the child to include a comfort object, such as a favorite stuffed animal or blanket, for reassurance.
    14. Coloring Sheets: Provide coloring sheets and colored pencils for the child to engage in calming, creative activities.
    15. Coping Skills Board Game: Introduce a coping skills board game that the child can play to learn and practice different coping strategies.
    16. Sensory Socks or Gloves: Soft, textured socks or gloves can provide comforting tactile input for the child.
    17. Coping Skills Workbook: Include a coping skills workbook with activities and exercises tailored to the child’s needs and interests.
    18. Mindfulness Bell: A small bell or chime can be used as a mindfulness cue for the child to pause and focus on the present moment.
    19. Sensory Chew Necklace: Provide a safe, chewable necklace for the child to use as a sensory tool for oral stimulation.
    20. Nature Sounds Playlist: Curate a playlist of nature sounds or soothing music for the child to listen to for relaxation.
    21. Emotion Cards: Use cards with various emotions depicted to help the child identify and express how they are feeling.
    22. Sensory Tactile Cards: Create tactile cards with different textures for the child to touch and explore when seeking sensory input.
    23. Coping Skills Puzzles: Include puzzles that showcase coping skills or positive affirmations for the child to assemble.
    24. Sensory Bubble Timer: Provide a sensory bubble timer for the child to watch as a calming visual sensory tool.
    25. Coping Skills Journal Prompts: Develop a list of journal prompts to inspire the child to explore their emotions and coping strategies.

    These tools can be tailored to the child’s preferences and individual needs, providing a diverse array of options for managing emotions and promoting self-regulation. The coping skills toolbox serves as a resource for the child to access when they need support in navigating their emotions and finding comfort during challenging moments.

    Navigating the Zones of Growth: What Zone Are You In?


    With all of the challenges we have to deal with in life, the need for comfort becomes important. I like to feel safe and in control. You wouldn’t? Unfortunately, while the comfort zone offers familiarity and security, it can also deny us opportunities for learning and growth. Perhaps we could even say that control is an illusionary idea given how little is possible and how much lack of control expands around us.

    What is outside the comfort zone? We imagine fear and danger to lie outside of our comfort zones. This might come from some very real experiences with harmful situations and people. Our childhood could be filled with hurt and loss. Everyone feels the weight of the “fear zone” where uncertainty and discomfort reign. The truth is that we have to cross this zone in order to enter the territory of learning and growth. We all want learning and growth, but only the most resilient can travel there.

    In this article, we’ll look at the various zones of life and some strategies for navigating them. Our hope is that we can develop a mindset for coping with challenges. We will call this the “Growth Mindset”.

    The Zones of Growth

    Comfort Zone: This zone represents familiarity and routine. While it provides a sense of security, growth is limited within its confines.

    Fear Zone: Characterized by discomfort and uncertainty, this zone holds challenges that often trigger anxiety and reluctance to step outside one’s comfort zone.

    Learning Zone: Here, challenges are viewed as opportunities for growth. Embracing discomfort becomes a pathway to acquiring new skills and experiences.

    Growth Zone: Transformation occurs in this zone, where individuals leverage their learning experiences to achieve personal and professional development.

    Strategies for a Growth Mindset:

    Reframing Beliefs

    To embark on this transformative journey, one must bravely confront deeply rooted, fixed beliefs. These convictions, often formed over time, can limit our potential for growth. By challenging these mental barriers and replacing them with thoughts that cultivate learning and development, we unlock doors to previously unexplored possibilities.

    The process of reframing beliefs involves consciously examining the narratives we tell ourselves. Are we confined by the limitations we’ve accepted, or are we open to the potential of growth and evolution? It’s about embracing a mindset that sees challenges not as roadblocks but as opportunities for learning and advancement.

    This shift in perspective isn’t instantaneous; it’s a deliberate and ongoing practice. It involves acknowledging the power of our thoughts in shaping our reality and actively choosing beliefs that empower us to adapt, learn, and progress.

    By fostering a mindset that welcomes change and growth, we open ourselves to a world of opportunities previously obscured by fixed perceptions. It’s about rewriting the script of our inner dialogue to one that propels us toward our fullest potential.

    Developing Gratitude Practices

    Numerous studies have underscored the profound impact of gratitude on our mental and emotional well-being. It’s not merely a fleeting sentiment but a transformative practice that reshapes our outlook on life.

    When we deliberately cultivate gratitude, we engage in a conscious act of acknowledging the blessings and positives that surround us. This deliberate shift in focus doesn’t negate the existence of challenges; rather, it reframes our perspective, allowing us to perceive the world through a lens of abundance rather than scarcity.

    Research in psychology and neuroscience corroborates the benefits of this practice. It’s fascinating to discover that our brains exhibit measurable changes when we consistently express gratitude. The act of acknowledging and appreciating the good in our lives stimulates neural pathways associated with positivity and contentment, consequently reducing stress and fostering resilience.

    By directing our attention to moments of gratitude, we redirect our energy away from dwelling solely on obstacles and hardships. This redirection doesn’t deny the reality of difficulties but enables us to find silver linings, lessons to be learned, and strengths to be honed amidst adversities.

    Practicing gratitude isn’t confined to grand gestures or extraordinary events; it’s about embracing the ordinary moments and finding joy in the seemingly mundane. It’s about expressing appreciation for the people who enrich our lives, the opportunities that come our way, and the lessons embedded in each experience.

    Incorporating gratitude into our daily routines transforms our perspectives, allowing us to approach challenges with a mindset centered on possibilities rather than limitations. It’s a powerful tool for nurturing resilience and fostering a sense of fulfillment amidst life’s fluctuations.

    Savoring WOW Moments

    In the tapestry of our lives, moments of triumph, no matter how seemingly insignificant, hold profound significance. These “WOW moments,” when savored and celebrated, become more than mere checkpoints; they are the threads weaving a narrative of progress and resilience.

    There’s a unique power in acknowledging and celebrating our achievements, regardless of their scale. These moments act as beacons of light in the midst of challenges, illuminating the path forward. By acknowledging our successes—whether mastering a new skill, completing a task or overcoming a hurdle—we affirm our capabilities and fuel the fire of motivation within us.

    These moments serve as more than just markers in our journey; they stand as testaments to our resilience and dedication. They remind us of the hurdles we’ve conquered, the skills we’ve honed, and the strength we’ve displayed in navigating life’s complexities. In celebrating these achievements, we embed within ourselves a sense of confidence and self-assurance.

    Moreover, the act of savoring these WOW moments isn’t confined to the joy of accomplishment alone; it’s about imprinting the emotional resonance of success. It’s about relishing the emotions associated with achievement—the sense of fulfillment, the pride in our efforts, and the thrill of progress. By immersing ourselves in these positive emotions, we solidify our resolve to tackle future challenges with a positive mindset.

    In the hustle and bustle of daily life, it’s easy to overlook these small victories, dismissing them as inconsequential. Yet, when consciously acknowledged and celebrated, they become catalysts for further growth. They infuse us with a sense of momentum, encouraging us to strive for more, to push our boundaries, and to embrace the pursuit of excellence.

    By honoring and savoring these WOW moments, we foster a culture of positivity within ourselves—an outlook that continuously seeks and appreciates the beauty in progress. It’s about celebrating the journey as much as the destination and recognizing that each step forward, regardless of its size, propels us towards our aspirations.

    Enhancing Compassion Satisfaction

    In the intricate balance of giving and receiving, there exists a profound distinction between compassion satisfaction and compassion fatigue. While both involve the engagement with others’ needs, their impact on personal well-being starkly differs.

    Compassion satisfaction, the positive emotional experience derived from helping others, transcends mere altruism. It’s the deep-rooted satisfaction that springs from lending a hand, making a difference, and witnessing positive outcomes. This emotional reward fuels personal growth, nurturing within us a sense of fulfillment that reverberates far beyond the act of giving. Boundaried generosity, where we offer support within our capacity and without compromising our well-being, becomes the cornerstone for cultivating our strengths while aiding others.

    Conversely, compassion fatigue lurks in the shadows of boundless empathy. It’s the emotional toll incurred when we extend ourselves beyond our limits, neglecting our own needs while striving to meet the needs of others. When we pour from an empty vessel, the well of empathy begins to dry, leading to emotional exhaustion and a diminished capacity to provide effective support.

    The key lies in recognizing the delicate equilibrium between giving and self-preservation. Engaging in acts of kindness and support is undeniably noble, but it necessitates setting boundaries, ensuring that our acts of generosity stem from a place of abundance rather than depletion.

    “Boundaried generosity” allows us to cultivate a sustainable approach to helping others—one that doesn’t drain our emotional reserves but replenishes them. It’s about recognizing our capacity for giving without compromising our well-being, thereby creating a solid foundation for our own growth and resilience.

    When we approach acts of compassion with mindful boundaries, we create a harmonious cycle. By ensuring that our well-being remains intact, we fortify ourselves to offer genuine, impactful support to those in need. This conscious balance allows us to derive satisfaction from our acts of kindness while safeguarding our emotional vitality.

    In nurturing compassion satisfaction through boundaried generosity, we foster not only the growth of others but also the fortification of our own strengths. It becomes a symbiotic relationship where both giver and receiver benefit, creating a ripple effect of positivity and resilience within ourselves and the community around us.

    Introducing Micro Self-Care Practices

    Amidst life’s bustling demands and responsibilities, the concept of self-care often takes a backseat. Yet, within the realm of our daily routines lie invaluable micro self-care practices that can transform our well-being.

    Micro self-care, the art of integrating small yet impactful acts of self-nurturing into our daily lives, serves as the bedrock of our mental and emotional resilience. These practices, though seemingly modest, possess the transformative power to elevate our mindset and fortify our capacity for growth.

    From the quiet moments spent sipping a cup of tea in the morning to the deliberate pause for deep, intentional breaths throughout the day, these tiny rituals infuse our lives with pockets of tranquility. They act as subtle anchors, grounding us amidst the storm of daily stressors and rejuvenating our spirits.

    Integrating these practices into our routines isn’t merely about indulgence—it’s about prioritizing our mental well-being. It’s recognizing that self-care isn’t selfish but a fundamental necessity for sustaining a healthy mindset conducive to growth. By carving out these moments for ourselves, we signal to our inner selves that our well-being matters.

    Micro self-care practices vary widely, tailored to individual preferences and needs. Whether it’s taking a brief walk amidst nature, journaling thoughts before bedtime, or engaging in a few moments of mindfulness meditation, these small yet intentional acts replenish our emotional reserves.

    These practices aren’t bound by time constraints; they’re seamlessly woven into the fabric of our daily lives. It’s about infusing moments of self-compassion into our routines, acknowledging our worthiness of care and attention amidst life’s whirlwind.

    By embracing micro self-care, we establish a continuous cycle of nurturing our mental and emotional well-being. These seemingly inconsequential moments of self-indulgence serve as the cornerstone of a healthy mindset—a mindset that thrives on resilience, adaptability, and the unwavering belief in our capacity for growth.

    Embracing Growth Mindset: The Journey Forward

    Embracing a growth mindset isn’t merely a destination but an ongoing journey—one that demands unwavering commitment and resilience in navigating the various zones of personal evolution.

    Transitioning through these zones—the comfort, fear, learning, and growth zones—is akin to embarking on a voyage of self-discovery. It necessitates more than a passive acknowledgment of these zones; it requires an active engagement, an introspective gaze into our current position, and a deliberate choice to steer ourselves toward growth.

    Persistence becomes our trusted companion in this journey. It’s the unwavering determination to persist despite challenges and setbacks. It’s about acknowledging that obstacles aren’t roadblocks but stepping stones towards progress. By embracing persistence, we infuse our journey with a spirit of resilience—the ability to bounce back stronger from adversities.

    Central to this journey is the conscious recognition of the zone we occupy. It’s about taking a candid inventory of our thoughts, beliefs, and actions, discerning whether we’re confined within the comfort of familiarity or traversing the unfamiliar yet transformative terrain of growth.

    Conscious choice-making becomes our compass. It’s the deliberate decision to step beyond the confines of comfort or fear, to venture into the realm of the unknown learning zone, and ultimately, to thrive in the expansive growth zone. It’s about embracing discomfort as a catalyst for learning and improvement.

    Cultivating a growth mindset isn’t an overnight transformation; it’s a continuous commitment to personal growth. It’s about nurturing a mindset that sees challenges as opportunities, failures as lessons, and effort as the pathway to mastery. It’s the unwavering belief in our capacity to adapt, evolve, and thrive amidst life’s fluctuations.

    As we navigate this journey forward, let us carry with us the torch of persistence, resilience, and an unyielding commitment to personal growth. Let us bravely recognize our current zone and choose to move consciously towards the zones that foster learning and growth—a journey that shapes not just our destination but our very essence.

    Resources for Further Exploration

    • Dweck, C. S. (2006). Mindset: The New Psychology of Success.
    • Emmons, R. A. (2007). Thanks!: How the New Science of Gratitude Can Make You Happier.
    • Fredrickson, B. L. (2009). Positivity: Top-Notch Research Reveals the Upward Spiral That Will Change Your Life.
    • Neff, K. D. (2011). Self-Compassion: Stop Beating Yourself Up and Leave Insecurity Behind.

    Nurturing Hearts and Minds: Trauma-Informed SEL

    In the intricate tapestry of education, we often encounter students with untold stories of resilience and strength, hidden beneath the shadows of past traumas. As educators and caregivers, it is our collective responsibility to create an environment that not only nurtures academic growth but also prioritizes emotional well-being. Enter Trauma-Informed Social-Emotional Learning (SEL), an approach that stands as a beacon of hope for our students who have faced adversity. In this blog article, we embark on a journey to explore the profound impact of trauma-informed SEL in schools and homes, witnessing its transformative power in cultivating resilient hearts and compassionate minds. Join us as we uncover the key elements that make SEL a profound refuge for healing, growth, and academic triumph.

    History of Social-Emotional Learning (SEL):

    Social-Emotional Learning (SEL) is an educational approach that focuses on nurturing and developing students’ social and emotional skills. It aims to help students understand and manage their emotions, establish positive relationships, demonstrate empathy and compassion, make responsible decisions, and effectively communicate with others. SEL recognizes the importance of fostering emotional intelligence and well-being to enhance students’ overall academic success and prepare them for life beyond the classroom.

    1. Emergence in the 20th Century: The roots of SEL can be traced back to the early 20th century, with early theories in psychology emphasizing the significance of emotional development and interpersonal skills in individuals’ lives.
    2. The Humanistic Psychology Movement: In the 1950s and 1960s, humanistic psychologists, such as Carl Rogers and Abraham Maslow, emphasized the importance of understanding and nurturing human emotions, self-awareness, and self-esteem.
    3. The Social Skills Movement: In the 1970s, there was a growing emphasis on teaching social skills to students, recognizing that interpersonal competence plays a vital role in students’ overall adjustment and academic performance.
    4. Collaborative for Academic, Social, and Emotional Learning (CASEL): In 1994, CASEL was established as a nonprofit organization to promote SEL in educational settings. CASEL has played a pivotal role in advancing research, setting standards, and providing resources for implementing evidence-based SEL programs.
    5. The Recognition of Emotional Intelligence: In the mid-1990s, the concept of emotional intelligence gained prominence, with scholars like Daniel Goleman highlighting the importance of emotional intelligence in personal and professional success.
    6. Introduction of SEL Programs: Throughout the late 1990s and early 2000s, various SEL programs were developed and implemented in schools worldwide. Programs like “Second Step,” “Responsive Classroom,” and “Positive Action” aimed to enhance students’ social and emotional competencies.
    7. Incorporation into Educational Standards: Over time, SEL has been increasingly recognized as an essential component of education. Many educational systems and states in the United States have incorporated SEL into their curriculum and standards.
    8. Research and Validation: A growing body of research in the 21st century has provided strong evidence for the positive impact of SEL on students’ academic achievement, well-being, and long-term success.
    9. Global Adoption: SEL has gained international recognition, with schools and educational institutions around the world embracing SEL principles as part of their holistic approach to education.

    Is SEL also TIC?

    SEL skills are inherently trauma-informed due to their focus on fostering emotional intelligence, self-awareness, and empathy. Trauma-informed SEL recognizes that many students may have experienced adverse events or challenging circumstances, and it acknowledges the potential impact of trauma on their emotional and social development. Here’s some reasons why Social-Emotional Learnings skills are based on Trauma-Informed Care:

    1. Creating Safe and Supportive Environments: Trauma-informed SEL emphasizes the importance of creating safe and supportive learning environments. By prioritizing emotional safety, students are encouraged to express themselves without fear of judgment or retribution. This supportive atmosphere allows children to build trust with their teachers and peers, fostering a sense of security necessary for healing and growth.
    2. Promoting Emotional Regulation: SEL equips students with essential emotional regulation skills, empowering them to manage their emotions effectively. For students who have experienced trauma, emotions can be overwhelming and challenging to control. Learning techniques to identify, understand, and cope with emotions enables students to navigate their feelings constructively, reducing the risk of triggers and emotional dysregulation.
    3. Encouraging Resilience: Trauma-informed SEL emphasizes the development of resilience in students. By teaching coping strategies and problem-solving skills, students gain the ability to bounce back from adverse experiences, promoting a sense of mastery and self-efficacy. Resilience enables students to face and overcome challenges, a vital aspect of healing from trauma.
    4. Cultivating Empathy and Understanding: SEL activities promote empathy and understanding among students. By encouraging perspective-taking and active listening, trauma-informed SEL fosters a compassionate and empathetic school community. For students who have experienced trauma, feeling understood and supported by peers can be immensely healing.
    5. Addressing Trauma’s Impact on Learning: Trauma can significantly affect a student’s ability to focus, learn, and engage in the classroom. Trauma-informed SEL recognizes and addresses these impacts, providing strategies to support students’ academic progress while considering their emotional well-being.
    6. Building Strong Relationships: Trauma-informed SEL emphasizes building strong and positive relationships between teachers and students. Establishing secure attachments with caring adults can be transformative for students who have experienced trauma, as it provides a reliable source of support and nurturance.
    7. Encouraging Student Agency: Trauma-informed SEL emphasizes empowering students to have agency in their own healing and development. By involving students in setting goals and making decisions about their learning, they gain a sense of control and ownership over their growth process, which can be particularly empowering for those who have experienced trauma.

    SEL skills are TIC because they prioritize emotional well-being, foster safe and supportive environments, promote emotional regulation, and encourage resilience and empathy. By incorporating trauma-informed SEL practices in educational settings, we can better support all students, including those who have experienced trauma, on their journey to healing, growth, and academic success.

    How do you do SEL?

    Here are twenty ways that a classroom or home can can use social-emotional learning skills:

    1. Mindful Breathing: Teach children to practice deep breathing to calm their minds and manage stress.
    2. Emotion Check-In: Encourage students to express their feelings and emotions through check-in sessions at the beginning of the day.
    3. Journaling: Provide students with journals to write about their experiences, emotions, and reflections.
    4. Gratitude Circle: Gather students to share things they are thankful for, fostering a positive and appreciative mindset.
    5. Empathy Role Play: Engage students in role-playing scenarios to develop empathy and understanding of others’ perspectives.
    6. Positive Affirmations: Incorporate daily affirmations to boost self-esteem and promote a positive self-image.
    7. Conflict Resolution: Teach problem-solving strategies and communication skills to handle conflicts constructively.
    8. Growth Mindset Activities: Encourage a growth mindset by celebrating effort, persistence, and learning from mistakes.
    9. Acts of Kindness: Implement acts of kindness challenges, where students perform random acts of kindness for others.
    10. SEL Read-Alouds: Use books with SEL themes to spark discussions and reflections on emotions and social situations.
    11. Mindfulness Exercises: Introduce various mindfulness activities, such as body scans and mindful eating, to promote focus and self-awareness.
    12. SEL Board Games: Utilize board games that promote cooperation, empathy, and emotional intelligence.
    13. Social Skills Charades: Play a game of charades to practice identifying and expressing different emotions and social cues.
    14. Team-Building Activities: Engage students in team-building exercises to foster collaboration and teamwork.
    15. SEL Art Projects: Use art as a medium for students to express their emotions and promote creativity.
    16. SEL Puzzles: Create puzzles with emotions and social situations to encourage problem-solving and emotional recognition.
    17. SEL Videos: Show age-appropriate videos that highlight social-emotional themes for group discussions.
    18. Relaxation Exercises: Lead guided relaxation sessions to help students unwind and manage stress.
    19. SEL Reflection Sheets: Provide reflection sheets for students to assess their emotional states and set goals for improvement.
    20. SEL Appreciation Letters: Encourage students to write appreciation letters to peers, teachers, or family members, recognizing their positive qualities and actions.

    Remember that these activities can be adapted based on the age group and preferences of the children. By incorporating these SEL activities into both classroom and home settings, children can develop essential social-emotional skills that will benefit them throughout their lives.

    Resources for SEL:

    Popular Internet Sites for SEL Resources:

    1. CASEL (Collaborative for Academic, Social, and Emotional Learning): Offers research-based resources, lesson plans, and information on implementing SEL in schools and communities.
      Website: https://casel.org/
    2. Edutopia – Social and Emotional Learning: A collection of articles, videos, and practical tips for integrating SEL into classrooms.
      Website: https://www.edutopia.org/topic/sel-social-emotional-learning
    3. Greater Good Magazine – Education: Provides articles and resources on SEL, mindfulness, and positive psychology for educators and parents.
      Website: https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/education
    4. Understood: Offers resources and support for parents and teachers working with children with learning and attention issues, including SEL strategies.
      Website: https://www.understood.org/en/school-learning/learning-at-home/social-emotional-skills
    5. Teach Starter – Social-Emotional Learning: Provides downloadable resources, posters, and activities to support SEL in the classroom.
      Website: https://www.teachstarter.com/us/teaching-resource-collection/social-emotional-learning-us/

    Popular Books on SEL for Parents and Teachers:

    These websites and books offer valuable insights, strategies, and practical tools for parents and teachers to support children’s social and emotional development effectively. Whether it’s in the classroom or at home, incorporating SEL practices can positively impact a child’s overall well-being and success.

    The Growing Impact of Social-Emotional Learning in Education

    1. “The Whole-Brain Child: 12 Revolutionary Strategies to Nurture Your Child’s Developing Mind” by Daniel J. Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson.
    2. “Mindful Games: Sharing Mindfulness and Meditation with Children, Teens, and Families” by Susan Kaiser Greenland.
    3. “Permission to Feel: Unlocking the Power of Emotions to Help Our Kids, Ourselves, and Our Society Thrive” by Marc Brackett.
    4. “SEL Every Day: Integrating Social and Emotional Learning with Instruction in Secondary Classrooms” by Meena Srinivasan.
    5. “The Self-Driven Child: The Science and Sense of Giving Your Kids More Control Over Their Lives” by William Stixrud and Ned Johnson.
    6. “The Power of Showing Up: How Parental Presence Shapes Who Our Kids Become and How Their Brains Get Wired” by Daniel J. Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson.
    7. “Teaching Kids to Thrive: Essential Skills for Success” by Debbie Silver, Dedra Stafford, and Jack C. Berckemeyer.
    8. “Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child: The Heart of Parenting” by John Gottman and Joan DeClaire.
    9. “The Emotionally Intelligent Parent: How to Raise a Self-Disciplined, Responsible, Socially Skilled Child” by Maurice J. Elias and Steven E. Tobias.
    10. “Lost at School: Why Our Kids with Behavioral Challenges are Falling Through the Cracks and How We Can Help Them” by Ross W. Greene.

    The Promising Future of SEL in TIC

    The McGraw Hill survey conducted in July 2021 highlighted a positive trend in the United States. More than half of the educators surveyed reported that their schools had already embraced SEL curriculum, indicating a shift towards recognizing the value of addressing students’ social and emotional needs.

    As SEL continues to gain momentum, it will undoubtedly play an instrumental role in shaping the future of education. By prioritizing the emotional well-being of students, educational institutions can create nurturing environments where students flourish academically and emotionally. SEL empowers students with crucial life skills that extend beyond the classroom, contributing to their overall personal and professional success.

    Helping Children Focus in School After Trauma…

    When children experience trauma, it can be difficult to focus and stay engaged in the classroom. Fortunately, many social-emotional learning activities can help children develop the skills they need to stay focused and engaged in the classroom. Here are 10 ways children can use social-emotional learning activities to help them focus in the classroom after experiencing trauma.

    1. Positive Self-Talk: Positive self-talk can be a powerful tool for helping children to stay focused and engaged in the classroom. Encourage your child to practice positive self-talk by repeating mantras and affirmations to themselves throughout the day. This will help them to stay positive and motivated, even when facing challenging tasks.

    2. Mindfulness: Mindfulness activities can help children to stay in the present moment and pay attention to what is happening in the classroom. Encourage your child to practice mindfulness activities like deep breathing and body scans to help them stay focused and engaged.

    3. Visualization: Visualization activities can help children to create positive images in their minds, which can help them stay focused and engaged in the classroom. Encourage your child to practice visualization activities, such as imagining a peaceful place or positive future, to help them stay on task.

    4. Social Skills: Social skills can help children stay engaged in the classroom and positively interact with their peers. Encourage your child to practice social skills, such as active listening, problem-solving, and conflict resolution.

    5. Emotional Regulation: Emotional regulation activities can help children to manage their emotions and stay focused in the classroom. Encourage your child to practice emotional regulation activities like deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, and positive self-talk.

    6. Self-Awareness: Self-awareness activities can help children to understand their emotions, thoughts, and behaviors. Encourage your child to practice self-awareness activities such as journaling, reflecting on their experiences, and talking to a trusted adult.

    7. Goal Setting: Goal-setting activities can help children to stay focused and motivated in the classroom. Encourage your child to set short-term goals that are achievable and to create a plan for how to reach those goals.

    8. Problem-Solving: Problem-solving activities can help children to think flexibly and stay focused in the classroom. Encourage your child to practice problem-solving activities, such as brainstorming, making lists, and breaking down tasks into smaller steps.

    9. Self-Care: Self-care activities can help children to stay focused and engaged in the classroom. Encourage your child to practice self-care activities such as getting enough sleep, eating healthy meals, and engaging in physical activity.

    10. Connecting With Others: Connecting with others can help children to stay focused and engaged in the classroom. Encourage your child to connect with peers by talking to them, listening to their stories, and engaging in conversations.

    Ron Huxley can help your and your child focus and learn after dealing with stress and trauma. Ron Huxley is a licensed therapist specializing in anxiety and trauma. Contact him today!

    5 Beliefs That Keep You from Attacking Your Goals

    Everyone has dreams, but not everyone makes their dreams into goals. You may have a few of these too. What are the reasons you tell yourself late at night to put the shutdown on making them a reality? These reasons are beliefs that you have, but that doesn’t mean they are valid reasons.

    1. Not Enough Time

    Everyone is busy these days. When someone asks how you are doing, you probably respond with “Busy.” But that might not be the truth. Everyone has the same twenty-four hours in the day. For a week or maybe two, keep a time ladder of how you spent your time. This includes sleeping, preparing and eating meals, social media, getting ready for work, cleaning your house. Take a good look at how your time is spent, and you might realize you have more time than you realize.

    1. I Don’t Have ‘X’ Talent

    It doesn’t matter if you want to write a book or paint a picture, you have as much talent as you are willing to work for. You may not have been born with the natural ability to paint, it doesn’t mean you can’t learn and practice. 

    1. After ‘X’ I Will Do It

    “Once I get through this (insert tough project at work), I will start training for that marathon.” “After I lose twenty pounds, I will take a salsa dancing class.” Why are you waiting? Maybe that marathon training will help you work through the stress of that project at work. Perhaps salsa dancing lessons will allow you realize that no matter your weight, your body is worthy of fun and sexy movement. If you have a goal, go for it now.

    1. I’m Not Good Enough

    What ruler are you using to measure your “good enough”? You are always good enough to go after your own dreams and goals. If this is an internal dialogue, then you need to work on liking and loving yourself first. If this belief is coming from external sources, then consider those sources and if they are holding you back.

    1. ‘X’ Person Has it Easier

    The grass is greener where you water it. Walk a mile in someone else’s shoes. There are many sayings that sum up that you really don’t know what someone else is going through. So do not assume that someone has it easier, and therefore can achieve their goals while you cannot. That person may think you have it easier or better.

    Self-limiting beliefs can be a slippery slope. They can also keep you from even trying to reach your goals. Take time to examine your reasoning and come up with better beliefs to counter the negative ones.

    Let Ron Huxley help you today. Schedule a session or take a free course at FamilyHealer.tv

    6 Tips To Make Fear Your Friend

    What makes you afraid? Is it losing someone you love? Or is it having to see your dentist? Maybe you fear thunderstorms or heights or elevators.

    Whatever it is, fear is normal. It’s how our body warns us of dangerous situations and that we should be careful.

    Yet, sometimes, our fears can become so great that they hold us back from living up to our full potential. They fill us with dread and uncertainty that we soon become constantly stressed and anxious over the smallest things.

    Although surprisingly, fear, in its positive form, can actually be good for us. It can inspire innovative ideas and motivate us to reach new heights.

    So, we’re here today to help you make fear your friend. Follow the six tips below, and you’ll know how to turn what was once your foe into an ally.

    Let’s get started.

    1. Identify the Source

    This is probably the hardest step, but it’s absolutely worth it. But first, you need to come to terms with the source of your fear in order to overcome it.

    Being aware of the root cause will be difficult in the beginning, but it’ll make you stronger. You’ll no longer live in the shadow of that big, insurmountable fear.

    1. Embrace It

    You’ve come face-to-face with your fear. Now, it’s time to embrace it.

    But before you do that, you have to actually admit that such-and-such scares you. There are several ways to do this. First, you can either say it aloud, preferably to someone else in a natural setting.

    You can also write it down in a journal or diary. The point is to get it out of your head and into real life. That’s when your fear loses its control over you.

    It also feels better to get it off your chest and share it with the world. You’ll be surprised to know just how many people are just as afraid as you are.

    1. Think Rationally

    Fear makes us panic, and panic makes us do stupid things. In fact, studies show that when we panic, our prefrontal cortex shuts down. This is the region of our brain responsible for rational thinking.

    So, case in point, learn how to think rationally despite your worries and panic. Make fear your friend, and you’ll be able to go a lot farther in life.

    1. Take Stock

    People deal with fear, stress, and anxiety in different ways. Some people like to be challenged and are great under pressure. Others find it better to work at their own pace without any tight deadlines looming overhead.

    Whichever way you prefer, the important thing is not to let fear get the better of you. For example, say you’re afraid to speak in public. But then a colleague suddenly got sick and asked you to take over the presentation you’ve been preparing for weeks.

    In this scenario, you have to pick whether you’ll let your fear overpower you or whether you’ll rise to the challenge.

    The latter won’t be easy, but it’ll definitely be worth it in the long run. Be objective and tell yourself that others have held presentations before and have lived to tell about it. So, what’s the big deal?

    Remember, your mind tends to blow things out of proportion. So, find a way to deal with the stress and take stock. It’s the only way you’ll be able to harness your fear and get the job done.

    1. Find Support

    No one ever failed by having a strong support system. Surround yourself with people who encourage you to do better. These are the people who listen to you when you’re venting about your fears and anxiety, and they still choose to love you unconditionally.

    A lot of research has been carried out on the benefits of having a support system. It empowers you with good coping skills while boosting your self-esteem and overall well-being.

    Moreover, a sound support system can lower stress, anxiety, and depression rates. 

    1. Be Positive

    Whenever you’re afraid, you’ll tend to focus on negative thoughts and emotions. But then, they fester in your mind and transform into this big, ugly thing that you can no longer control.

    Why not try some positivity for a change? Remember, the mind is quite powerful; it just needs a small push in the right direction.

    By thinking positively, you can overcome your fears and actually live to tell the tale! All you have to do is believe it, and everything else will fall into place.

    Reprogram Your Nervous System

    1. Focus on a safe, comforting image or memory of attachment. It could be your partner, child, or interaction with God. 
    2. Close your eyes, focus on this image or memory, and breathe slowly and deeply.
    3. Let your breath be long, holding it for a second or two at the top of the inhale and bottom of the exhale. 
    4. Allow whatever emotion to come up without judgment or interpretation. 
    5. Open your eyes and do a “body scan” from the top of your head to your feet. Notice what is going on in your body. Place a hand in that area, adjust your position and repeat the steps above. 
    6. Do this as many times as you need or want to…the more you practice this, the stronger your nervous system becomes. I call this NeuroResilience. 

    Schedule an appointment today with Ron Huxley and learn this an other important life skills today!